and percy thinks about how tired he is of doing what's expected of him - being a pawn on a chess board, running errands for the gods, giving up annabeth by being here and following this stupid city's rules - and he thinks about how nico is right here in front of him and how nico doesn't care about the fact that percy can't promise him anything. ( for once in his life, he's working on not making empty promises. ) he hates himself for it a little ( in the same way he'd hated hearing annabeth say his name with fear in it in tartarus ) but it doesn't stop him because people are counting on him, and annabeth isn't here.
she's not here.
nico is.
he does what he does best and he stops thinking. percy grabs nico by the collar of his shirt and drags him in for a kiss, still leaning back on one arm to support his weight. it's not a bright idea, not when he's in nothing but a white shirt and a pair of black boxers. ( if he were still thinking, he'd remind himself it's okay because there's a comforter between them. ) if nico doesn't pull away from him or brace a hand on percy's chest to put a halt to it, then he's letting go of his tight hold on his resolve. this time, he doesn't crush their mouths together ravenously. it's unhurried because he's not planning on running away. ]
[ this time, when percy draws him in for the kiss, nico can taste the way percy seems to have accepted this, even wants this in the way of a slow burn. like the son of the sea, nico is acutely aware how little clothes either of them wearing. his own thin pajama pants won't hide much if this continues too far. even the comforter between them will make little difference. but nico doesn't care. percy is kissing him because he wants to kiss him. and nico couldn't be happier.
nico neither lifts a hand nor tries to stop percy. he doesn't pull away but leans in, closer, wanting to presses himself against percy as his lips part. it's silent in the room save for the slow pressing of mouths and in nico's ears, it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. one of his hands reaches out to find percy's jaw, slides along it to curl fingers in the hair at percy's nape. there he holds, almost but not quite desperately. how long will this last, he wonders. before percy changes his mind, before annabeth comes back? how much time will he have with percy before it all comes crashing down as everything always does for him.
he can't let himself think about it much. not when percy's warm mouth is insistently pressed against his own. there's something different this time, at least. as if something in percy has changed and nico wants to explore it more.
eventually a quiet noise escapes him. a little needy and a little low. it's the sound of want. nico wants to pour himself over percy, feel the flame of desire burn through his veins. but that's too fast. keep it slow, he tells himself. keep it natural and let percy guide them however percy wants. ]
he leans in, reaches up and holds on. his touch sends jolts through percy's body. it's the same thrill he gets when he leaps without knowing where to land. in a city that can't offer him adventure, he wants to chase that rush. he releases nico's shirt in favor of trailing his hand down his side to his hip. he doesn't claw at him desperately this time like he's starving for any contact at all. but he does grasp at nico as if he needs something to hold onto. he's not sure what his own intentions are anymore, whether he means to keep him steady and at a comfortable distance or if he wants to put up zero resistance when it comes to nico leaning in. his hand slips ( it's no accident ) down to nico's thigh, then slides back up.
if percy's knuckles catch on the hem of nico's shirt and his palm grazes the bare skin of nico's stomach, or his hip, then he's not going to complain.
not when he's making sounds like that. his open desire encourages percy to keep going, to turn their soft press of lips into open-mouthed kissing. he's done holding himself back. maybe that's the ungodly hour of the night talking, but percy doesn't think twice about tilting his head to the side and trying to catch nico's bottom lip between his own. if the son of hades doesn't pull away for air first, then percy's gently sucking and grazing his teeth light as a feather against his lip.
he does pause after that, eyes open, just to look at nico and absorb the moment. only for a few seconds. ]
[ percy, likewise, tastes like adrenaline and warning and the freshness of the sea. it sits on nico's tongue, exhilarating and breath taking. he could drown alone in just the slow passing of their lips and die quite happy. but then percy is deepening the kiss, their tongues meet, and nico is lost in the thrill of being pressed so close. nico doesn't need percy's hunger or his desperation because the touch is enough to anchor him and make him sink in against the other demigod. the hand at percy's nape slides forward to cup against his neck and nico can feel the thrum of percy's pulse under his palm.
and then percy's hand is on his thigh, brushing warm and callused fingers against the fabric of his pj pants. his breath catches, breath hitching, and he wishes desperately that he had put on shorts instead of the flannel pants that had been within reach. if he'd gone with shorts, he'd be able to feel percy even more. he wants to feel every part of percy. wants to be so close that their bones blend and he can no longer tell himself apart from the son of the sea. then, maybe, nico would feel the completion in his soul that he's always sought.
slowly, though. slowly.
percy's hand moves again and this time, warm skin brushes against the coolness of nico's abdomen. the muscles of his stomach tense under the sensation and he shudders as another noise escapes him. percy has his lower lip caught and all he can do is dig fingers into the bedding at their side as he tries to grasp the enormity of the situation. only, that's hard to do with the blue light of percy's room reflecting off green eyes, making them look like the depths of the sea off the mediterranean coast.
[ right, slowly. they can do slow. so what if they go mindlessly and without brakes in their everyday lives? this is different, percy tells himself, with his hand under nico's shirt. he feels good. he trembles and percy sucks in a breath. he tries not to think of ways to make nico do that again. the contrast of their temperatures and nico's fingers twisting in his blanket are distracting. they chisel away at his resolve. he's not totally inexperienced. if they're not careful, he knows exactly where this is heading. it's part of the reason his hand's sliding back to his own side. he probably hasn't crossed a line ( he's positive nico would tell him if he had ) but he feels like he might.
if nico keeps looking at him like that, and saying his name like percy's stolen all the air from his lungs, he's not sure what will happen next. ]
Yeah? [ he flashes a lopsided smile, equally as goofy as it is mischievous. this is a side of nico he's never seen before. not so reserved. his walls are still up in some places but they're slipping. it's hard to resist the temptation to keep knocking them down, especially once he recognizes the effect he has on nico. ] Too much?
[ definitely the latter. nico feels a bit dazed, still breathless, and he already regrets the hand slipping away from his abdomen. he misses it like he might miss a limb and has to stop himself from reaching out and yanking percy back into a kiss. his resolve had been limited to begin with and it's even weaker now that he's feeling as light-headed as he is. gods, he wants this to head everywhere possible, and nico isn't sure he can stop them if percy doesn't.
and really, in nico's estimation, that doesn't seem like a bad thing. he's willing to give as much of himself to percy as percy wants because he never dreamed this would ever happen. he doubted the likelihood with percy always attached to annabeth's hip. and maybe he should feel a bit guilty about having percy this way when annabeth is gone, but he doesn't care. his mind is filled with the son of the sea and he wants those lips on him again. ]
No- No, I'm... [ he swallows, one hand reaching over to cup percy's cheek as nico gazes at him. without thinking, he licks his lips and misses the taste of percy's. ] Don't stop. Gods, please don't stop.
Wasn't planning on it. [ it sounds overly blunt once he says it out loud. he's not bashful about the admission though, it's only nico in here with him. he has known percy for years and if he's going to make a fool of himself, then at least it won't be the first time. he's afraid of screwing anything up between them but that breathy plea makes him feel pretty brave. reckless. maybe he doesn't have anything else left to lose. has nico always looked at him like he's invincible? he doesn't remember. he recalls the scathing looks, the literal dark shadows that hang around him ( or did back then ) and anything else, he'd assumed had been nico looking through him to get a better look at annabeth.
it seems silly now.
he glances down with nico's hand on his face, debating something, then throws back the blanket and scoots closer. right in front of him. his knee bumps into one of nico's, totally because he's trying to wedge his thigh between both of nico's. it's way more plausible and comfortable if nico lays back, but he's not really an it's impossible! kind of guy, so he tries anyway. there isn't a sliver of his comforter wedged between them now. ( who needs safety nets? ) it occurs to him that he's pressed flush against nico's hip and he's playing with fire here, especially when he's not unaffected by their kisses.
percy mirrors nico, cups the side of his face with his palm and strokes his cheek with his thumb. he's still in love with annabeth and he doubts anything in any universe can change that but this isn't meaningless to him. nico's feelings definitely aren't irrelevant to him. he leans in before he can say something stupid and pretends that the short hum that vibrates against nico's lips isn't coming from him. ]
[ those four words are like ambrosia to his ears. ever second of every moment they kiss, nico is realizing that percy really and truly wants him. wants him like this and sees just how much of an affect percy has on the son of hades. it's better than anything he's ever experienced and if just making out with percy feels like this, he can't help but wonder what everything else would feel like. but he has to pull the reins on that thought before it gets too far along. it would be far too easy for him to succumb to the way percy makes him feel and get hard before he can control himself.
and it's getting harder still with the way percy slides a knee between his thighs. nico descends back into the bedding with little prompting and finds his breath hitching more than he'd like it to. gods. how far will this go? should he say something? or would that be tempting fate? the gods knew just how much the both of them tended to do that every day.
in the back of his mind, the thought that this might be what percy does with annabeth curls like a small black shadow that he can't dispel. perhaps that will always be something between them, but nico reminds himself that even though percy undoubtedly loves annabeth more than life, that he, the son of hades, has somehow managed to make his way into percy's heart as well makes a swell of emotion rise in his chest. it feels as if it encapsulate him when percy's hand graces his cheek. it's so perfect that nico cannot help the small mewl that bubbles up against percy's mouth when their lips meet again. this time, nico wastes no time parting his lips and encouraging percy to do the same, the ball of his tongue stud almost clacking against his teeth. ]
[ percy has done this with annabeth. they've gone farther than heavy petting and making out on a bed, but he's never going to bring that up to nico unprompted. he knows that nico has been with other people too, that they're more experienced than percy himself is. those thoughts hang over him as well. he does his best to hold them at bay because he's not using nico as a replacement any more than nico is using him. this is where he wants to be, he realizes, and just one person he wants to be intimate with. it's a struggle for him to expand that beyond annabeth and nico and he's hoping he doesn't have to find out if he has that capability inside him. he doesn't know what it means ( what they mean to each other now ) but he goes with it in the only way he knows how - he keeps moving forward.
he whimpers and percy swallows it, feels it creep down his spine in a rush of heat, conscious of how fast sating a curiosity ( and wanting to be comforted ) can change into hunger. you can handle this, he reminds himself. maybe he can't. maybe this is his undoing. he likes how nico feels underneath him a little too much, how he grants percy the intensity in their kiss that he's starting to need ( instead of just wanting it. ) he hopes the groan that pours out of him isn't as loud as it seems to him in the quiet of the apartment they all share.
some part of him doesn't care if it's deafening, if it's the only audible noise in the entire city while the rest of the world sleeps. the stud on nico's tongue is a stark reminder of who he's with ( as if he could simply forget ) when he brushes his tongue against nico's to taste him again. he doesn't pull away at the unfamiliar sensation of the stud this time. up until kissing nico, he never would have thought he was into piercings all that much or that they made a difference. it's actually sort of hot, or maybe that's the intrusive i wonder where else that stud would feel good that pops into the back of his mind. sooner rather than later ( because he has zero chill and less and less of a want to control himself ), he shifts his hips to try and get more comfortable and gets the friction he swears he isn't searching for with a roll of his hips.
he gasps into nico's mouth ( pull back, pull back, pull back ) and tries to give it his best passing effort that he isn't chasing after more than this, more than their tongues brushing together and being with him. ]
[ there's no stopping it now. when percy's body rolls against him, firm and unyielding, nico can no more fight against the surge of pleasure that flares through him than a crumbling cliff can withstand the ocean's waves in a storm. he's drowning and nico certainly doesn't want to be saved. not from this. and certainly never from percy. he wants to fall apart right here, right now, under the boy he's loved since he was ten. and it seems like he just might because percy is ever-so-slowly eroding away whatever willpower nico has left to stop this.
maybe he should be thinking about how very little is keeping their bodies from pressing together completely. maybe he should be thinking about how this is the bed percy shared with annabeth. maybe he should be thinking about how will is in the bedroom next door, and might even hear them. but he can't. not with the way percy's groan resonates in his ears and all the way into his bones. not with the way percy gasps so openly into his mouth. he doesn't care about anything other than the way the world seems to fade as if it was nothing more than the shadows he controls.
the gasp percy makes is echoed when friction burns need straight to his groin. he arches into the way percy is now slotted so wonderfully between his legs and with one hand lodging itself in percy's hair, he reaches back and up to the headboard with the other. seeking something, anything to ground him again because all his inhibitions are being washed away thanks to the sea's favored son.
at some point, though (and despite how much he hates the realization), nico has to pull away because breathing through his nose just isn't enough. his heart drums against his rib cage as if seeking to break free and he pauses only long enough to mewl for percy before arching up and chasing after percy's lips for another kiss.
all too easily, nico realizes, they've pushed this... thing between them further than is possible to come back from. and all too easily, he knows, they could end up taking it further still. what he wonders, though, is how willing percy might be. nico finds himself almost afraid to ask. ]
not now when nico's careful grasp on his guard continues to slip. maybe the shadows have taken that hostage along with his common sense. he's not asking questions after he's settled between nico's thighs, not when he can feel how he practically molds himself to percy's body. he arches his back, reaches for the headboard and percy's hair like he's going to sink into the mattress and fall away if he doesn't. is he supposed to feel guilty for how much he needs to be needed like that? he gives his support freely, pins nico between his hips and the sheets by rubbing against him again. it's slow and intentional. an unrestrained twist of his hips as his hand slides away from nico's face and down to his waist to hold him together. or to drag him closer against his own body, he's not even sure which one of them he's trying to help anymore.
he sucks down air when nico breaks their kiss, panting ( cool, that's flattering ), and leans back into the kiss without hesitation. he flicks nico's tongue stud with his own tongue experimentally, fascinated by it, wonders briefly if it gives him any kind of satisfaction or if it's solely for looks... and his partner. he doesn't have to worry about blushing in this lighting at least.
percy feels like he's overheating. he's not pulling away from the kiss so much as he's pressing his lips to nico's reassuringly a couple times, right before his hand slides from his waist to the bed in order to support his weight. that, and he's peeling his shirt off over his head and tossing it wherever it happens to land. it sobers him up more than he means for it to and he swallows hard in the faint blue-tinted darkness. like it's only occurring to him now that he's thrown his shirt somewhere that he's in nothing but boxers and he knows nico can feel exactly how turned-on he is. his arm trembles, defying his brief restraint, but he wets his lips and tells his body to shut up. ]
Is this.. okay? [ self-explanatory, maybe, but this is new for him. ]
[ that same guard all but falls away as percy peels off his shirt. nico sucks in a breath, and he's so close to being molded completely against percy that his head feels light. there's even less separating them now and gods but he wants to feel more. percy is hard against him and all nico can think is i did this, i got him like this, he wants me like i want him. it's delirious and delicious and dangerous all at once. his eyes dilate sharply, making impossibly dark eyes even darker still. and what part of him that isn't grasping onto percy trembles with the realization of where this is going.
it's what he's dreamed about since he was old enough to understand his own body. a dream he never thought would ever be fulfilled and often left him with such an intense longing that even the cold of the underworld or the torture of tartarus seemed like nothing in comparison. he'd resigned himself to never having this, and yet... here he is, gazing up at percy with undisguised need and want. nico is flushed with both arousal and anticipation, hoping this will go exactly where it seems to be going.
( and all the while, part of him—that part that is the child of hades, forever holding onto grudges and bitterness and pain—wishes this had happened sooner. that he could've given his very first experience to percy. that this could be something that percy might have alone. but it's too late for that and too late for regret, so he'll cleave to this moment now and any moment he might get hereafter. )
not to be outdone, nico pushes his body up enough to begin tugging up his own shirt. it takes a bit of maneuvering, but soon enough it follows percy's to somewhere on the floor. visible now is how nico has grown. no longer just the scrawny boy percy met in maine but a lithe, strong demigod in his own right. not that nico finds himself all that appealing, at least not in comparison to the way undulating blue light lingers on the muscles of percy's bare chest. but apparently he's enough for percy and that alone sends a shiver through him. ]
Percy... [ his eyes go lidded for half a moment and then he looks up at the son of poseidon. all heat and lust and desperate need. ] Please. I want you.
[ nico looks at percy like he's still holding up the sky and he doesn't know what to do with how heavy that feels on his shoulders. he's nothing special underneath the circumstances he has been shoved into. anyone can do the things that he's done and honestly, in his opinion, there are much more impressive looking guys out there. and nico can have his pick of them ( especially here in the city of eudio ) and percy's aware of that because he's teased him about it. he just doesn't get it. why nico's in his bed when there's a guy in the next room whose heart isn't set on anyone else. that isn't covered in fresh scars from curses in tartarus, namely the big one that's courtesy of geryon.
he gives nico the room he needs to mirror him and shed his own shirt by sinking back onto his knees and sitting up, kneeling between nico's legs. his eyes roam greedily over the skin that's revealed to him. percy's palm isn't far behind. he trails it up nico's stomach to his chest, ghosts his fingers over nico's camp beads ( if he's still wearing them ) and lets it glide back down. he's firm under percy's hand ( and sexy, that's the word ) in a way that annabeth isn't. it's different but it's not less arousing.
his mouth is as dry as sandpaper when he meets nico's gaze and processes what he's saying. ]
Um, yeah. [ very eloquent, this guy. he crawls back over nico, settles back on top of him because he's not ready to ditch the one slip of fabric he has on, regardless of how little it's concealing with the front of his boxers tenting like they are. not that it isn't alluring with their bare chests touching and not that he doesn't want nico just as much but he's not ready for everything all at once. that nervous energy is hanging around him again, felt even in how he kisses nico. ]
I can— [ why is this so embarrassing? ] I can take care of you if you want. Or we can keep doing this? [ he suggests with another intentional grind of his hips. it's not enough, not nearly, he wants more and it's driving him crazy too but.. ] I've just. I've never gone all the way before.
[ it's times like this that remind nico that this boy hovering over him, while entirely heroic and loyal to a fault, is also just like him... a guy trying to figure out his place in the world. sure, percy will always be the one who saved him, time and time again, but nico is also fully aware that percy is not perfect. he's deeply flawed. and as percy stutters, hesitates, but still dives in like this is where he belongs, nico feels as if his heart might burst because he may have fallen in love with percy because of his heroism, but has stayed in love with percy because of his flaws as well. percy is so human and nico couldn't possibly want him to be anything other than who he is.
he's still incredibly turned on, of course. even more so now that percy's warm hands are gliding along his torso, jostling the camp beads around his throat. his breath hitches and he has to swallow hard because he can feel his nipples tighten and the look percy gives him makes him tremble again. he wonders vaguely how he looks in percy's eyes and what he's thinking, but for as much as he might tease percy about having kelp for brains or the like, percy is as complicated as they come. he has depth like the ocean from whence his power comes and nico will never not be astonished by what he sees in percy's eyes.
percy might not think he's enough, that he's just some regular guy who's had to carry more weight than a person should ever rightly be burdened with, but nico knows what that weight feels like and he wants to help percy carry it. so, dragging his fingers out of percy's hair, he allows hilt-callused fingers trail along percy's jaw. across percy's lips as he licks his own. he rolls his hips up against percy's and then slowly shakes his head.
if this is percy's first time... well, shouldn't it be with someone he loves? isn't that what percy has always wanted? nico remembers the sunny day in camp when percy had been so elated by the acceptance annabeth had given him to the idea of going together to new rome. and though the memory makes him feel like his heart is being squeezed, nico can't bring himself to ruin anything like that between percy and annabeth. they truly do belong together and if he can just be a part of percy's heart while she dominates the rest, he would be content with that.
carefully, and if percy allows it, nico flexes his thighs, intending to guide percy onto his back. if percy's comfortable with it, he'll settle atop percy's lap and lean over him, holding his gaze. he knows just how much pressure has been placed on percy's shoulders through the years. part of that had been his fault in expecting a thirteen-year-old to protect his sister as if percy were someone to set on a pedestal. but he knows what it's like to bear the scars of tartarus, knows that being a demigod means being thrust into situations you can't control, can't choose. in this case, he wants percy to have the chance to decide for himself. ]
Or... I can take care of you. [ his voice is far more sturdy than he'd expected, especially considering how breathless percy has made him. ] What do you want?
[ he has no reason to put up a fight. nico flips their positions and percy rolls with it, having no qualms with nico on top of him. he's leaning over him, pumping the brakes, and all percy can think about is how much he enjoys nico's weight on his lap, how he wants to keep rubbing against him, how much of a distraction he is from their conversation which is more significant than his physical needs. he reaches for nico's hips and graps them lightly, just somewhere to rest his hands. his teeth dig into his lower lip because he's torturing himself with the thought of dragging nico down against him, of holding him there, and he has to toss his head back and look at the ceiling to focus.
get it together, jackson. ]
No, [ he says with perfect clarity, attention back on nico. ] I'm not using you. I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me just because I'm hard. [ yes, he knows there's more to it than that for nico but it doesn't sit right with him, like somehow because he's more experienced it's okay for him to get percy off but not the other way around.
his stare is strange as if the question catches him off guard. what does he want? that's a thing? he sighs, wondering how it is that nico does that. he cuts through everything else and gets right to the point. he doesn't ramble on or waste his words and he's always been that way. so sure of his choice even in the midst of chaos. he knows what he wants, it's easy for him to answer that. percy, not so much. ]
I don't know. [ helpful! ] I don't want it to be one-sided. I want us both to enjoy this, or I don't want anything. [ so many people have taken things from nico. bianca took his hope for a family, hades took away his hope for learning about his past, percy took him for granted for a long time, and then there's cupid, taking his chance to decide for himself how he wants to accept himself. he doesn't want to add to that. he doesn't want to keep pushing and pulling because nico can bend without breaking.
he brushes his fingers across nico's waistband, contemplating dropping his palm and covering his erection with it. he's strongly considering it, but he hesitates. percy wants to hear what he has to say because he usually has a reasonable solution for all parties. he's good at that. ]
Edited (typos because 5am tagging) 2017-03-20 18:03 (UTC)
[ percy's grip on his hips steadies him more than the earth itself and while percy tortures himself with the thought, nico just goes for it. the press of their hips helps relieve some of the need thrumming in his bones, but it's still not enough. though he desperately wants to keep rocking, keep grinding against percy, watch the way his lower lip is snagged by his teeth, but he has to reign himself in a little, remind himself to breathe. not only that, percy is essentially giving control over to him, allowing him to call the shots and it's a weighty burden. one nico never imagined he'd be saddled with. and yet, he likes the idea that percy is allowing him to decide.
it's flattering, of course. and a little bit dorky the way percy's immediate thought is that nico is willing to let himself be used for percy's sake. nico does have a record of doing that, doing what he thinks is the right or necessary thing to do in order to keep percy jackson alive ( because nico always thought that losing him, even if he might never truly have him would be just as earth shattering as losing bianca had been. ) however, that's not the case here. and nico's lips quirk because it's the way percy obviously cares for him, worries even, and nico finds himself smiling just a fraction. all affectionate and just a little bit wry. it's less about just getting percy off ( though he'd certainly enjoy that and would likely get off at the same time ) and more about giving percy a choice when he knows how often choices are taken from the son of poseidon. it's like how many choices have been stolen from nico and though sometimes that makes nico feel bitter and resentful, he's not going to let his own feelings get in the way of percy being able to decide for himself.
tilting his hips into the touch at his waistband and wanting nothing more than to shed the last bit of separation between them, nico only stalls enough to cup percy's cheek and nip at that lip that's been chewed on. ]
Sometimes... [ there's clear affection in his voice, but also a bit of that wry exasperation. ] What I meant was if you're really okay with this, with it being me and not, you know, Annabeth, then I'll show you what we'll do.
[ it's an out for percy, to prevent any later regrets. as much as nico wants to feel percy inside him, feel the son of the sea surging into him like the tide, he wants to make sure there will be no way percy will regret what they might do. he wants this to be for real. and not just because they're both horny.
and nico is horny. he wants nothing more than to guide percy inside him, show him how good this can feel, how incredibly groundbreaking an experience it can be. and to give just a hint of what might be coming if percy does want to continue, nico drags his palms down percy's chest before slowly cupping him through his boxers and squeezing. ]
[ nothing about what they're doing makes him feel steady. he's not on solid ground. he's sinking ( in the ocean, in darkness - it doesn't matter ) and he can't stabilize himself. nico rocks against him and then percy's fingers dig into his hips because he can't take it. he can't lay back and pretend he's not into this, that he's not biting back a gasp. this is what drowning feels like. he can't come up for air and this is what people must feel when they get caught in treacherous waves. it's insufferable, but percy's thoughts have disintegrated into more, more, more. he's greedy and he doesn't practice self-restraint, like, ever.
so maybe nico's holding back but percy's slightly lost to pleasure. he knows he needs to listen. he needs to think. but if he adjusts his hips enough, if he tugs nico forward an inch or two, then their bodes will slot together in just the right way that nico's sitting directly on top of percy's dick. the fabric's annoying, but it doesn't seem to stop him from arching up and rubbing himself against the seat of nico's pajama pants. he should probably let go of his waist, he probably shouldn't be using his grasp to push nico down on him. that's when his hand drifts and nico leans into it and pinches percy's lip with his teeth.
it hurts but it doesn't. the nip gets his attention, sort of, because there are words happening. words regarding whether he's okay with his first time being with nico instead of annabeth and it's like he's reached the surface for a moment. he's not. he's not okay with it going farther than this, not yet, because he's never imagined his first time to be with a guy, let alone nico. he still hasn't said anything ( he can't find the words ) and nico's waiting on him, albeit not patiently. his touch sears a path down percy's torso to the front of his boxers and he grunts before he can clamp his teeth down on the noise. his fingers hook in nico's waistband and he curses in greek, slides his hand to the sheets because he is listening.
he's probably going to come in his boxers, but he's listening. ]
I- [ can't breathe? ] I don't want this to stop. [ that's not an answer, is it? wait. is it? ]
You want me to be honest with you? I don't know what I'm doing. I never thought we'd be here, but we are. The scary thing is that I really like it. I want to keep touching you. I want to kiss you again. In case you missed it, I'm very, very into this, but I don't know if I'm doing it for the right reasons. [ he groans, less sexually charged and more out of frustration. ] I hate that I'm saying this, but I should know that before we... [ well, you know. he gestures vaguely, apparently too flustered to say sex out loud, never mind that they're half-naked already. ] Shouldn't I?
[ it's exactly like drowning, because when their hips meet in just the right way, providing just the right friction, nico can't breathe either. he's gasping, and for a moment, he tosses his head back with his throat exposed as his hips move on their own, rolling and colliding with percy's. undulating like the waves against the shore. it's perfect, the way percy's cock presses hard and firm just behind his still-clothed balls, making him tremble and seek some kind of purchase somewhere, both mentally and physically. not easy, by any means. and he can only ride the waves of absolute pleasure as they surge through him.
when he regains a bit of himself again, one hand still on percy's boxers while the other settles on percy's bare chest, he sucks in air. his heart feels like a constant beating drum, slamming into his rib cage, and the way percy curses in words they both know forces nico to bite down on his lip to withhold a curse of his own. he lifts himself just a fraction, enough so that when percy's fingers hook into his waistband, it shifts down just enough to make the 'v' of his slim hips even more pronounced.
and then percy is talking. rambling like he does when he's overcome with emotion. nico's dark eyes find percy's, hold his gaze as percy tries to talk his way around how he feels. nico doesn't speak, still biting his own lip because part of him is afraid of what he'll hear, but another part of him needs to know.
i don't want this to stop, percy says and nico knows exactly what he means. he doesn't want this to stop either. if it does, he's not sure what state his heart will be in. it's one thing to experience outright rejection. nico's heart has long since hardened itself in preparation for that. it would've been so much easier if they'd never started this, never let it get this far, because then nico would never know what it feels like to have percy hard and needy beneath him, just as wanting as he is. so he hopes, gods he hopes and tries not to hold his breath.
i don't know if i'm doing this for the right reasons.
it doesn't actually hurt when percy puts it like that. and the blow, as gentle as it is, is softened even more by the way percy admits without hesitation just how much he wants this, wants to kiss him, wants to feel him. nico once more thrills in that knowledge. it's how he's felt about percy for so long and even getting that in return is so incredibly mindblowing that nico whimpers a little.
now, nico's hands move again. sliding over taunt panes of percy's skin, tracing firm muscles with callused fingers. it's natural to question things like this. he doesn't even begrudge percy for being uncertain. in some ways, part of nico is too. ]
Yeah. You should know. We- We can even stop if that's better.
[ he swallows because it feels like his throat is closing up, like earth and stone are caught there, and though he can still breathe, he's torn. he doesn't want to stop, but if that's what percy needs...
his eyes still haven't left percy's and he subconsciously licks his lips. ]
Tell me. [ his voice is almost impossibly soft. ] Why do you think you're doing this?
[ nico's trying to kill him. that's what this is. he's trying to strip him of everything he is in a way that both hera and the river styx failed to. ( gods, right there, right there, yes. ) he rakes his teeth hard across his bottom lip and for a few agonizing seconds he's stuck staring at the stretch of exposed skin. he wants to bite nico, lean up and taste his throat. drag his teeth across it, leave a mark, maybe. he leans up halfway, but he doesn't make it as far as he wants before he's crying out and descending into a series of what he perceives as unflattering noises. he doesn't care. he doesn't have the drive to be modest with nico essentially riding him, and when he stops, percy really considers flipping him over and picking back up where they left off. he struggles with it visibly, warring with what he wants versus how he wants it to eventually unfold, if it ever does.
he can feel the pre-cum pooling at the head of his cock, wetting a spot on the front of his boxers. percy squirms under nico and drops his gaze to the prominent v of his hips. he's staring. how is nico this hot? how is this fair? he knows all he has to do is say the word and nico's willing to be his for tonight, willing to go that extra step and teach him what sex is really like. his fingers flex in the sheets once they slide away and it's a miracle he doesn't say what he's thinking out loud. he doesn't know anything about sucking cock, but there's a moment where he thinks about how easy it'd be to pull nico forward, to tug the front of his pants down and try. it's such a filthy thought for him that he has to physically bind himself not to find out if he's that impulsive.
the son of hades whimpers, smooths his hands over his chest again, and percy thinks stop. stop doing that. because he can't. he doesn't know how. ]
I just need to stop touching you for a minute. [ yeah, that's going to help. he crosses his arms behind his head, pins his own arms in place because it's the only thing that stops him from reaching out. now that he knows what being with nico feels like, he can't pretend that he's not interested. he can't tell himself it's a weird situation based on circumstance and it'll pass. percy jackson wants nico di angelo, now he knows for sure. is it only the physical aspects? he wants to say yes, needs to, but there's a feeling he gets in his gut that says that's a lie. if that's true, that he's only into nico for these sensations, they would have gotten it over with already. it wouldn't mean anything, and he wouldn't feel as guilty.
he cares about nico, always has, but the extent of that concern is transforming, expanding. until now, he hasn't had to ask himself what it means. in fact, he's avoided it like the plague. nico's with will. and until they'd kissed again, it'd been easy to try and separate himself from it and focus on everything he feels regarding annabeth's departure. sparring with clarisse, running until he can't anymore, trying to exert himself physically so that there's nothing left mentally or emotionally. except at the end of the day, he still misses annabeth, and nico's still one of the only people there for him.
nico wets his lips and asks him a question, and percy worries if he answers him, he's going to lose this. think first, percy, think. ]
Because you're here. [ he says thoughtlessly, ignoring his own advice. he doesn't mean it quite like it comes across, like it's only because nico's on top of him, waiting in the wings. as if anyone will do. anyone that pursues him and kisses him and sits on top of his lap in annabeth's absence. he unfolds one arm even though it's dangerous for him, catches nico's wrist before he can shadow travel out of the room due to that really crappy explanation.
percy guides nico's hand to his heart, not really thinking about the placement on that level so much as he wants nico to feel under his fingertips what he's doing to him. ]
I've given you practically every reason not to be near me over the years and you haven't left my side. You've been here for me since the moment we got into this city. [ yeah, percy's not dumb. he knows there may be ulterior motives there, that in light of being here, a spark has been reignited in nico's heart - hope, and he's guilty of fanning that flame, of needing it to some degree because he'd felt unworthy of it. ]
If we do this, I want it to mean something. I want to be sure. I don't want it to be because of me, because I need to feel like I'm worth something to someone. [ losing annabeth is messing with his head. not talking out with her, not knowing what she feels, what she thinks, it's tearing him apart. ] Sorry, that's.. not your mess. I mean that I want it to be because we want to be with each other that way. I don't want to question it later. I don't want anything else clouding my judgment. Does that make sense?
[ he's a romantic at heart. he wants his first time, be it with annabeth or nico ( or someone else ), to be perfect. ]
[ nico's got about as much control over the situation as percy does. with each shift of their hips, with each noise that spills from percy's mouth, nico wants to keep going. to go and go and go and not stop, ever. his own dick is about as hard as it can get now, gradually leaving a wet spot on his pajama pants as precome seeps from the tip. if he had any idea what might be going on in percy's mind at that moment, he would readily agree. shout yes and yes and yes and yes. but he doesn't know and really, that's okay because if he did, he might just come then and there. not very sexy at all. not when he's supposed to be guiding this.
he has to releases a slow breath, try to regain his senses again when percy responds. the first thing percy says does make him flinch, makes bitterness and betrayal well up in his chest and hurt shows in his eyes. but the hand at his wrist restrains him and he realizes percy has more to say. his palm is placed against percy's heart where nico can feel percy's rib cage vibrate against the beating of his heart. he doesn't even bother to hide the way he gasps in response, stares at percy with wide eyes.
does it mean what he thinks it means? nico isn't sure. most of the time, he has a good measure of percy's intentions. it's hard not to when percy is simple that way. some aspects of him will never change. but this... nico trembles as his mouth opens and closes. he doesn't want to voice out loud the three words that have been hanging on his tongue, so he bites his lip again, waiting for percy to continue. when he does, nico isn't disappointed.
in a way, percy's insistence that this be... special has nico coloring but also thinking about how much it endears him to percy. the son of poseidon has come to a place that he cares enough to want this first time to be important. there's no way nico can fault him for that.
once more, the wry smile forms on his lips and he leans forward enough to press his forehead against percy's. he still holds the other boy's gaze and his fingers traipse their way down to percy's waistband. they pluck at the fabric, but don't pull down the cloth just yet. ]
I understand. I want it to mean something too. You are... Gods, Percy, you're the person I've always wanted to do this with. I stayed by your side because- Because the thought of not being near you is just-
[ he gives his head a rapid shake. ]
But... I'm willing to wait. If that's what you'd prefer. I've waited a long time, it won't hurt to wait a little longer.
[ wouldn't that be something? if nico's the one that loses total control of himself first. percy would probably still think it was hot. he doesn't hold as tightly to the idea that he's inadequate because he's less experienced. obviously, they're both having a good time. it's a nice little boost to his ego. he can do something right. the city doesn't need him to leap into action, doesn't need his quips in the face of adversaries, but apparently this he can do without screwing it up somehow.
maybe that's wrong.
maybe he is screwing with nico's head, leading him on, giving him hope with his hand over percy's heart. they don't have a future. nico is with the son of apollo and he's happy, and percy is with the daughter of athena, also happy. or will be, some day, when this is all over.
where can this possibly go between them? what's he even doing besides holding a shovel and burying them both deeper and deeper in this hole? it can't go anywhere. it never will. but nico's staring at him with those same dark eyes that have demanded a promise from him in the past ( he's done the same to nico - twice, actually ), and he can't seem to find the strength to pry his hand away.
somewhere aphrodite and cupid are high-fiving and drinking mojitos. percy hates them.
nico leans forward and bumps their foreheads together and it's such a small affectionate gesture that it makes his chest feel tight. how does he know percy needs that from him in that moment? it's likely he needs the contact just as much. it's funny though, to imagine nico as the kind of person that needs anything from anyone. that's an old perception, he reminds himself, and it's only a part of who the son of hades is. he can go it alone, that doesn't mean that he wants to. percy owes it to nico not to hide from him and so he doesn't look away, doesn't glance down to follow the path nico's fingers are taking. he remains steady, touches their noses together, but doesn't kiss him. if not kissing and not touching is their way out of the hole, then percy feels himself slipping, unable to find purchase on the walls as long as nico's playing with his boxers.
don't lean into him, don't move. the instructions are quite simple to follow once he's caught off guard by what's being confessed to him. it's his turn to try on the wide-eyed look. he knows that nico has feelings for him and that it's been a winding and confusing journey and he's had to find his footing on his own. he knows that nico must have struggled endlessly, wanting to be near percy but also not wanting to be anywhere near him, all the while hoping that maybe, some day, under the right circumstances that he might reciprocate. he knows because it's how he'd felt for annabeth, waiting, too uncertain of his own feelings to ever make a move. never knowing if he'd live through the next day, let alone to see the prophecy play out. hearing that he's the person nico's always wanted to be with intimately just makes his ears turn red. he has to say something with nico shaking his head like that. ]
Hey. I told you already. I'm not going anywhere. [ if he needs reminding, so be it. looking at nico, he does his best imitation of a guy that has his head together. ] You were pretty good at cards once, right? Play these ones right and maybe it won't be that long.
[ feel free to smack him in the head with a pillow any time, nico. ]
[ he can go it alone when he's forced to. had been for a while here in eudio because he never thought he'd be here in this moment. until will showed up, nico figured he'd have to rely on himself to go after what he wanted and needed in order to accomplish his goal. it was only after meeting loki that it became something he truly enjoyed. because all of a sudden, he's wanted and needed. something he'd felt, even when he'd finally settled in at camp. and now, he feels it even more having percy under him, clearly hard and as eager as he is.
if he's getting led on, nico no longer cares. intellectually, he already knows that this can't last. that it'll never be what he really wants. he's long since accepted that, before they even kissed. but nico is selfish, he knows he is deep down, and he wants to experience this for as long as it's possible. if he can have one scrap of percy, maybe even one small part of his heart, nico will be satisfied. it would be more than he'd ever expected.
and it feels good like this, even if they're no moving in the same desperate way they had moments ago. just with his forehead pressed to percy's, their breaths mingling as they breathe and speak. his fingers continue their slow traipsing along the band of percy's boxers and he feels the smallest smile form on his lips.
until percy says that.
the first reaction is a groan and not one of pleasure. it's followed by a very visible roll of his eyes and he certainly is tempted to smack the son of poseidon with a pillow. he only manages to abstain by sitting up. his eyes go darker skill and the annoyed frown soon shifts into something much more lascivious. if percy wants to play that way, well... nico is more than game. ]
I still am, you know.
[ his voice is a low murmur full of danger and promise and he flattens his palms against percy's abdomen, slides them against bare skin and under percy's body to grab handfuls of percy's cheeks. his own body rolls against percy's again. ]
And I don't think it would take much for me to get you to fold, Percy.
[ that's him. that's who he is. not to the same extent as leo, but it's the same general idea. percy will always try and lighten the mood if he can, which is a step-up from the insecure kid he used to be. the guy that spent so much time looking backwards, second guessing himself, being an unpredictable to himself as he was to his enemies. surviving the titan wars, losing his friends, and bearing witness to luke's sacrifice with only annabeth and grover at his side had shaped him. he knows exactly what he is and is not capable of. his strengths have been less visible than his shortcomings lately, but he's working on that.
he's trying to cut through the sexual tension between them because nico's still perched on him and his fingers are traveling and he really. just. can't deal with that. maybe if he kills the mood, it'll be easier. it's a great plan! a perfect strategy and he actually believes it's having the desired effect. nico looks exasperated ( why are you this way, percy? ) and he grins sheepishly, but he's not that sorry.
scratch that. he's feeling progressively more sorry when he catches the change in nico's eyes and his voice, the charge in the atmosphere. he tries to backpedal, something like: ] How could you forget?
[ but then nico's palms are on his skin and he inhales sharply in surprise. there's relief too. it's as if nico's ignited a fire that won't be quelled. his touch isn't void of heat like the underworld, but to percy he runs a little cooler in comparison and the contrast is nice since he feels like he's overheating. it's such a sudden and drastic change, going from bumping foreheads to nico grabbing his ass and grinding against him. he has zero guard. his mouth opens when he moans and his expression morphs - frowning, but not. struggling to sit still. he's overwhelmed by the pleasure and it's overriding the need to know where they stand. there's no filtering the way his eyes darken, or how his breathless honesty comes across. his good intentions are corroding.
percy can't keep his hands off of nico. they're going in circles where he relents and returns like the tide. he glides his palms up nico's sides, thumbs spread out across his stomach. his sea green eyes likely look black in this light but he's following every inch his fingertips map out with his gaze. ]
I'd let you win. [ let him? he's already winning. if this is a game, everything's going in his favor. it's with that realization that percy drags his hand south, down his stomach, straight to the front of his pajama pants. he's still nervous but he's less afraid of messing up, more willing to learn as he goes. he knows what feels good to him, so he's going with something like that. he rubs his palm along the length of nico's bulge and squeezes him lightly as he he traces his fingers and thumb back up, cupping him. percy's not above grinding against the back of his hand as he touches nico either, not this far along. ] I don't care. I'd let you.
Edited (quietly edits now that someone isn't hovering over my shoulder) 2017-03-27 10:27 (UTC)
[ the hands on his skin, percy's hands on his skin make him feel on fire. it's a warmth he rarely experiences because unlike what most people think, the underworld is not filled with fire. it's cold in most places and thus its denizens often run just as cold, nico included. but here, now, he feels hot, overheating, but not in the way the phlegethon burns. it's just the right kind of searing sensation that speeds through his veins, enhanced further still when percy's fingers and palm caress him just right.
but more than all that, it's the honesty with which percy reacts. the way he responds to nico and the way he holds no sound back. percy seems to have forgotten that they're not alone in the apartment and nico finds that so-fucking-hot because that means he's gotten inside percy's brain in such a way to ensure complete distraction. it's all him, the son of hades, and he has percy wrapped around his fingers.
when will he have an opportunity like this again? when will nico get the chance to have percy like this? he tries not to think about what will come later, what kind of awkwardness or discussions might arise. right now, all nico wants is to get him and percy off.
so he grinds himself against percy's palm with a noise not unlike a purr and leans forward again to lick a stripe along percy's collarbone. ]
Good. Because I want you, Percy Jackson.
[ he sucks a bruise into percy's skin, keeping the pace of their rolling hips and then pulls away again. ]
he can't make noises like that ( ones that go straight to his dick ) and he can't grind against him because he can feel the friction even with his hand in the way. he throws his head back when nico licks his collarbone because it's too good. it's like a dream. it doesn't feel real at all. like this is something that's happening between them in reality. maybe that's what sex is like in the dark of a bedroom, maybe it's supposed to feel like a dirty secret. ( and it does feel dirty in a way, knowing will's in the next bedroom, knowing annabeth is probably waiting for him at home because even if people at home aren't supposed to know they're missing, annabeth would. ) he's already more than a little delirious when nico tells him he wants him and calls him by his full name. ]
I'm not- [ yours? is that what he wants to say? is that what he means anymore? he jerks his hips and cries out when nico marks him. he knows without looking that it's bright red, it might even be purple later. that bruise is wrong, but it just feeds into that insecurity in his head. yes, he pushed annabeth away. yes, he betrayed her. yes, he's the reason why she didn't want to be near him, and yet, nico does. that's the one resonating detail. he doesn't blame annabeth ( he hates himself ) but if nico wants him, then at least somebody still thinks he's worthy of something. ] I'm not going to make it that far, Nico.
[ he feels his stomach tighten, his thighs tremble from the force of trying to hold back. nico stops rolling against him and he grunts in frustration, squinting at him in confusion. ]
It's in the dresser, I think, [ he knows it is because that's where he keeps a fleshlight. ] but if you touch me, I'm going to cum. I might even if you don't. I'm too close.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
and percy thinks about how tired he is of doing what's expected of him - being a pawn on a chess board, running errands for the gods, giving up annabeth by being here and following this stupid city's rules - and he thinks about how nico is right here in front of him and how nico doesn't care about the fact that percy can't promise him anything. ( for once in his life, he's working on not making empty promises. ) he hates himself for it a little ( in the same way he'd hated hearing annabeth say his name with fear in it in tartarus ) but it doesn't stop him because people are counting on him, and annabeth isn't here.
she's not here.
nico is.
he does what he does best and he stops thinking. percy grabs nico by the collar of his shirt and drags him in for a kiss, still leaning back on one arm to support his weight. it's not a bright idea, not when he's in nothing but a white shirt and a pair of black boxers. ( if he were still thinking, he'd remind himself it's okay because there's a comforter between them. ) if nico doesn't pull away from him or brace a hand on percy's chest to put a halt to it, then he's letting go of his tight hold on his resolve. this time, he doesn't crush their mouths together ravenously. it's unhurried because he's not planning on running away. ]
no subject
nico neither lifts a hand nor tries to stop percy. he doesn't pull away but leans in, closer, wanting to presses himself against percy as his lips part. it's silent in the room save for the slow pressing of mouths and in nico's ears, it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. one of his hands reaches out to find percy's jaw, slides along it to curl fingers in the hair at percy's nape. there he holds, almost but not quite desperately. how long will this last, he wonders. before percy changes his mind, before annabeth comes back? how much time will he have with percy before it all comes crashing down as everything always does for him.
he can't let himself think about it much. not when percy's warm mouth is insistently pressed against his own. there's something different this time, at least. as if something in percy has changed and nico wants to explore it more.
eventually a quiet noise escapes him. a little needy and a little low. it's the sound of want. nico wants to pour himself over percy, feel the flame of desire burn through his veins. but that's too fast. keep it slow, he tells himself. keep it natural and let percy guide them however percy wants. ]
no subject
he leans in, reaches up and holds on. his touch sends jolts through percy's body. it's the same thrill he gets when he leaps without knowing where to land. in a city that can't offer him adventure, he wants to chase that rush. he releases nico's shirt in favor of trailing his hand down his side to his hip. he doesn't claw at him desperately this time like he's starving for any contact at all. but he does grasp at nico as if he needs something to hold onto. he's not sure what his own intentions are anymore, whether he means to keep him steady and at a comfortable distance or if he wants to put up zero resistance when it comes to nico leaning in. his hand slips ( it's no accident ) down to nico's thigh, then slides back up.
if percy's knuckles catch on the hem of nico's shirt and his palm grazes the bare skin of nico's stomach, or his hip, then he's not going to complain.
not when he's making sounds like that. his open desire encourages percy to keep going, to turn their soft press of lips into open-mouthed kissing. he's done holding himself back. maybe that's the ungodly hour of the night talking, but percy doesn't think twice about tilting his head to the side and trying to catch nico's bottom lip between his own. if the son of hades doesn't pull away for air first, then percy's gently sucking and grazing his teeth light as a feather against his lip.
he does pause after that, eyes open, just to look at nico and absorb the moment. only for a few seconds. ]
no subject
and then percy's hand is on his thigh, brushing warm and callused fingers against the fabric of his pj pants. his breath catches, breath hitching, and he wishes desperately that he had put on shorts instead of the flannel pants that had been within reach. if he'd gone with shorts, he'd be able to feel percy even more. he wants to feel every part of percy. wants to be so close that their bones blend and he can no longer tell himself apart from the son of the sea. then, maybe, nico would feel the completion in his soul that he's always sought.
slowly, though. slowly.
percy's hand moves again and this time, warm skin brushes against the coolness of nico's abdomen. the muscles of his stomach tense under the sensation and he shudders as another noise escapes him. percy has his lower lip caught and all he can do is dig fingers into the bedding at their side as he tries to grasp the enormity of the situation. only, that's hard to do with the blue light of percy's room reflecting off green eyes, making them look like the depths of the sea off the mediterranean coast.
he can't breathe. ]
Percy...
no subject
if nico keeps looking at him like that, and saying his name like percy's stolen all the air from his lungs, he's not sure what will happen next. ]
Yeah? [ he flashes a lopsided smile, equally as goofy as it is mischievous. this is a side of nico he's never seen before. not so reserved. his walls are still up in some places but they're slipping. it's hard to resist the temptation to keep knocking them down, especially once he recognizes the effect he has on nico. ] Too much?
[ or not enough? ]
no subject
and really, in nico's estimation, that doesn't seem like a bad thing. he's willing to give as much of himself to percy as percy wants because he never dreamed this would ever happen. he doubted the likelihood with percy always attached to annabeth's hip. and maybe he should feel a bit guilty about having percy this way when annabeth is gone, but he doesn't care. his mind is filled with the son of the sea and he wants those lips on him again. ]
No- No, I'm... [ he swallows, one hand reaching over to cup percy's cheek as nico gazes at him. without thinking, he licks his lips and misses the taste of percy's. ] Don't stop. Gods, please don't stop.
no subject
it seems silly now.
he glances down with nico's hand on his face, debating something, then throws back the blanket and scoots closer. right in front of him. his knee bumps into one of nico's, totally because he's trying to wedge his thigh between both of nico's. it's way more plausible and comfortable if nico lays back, but he's not really an it's impossible! kind of guy, so he tries anyway. there isn't a sliver of his comforter wedged between them now. ( who needs safety nets? ) it occurs to him that he's pressed flush against nico's hip and he's playing with fire here, especially when he's not unaffected by their kisses.
percy mirrors nico, cups the side of his face with his palm and strokes his cheek with his thumb. he's still in love with annabeth and he doubts anything in any universe can change that but this isn't meaningless to him. nico's feelings definitely aren't irrelevant to him. he leans in before he can say something stupid and pretends that the short hum that vibrates against nico's lips isn't coming from him. ]
no subject
and it's getting harder still with the way percy slides a knee between his thighs. nico descends back into the bedding with little prompting and finds his breath hitching more than he'd like it to. gods. how far will this go? should he say something? or would that be tempting fate? the gods knew just how much the both of them tended to do that every day.
in the back of his mind, the thought that this might be what percy does with annabeth curls like a small black shadow that he can't dispel. perhaps that will always be something between them, but nico reminds himself that even though percy undoubtedly loves annabeth more than life, that he, the son of hades, has somehow managed to make his way into percy's heart as well makes a swell of emotion rise in his chest. it feels as if it encapsulate him when percy's hand graces his cheek. it's so perfect that nico cannot help the small mewl that bubbles up against percy's mouth when their lips meet again. this time, nico wastes no time parting his lips and encouraging percy to do the same, the ball of his tongue stud almost clacking against his teeth. ]
no subject
he whimpers and percy swallows it, feels it creep down his spine in a rush of heat, conscious of how fast sating a curiosity ( and wanting to be comforted ) can change into hunger. you can handle this, he reminds himself. maybe he can't. maybe this is his undoing. he likes how nico feels underneath him a little too much, how he grants percy the intensity in their kiss that he's starting to need ( instead of just wanting it. ) he hopes the groan that pours out of him isn't as loud as it seems to him in the quiet of the apartment they all share.
some part of him doesn't care if it's deafening, if it's the only audible noise in the entire city while the rest of the world sleeps. the stud on nico's tongue is a stark reminder of who he's with ( as if he could simply forget ) when he brushes his tongue against nico's to taste him again. he doesn't pull away at the unfamiliar sensation of the stud this time. up until kissing nico, he never would have thought he was into piercings all that much or that they made a difference. it's actually sort of hot, or maybe that's the intrusive i wonder where else that stud would feel good that pops into the back of his mind. sooner rather than later ( because he has zero chill and less and less of a want to control himself ), he shifts his hips to try and get more comfortable and gets the friction he swears he isn't searching for with a roll of his hips.
he gasps into nico's mouth ( pull back, pull back, pull back ) and tries to give it his best passing effort that he isn't chasing after more than this, more than their tongues brushing together and being with him. ]
no subject
maybe he should be thinking about how very little is keeping their bodies from pressing together completely. maybe he should be thinking about how this is the bed percy shared with annabeth. maybe he should be thinking about how will is in the bedroom next door, and might even hear them. but he can't. not with the way percy's groan resonates in his ears and all the way into his bones. not with the way percy gasps so openly into his mouth. he doesn't care about anything other than the way the world seems to fade as if it was nothing more than the shadows he controls.
the gasp percy makes is echoed when friction burns need straight to his groin. he arches into the way percy is now slotted so wonderfully between his legs and with one hand lodging itself in percy's hair, he reaches back and up to the headboard with the other. seeking something, anything to ground him again because all his inhibitions are being washed away thanks to the sea's favored son.
at some point, though (and despite how much he hates the realization), nico has to pull away because breathing through his nose just isn't enough. his heart drums against his rib cage as if seeking to break free and he pauses only long enough to mewl for percy before arching up and chasing after percy's lips for another kiss.
all too easily, nico realizes, they've pushed this... thing between them further than is possible to come back from. and all too easily, he knows, they could end up taking it further still. what he wonders, though, is how willing percy might be. nico finds himself almost afraid to ask. ]
no subject
not now when nico's careful grasp on his guard continues to slip. maybe the shadows have taken that hostage along with his common sense. he's not asking questions after he's settled between nico's thighs, not when he can feel how he practically molds himself to percy's body. he arches his back, reaches for the headboard and percy's hair like he's going to sink into the mattress and fall away if he doesn't. is he supposed to feel guilty for how much he needs to be needed like that? he gives his support freely, pins nico between his hips and the sheets by rubbing against him again. it's slow and intentional. an unrestrained twist of his hips as his hand slides away from nico's face and down to his waist to hold him together. or to drag him closer against his own body, he's not even sure which one of them he's trying to help anymore.
he sucks down air when nico breaks their kiss, panting ( cool, that's flattering ), and leans back into the kiss without hesitation. he flicks nico's tongue stud with his own tongue experimentally, fascinated by it, wonders briefly if it gives him any kind of satisfaction or if it's solely for looks... and his partner. he doesn't have to worry about blushing in this lighting at least.
percy feels like he's overheating. he's not pulling away from the kiss so much as he's pressing his lips to nico's reassuringly a couple times, right before his hand slides from his waist to the bed in order to support his weight. that, and he's peeling his shirt off over his head and tossing it wherever it happens to land. it sobers him up more than he means for it to and he swallows hard in the faint blue-tinted darkness. like it's only occurring to him now that he's thrown his shirt somewhere that he's in nothing but boxers and he knows nico can feel exactly how turned-on he is. his arm trembles, defying his brief restraint, but he wets his lips and tells his body to shut up. ]
Is this.. okay? [ self-explanatory, maybe, but this is new for him. ]
no subject
it's what he's dreamed about since he was old enough to understand his own body. a dream he never thought would ever be fulfilled and often left him with such an intense longing that even the cold of the underworld or the torture of tartarus seemed like nothing in comparison. he'd resigned himself to never having this, and yet... here he is, gazing up at percy with undisguised need and want. nico is flushed with both arousal and anticipation, hoping this will go exactly where it seems to be going.
( and all the while, part of him—that part that is the child of hades, forever holding onto grudges and bitterness and pain—wishes this had happened sooner. that he could've given his very first experience to percy. that this could be something that percy might have alone. but it's too late for that and too late for regret, so he'll cleave to this moment now and any moment he might get hereafter. )
not to be outdone, nico pushes his body up enough to begin tugging up his own shirt. it takes a bit of maneuvering, but soon enough it follows percy's to somewhere on the floor. visible now is how nico has grown. no longer just the scrawny boy percy met in maine but a lithe, strong demigod in his own right. not that nico finds himself all that appealing, at least not in comparison to the way undulating blue light lingers on the muscles of percy's bare chest. but apparently he's enough for percy and that alone sends a shiver through him. ]
Percy... [ his eyes go lidded for half a moment and then he looks up at the son of poseidon. all heat and lust and desperate need. ] Please. I want you.
no subject
he gives nico the room he needs to mirror him and shed his own shirt by sinking back onto his knees and sitting up, kneeling between nico's legs. his eyes roam greedily over the skin that's revealed to him. percy's palm isn't far behind. he trails it up nico's stomach to his chest, ghosts his fingers over nico's camp beads ( if he's still wearing them ) and lets it glide back down. he's firm under percy's hand ( and sexy, that's the word ) in a way that annabeth isn't. it's different but it's not less arousing.
his mouth is as dry as sandpaper when he meets nico's gaze and processes what he's saying. ]
Um, yeah. [ very eloquent, this guy. he crawls back over nico, settles back on top of him because he's not ready to ditch the one slip of fabric he has on, regardless of how little it's concealing with the front of his boxers tenting like they are. not that it isn't alluring with their bare chests touching and not that he doesn't want nico just as much but he's not ready for everything all at once. that nervous energy is hanging around him again, felt even in how he kisses nico. ]
I can— [ why is this so embarrassing? ] I can take care of you if you want. Or we can keep doing this? [ he suggests with another intentional grind of his hips. it's not enough, not nearly, he wants more and it's driving him crazy too but.. ] I've just. I've never gone all the way before.
no subject
he's still incredibly turned on, of course. even more so now that percy's warm hands are gliding along his torso, jostling the camp beads around his throat. his breath hitches and he has to swallow hard because he can feel his nipples tighten and the look percy gives him makes him tremble again. he wonders vaguely how he looks in percy's eyes and what he's thinking, but for as much as he might tease percy about having kelp for brains or the like, percy is as complicated as they come. he has depth like the ocean from whence his power comes and nico will never not be astonished by what he sees in percy's eyes.
percy might not think he's enough, that he's just some regular guy who's had to carry more weight than a person should ever rightly be burdened with, but nico knows what that weight feels like and he wants to help percy carry it. so, dragging his fingers out of percy's hair, he allows hilt-callused fingers trail along percy's jaw. across percy's lips as he licks his own. he rolls his hips up against percy's and then slowly shakes his head.
if this is percy's first time... well, shouldn't it be with someone he loves? isn't that what percy has always wanted? nico remembers the sunny day in camp when percy had been so elated by the acceptance annabeth had given him to the idea of going together to new rome. and though the memory makes him feel like his heart is being squeezed, nico can't bring himself to ruin anything like that between percy and annabeth. they truly do belong together and if he can just be a part of percy's heart while she dominates the rest, he would be content with that.
carefully, and if percy allows it, nico flexes his thighs, intending to guide percy onto his back. if percy's comfortable with it, he'll settle atop percy's lap and lean over him, holding his gaze. he knows just how much pressure has been placed on percy's shoulders through the years. part of that had been his fault in expecting a thirteen-year-old to protect his sister as if percy were someone to set on a pedestal. but he knows what it's like to bear the scars of tartarus, knows that being a demigod means being thrust into situations you can't control, can't choose. in this case, he wants percy to have the chance to decide for himself. ]
Or... I can take care of you. [ his voice is far more sturdy than he'd expected, especially considering how breathless percy has made him. ] What do you want?
no subject
get it together, jackson. ]
No, [ he says with perfect clarity, attention back on nico. ] I'm not using you. I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me just because I'm hard. [ yes, he knows there's more to it than that for nico but it doesn't sit right with him, like somehow because he's more experienced it's okay for him to get percy off but not the other way around.
his stare is strange as if the question catches him off guard. what does he want? that's a thing? he sighs, wondering how it is that nico does that. he cuts through everything else and gets right to the point. he doesn't ramble on or waste his words and he's always been that way. so sure of his choice even in the midst of chaos. he knows what he wants, it's easy for him to answer that. percy, not so much. ]
I don't know. [ helpful! ] I don't want it to be one-sided. I want us both to enjoy this, or I don't want anything. [ so many people have taken things from nico. bianca took his hope for a family, hades took away his hope for learning about his past, percy took him for granted for a long time, and then there's cupid, taking his chance to decide for himself how he wants to accept himself. he doesn't want to add to that. he doesn't want to keep pushing and pulling because nico can bend without breaking.
he brushes his fingers across nico's waistband, contemplating dropping his palm and covering his erection with it. he's strongly considering it, but he hesitates. percy wants to hear what he has to say because he usually has a reasonable solution for all parties. he's good at that. ]
no subject
it's flattering, of course. and a little bit dorky the way percy's immediate thought is that nico is willing to let himself be used for percy's sake. nico does have a record of doing that, doing what he thinks is the right or necessary thing to do in order to keep percy jackson alive ( because nico always thought that losing him, even if he might never truly have him would be just as earth shattering as losing bianca had been. ) however, that's not the case here. and nico's lips quirk because it's the way percy obviously cares for him, worries even, and nico finds himself smiling just a fraction. all affectionate and just a little bit wry. it's less about just getting percy off ( though he'd certainly enjoy that and would likely get off at the same time ) and more about giving percy a choice when he knows how often choices are taken from the son of poseidon. it's like how many choices have been stolen from nico and though sometimes that makes nico feel bitter and resentful, he's not going to let his own feelings get in the way of percy being able to decide for himself.
tilting his hips into the touch at his waistband and wanting nothing more than to shed the last bit of separation between them, nico only stalls enough to cup percy's cheek and nip at that lip that's been chewed on. ]
Sometimes... [ there's clear affection in his voice, but also a bit of that wry exasperation. ] What I meant was if you're really okay with this, with it being me and not, you know, Annabeth, then I'll show you what we'll do.
[ it's an out for percy, to prevent any later regrets. as much as nico wants to feel percy inside him, feel the son of the sea surging into him like the tide, he wants to make sure there will be no way percy will regret what they might do. he wants this to be for real. and not just because they're both horny.
and nico is horny. he wants nothing more than to guide percy inside him, show him how good this can feel, how incredibly groundbreaking an experience it can be. and to give just a hint of what might be coming if percy does want to continue, nico drags his palms down percy's chest before slowly cupping him through his boxers and squeezing. ]
no subject
so maybe nico's holding back but percy's slightly lost to pleasure. he knows he needs to listen. he needs to think. but if he adjusts his hips enough, if he tugs nico forward an inch or two, then their bodes will slot together in just the right way that nico's sitting directly on top of percy's dick. the fabric's annoying, but it doesn't seem to stop him from arching up and rubbing himself against the seat of nico's pajama pants. he should probably let go of his waist, he probably shouldn't be using his grasp to push nico down on him. that's when his hand drifts and nico leans into it and pinches percy's lip with his teeth.
it hurts but it doesn't. the nip gets his attention, sort of, because there are words happening. words regarding whether he's okay with his first time being with nico instead of annabeth and it's like he's reached the surface for a moment. he's not. he's not okay with it going farther than this, not yet, because he's never imagined his first time to be with a guy, let alone nico. he still hasn't said anything ( he can't find the words ) and nico's waiting on him, albeit not patiently. his touch sears a path down percy's torso to the front of his boxers and he grunts before he can clamp his teeth down on the noise. his fingers hook in nico's waistband and he curses in greek, slides his hand to the sheets because he is listening.
he's probably going to come in his boxers, but he's listening. ]
I- [ can't breathe? ] I don't want this to stop. [ that's not an answer, is it? wait. is it? ]
You want me to be honest with you? I don't know what I'm doing. I never thought we'd be here, but we are. The scary thing is that I really like it. I want to keep touching you. I want to kiss you again. In case you missed it, I'm very, very into this, but I don't know if I'm doing it for the right reasons. [ he groans, less sexually charged and more out of frustration. ] I hate that I'm saying this, but I should know that before we... [ well, you know. he gestures vaguely, apparently too flustered to say sex out loud, never mind that they're half-naked already. ] Shouldn't I?
no subject
when he regains a bit of himself again, one hand still on percy's boxers while the other settles on percy's bare chest, he sucks in air. his heart feels like a constant beating drum, slamming into his rib cage, and the way percy curses in words they both know forces nico to bite down on his lip to withhold a curse of his own. he lifts himself just a fraction, enough so that when percy's fingers hook into his waistband, it shifts down just enough to make the 'v' of his slim hips even more pronounced.
and then percy is talking. rambling like he does when he's overcome with emotion. nico's dark eyes find percy's, hold his gaze as percy tries to talk his way around how he feels. nico doesn't speak, still biting his own lip because part of him is afraid of what he'll hear, but another part of him needs to know.
i don't want this to stop, percy says and nico knows exactly what he means. he doesn't want this to stop either. if it does, he's not sure what state his heart will be in. it's one thing to experience outright rejection. nico's heart has long since hardened itself in preparation for that. it would've been so much easier if they'd never started this, never let it get this far, because then nico would never know what it feels like to have percy hard and needy beneath him, just as wanting as he is. so he hopes, gods he hopes and tries not to hold his breath.
i don't know if i'm doing this for the right reasons.
it doesn't actually hurt when percy puts it like that. and the blow, as gentle as it is, is softened even more by the way percy admits without hesitation just how much he wants this, wants to kiss him, wants to feel him. nico once more thrills in that knowledge. it's how he's felt about percy for so long and even getting that in return is so incredibly mindblowing that nico whimpers a little.
now, nico's hands move again. sliding over taunt panes of percy's skin, tracing firm muscles with callused fingers. it's natural to question things like this. he doesn't even begrudge percy for being uncertain. in some ways, part of nico is too. ]
Yeah. You should know. We- We can even stop if that's better.
[ he swallows because it feels like his throat is closing up, like earth and stone are caught there, and though he can still breathe, he's torn. he doesn't want to stop, but if that's what percy needs...
his eyes still haven't left percy's and he subconsciously licks his lips. ]
Tell me. [ his voice is almost impossibly soft. ] Why do you think you're doing this?
no subject
he can feel the pre-cum pooling at the head of his cock, wetting a spot on the front of his boxers. percy squirms under nico and drops his gaze to the prominent v of his hips. he's staring. how is nico this hot? how is this fair? he knows all he has to do is say the word and nico's willing to be his for tonight, willing to go that extra step and teach him what sex is really like. his fingers flex in the sheets once they slide away and it's a miracle he doesn't say what he's thinking out loud. he doesn't know anything about sucking cock, but there's a moment where he thinks about how easy it'd be to pull nico forward, to tug the front of his pants down and try. it's such a filthy thought for him that he has to physically bind himself not to find out if he's that impulsive.
the son of hades whimpers, smooths his hands over his chest again, and percy thinks stop. stop doing that. because he can't. he doesn't know how. ]
I just need to stop touching you for a minute. [ yeah, that's going to help. he crosses his arms behind his head, pins his own arms in place because it's the only thing that stops him from reaching out. now that he knows what being with nico feels like, he can't pretend that he's not interested. he can't tell himself it's a weird situation based on circumstance and it'll pass. percy jackson wants nico di angelo, now he knows for sure. is it only the physical aspects? he wants to say yes, needs to, but there's a feeling he gets in his gut that says that's a lie. if that's true, that he's only into nico for these sensations, they would have gotten it over with already. it wouldn't mean anything, and he wouldn't feel as guilty.
he cares about nico, always has, but the extent of that concern is transforming, expanding. until now, he hasn't had to ask himself what it means. in fact, he's avoided it like the plague. nico's with will. and until they'd kissed again, it'd been easy to try and separate himself from it and focus on everything he feels regarding annabeth's departure. sparring with clarisse, running until he can't anymore, trying to exert himself physically so that there's nothing left mentally or emotionally. except at the end of the day, he still misses annabeth, and nico's still one of the only people there for him.
nico wets his lips and asks him a question, and percy worries if he answers him, he's going to lose this. think first, percy, think. ]
Because you're here. [ he says thoughtlessly, ignoring his own advice. he doesn't mean it quite like it comes across, like it's only because nico's on top of him, waiting in the wings. as if anyone will do. anyone that pursues him and kisses him and sits on top of his lap in annabeth's absence. he unfolds one arm even though it's dangerous for him, catches nico's wrist before he can shadow travel out of the room due to that really crappy explanation.
percy guides nico's hand to his heart, not really thinking about the placement on that level so much as he wants nico to feel under his fingertips what he's doing to him. ]
I've given you practically every reason not to be near me over the years and you haven't left my side. You've been here for me since the moment we got into this city. [ yeah, percy's not dumb. he knows there may be ulterior motives there, that in light of being here, a spark has been reignited in nico's heart - hope, and he's guilty of fanning that flame, of needing it to some degree because he'd felt unworthy of it. ]
If we do this, I want it to mean something. I want to be sure. I don't want it to be because of me, because I need to feel like I'm worth something to someone. [ losing annabeth is messing with his head. not talking out with her, not knowing what she feels, what she thinks, it's tearing him apart. ] Sorry, that's.. not your mess. I mean that I want it to be because we want to be with each other that way. I don't want to question it later. I don't want anything else clouding my judgment. Does that make sense?
[ he's a romantic at heart. he wants his first time, be it with annabeth or nico ( or someone else ), to be perfect. ]
no subject
he has to releases a slow breath, try to regain his senses again when percy responds. the first thing percy says does make him flinch, makes bitterness and betrayal well up in his chest and hurt shows in his eyes. but the hand at his wrist restrains him and he realizes percy has more to say. his palm is placed against percy's heart where nico can feel percy's rib cage vibrate against the beating of his heart. he doesn't even bother to hide the way he gasps in response, stares at percy with wide eyes.
does it mean what he thinks it means? nico isn't sure. most of the time, he has a good measure of percy's intentions. it's hard not to when percy is simple that way. some aspects of him will never change. but this... nico trembles as his mouth opens and closes. he doesn't want to voice out loud the three words that have been hanging on his tongue, so he bites his lip again, waiting for percy to continue. when he does, nico isn't disappointed.
in a way, percy's insistence that this be... special has nico coloring but also thinking about how much it endears him to percy. the son of poseidon has come to a place that he cares enough to want this first time to be important. there's no way nico can fault him for that.
once more, the wry smile forms on his lips and he leans forward enough to press his forehead against percy's. he still holds the other boy's gaze and his fingers traipse their way down to percy's waistband. they pluck at the fabric, but don't pull down the cloth just yet. ]
I understand. I want it to mean something too. You are... Gods, Percy, you're the person I've always wanted to do this with. I stayed by your side because- Because the thought of not being near you is just-
[ he gives his head a rapid shake. ]
But... I'm willing to wait. If that's what you'd prefer. I've waited a long time, it won't hurt to wait a little longer.
no subject
maybe that's wrong.
maybe he is screwing with nico's head, leading him on, giving him hope with his hand over percy's heart. they don't have a future. nico is with the son of apollo and he's happy, and percy is with the daughter of athena, also happy. or will be, some day, when this is all over.
where can this possibly go between them? what's he even doing besides holding a shovel and burying them both deeper and deeper in this hole? it can't go anywhere. it never will. but nico's staring at him with those same dark eyes that have demanded a promise from him in the past ( he's done the same to nico - twice, actually ), and he can't seem to find the strength to pry his hand away.
somewhere aphrodite and cupid are high-fiving and drinking mojitos. percy hates them.
nico leans forward and bumps their foreheads together and it's such a small affectionate gesture that it makes his chest feel tight. how does he know percy needs that from him in that moment? it's likely he needs the contact just as much. it's funny though, to imagine nico as the kind of person that needs anything from anyone. that's an old perception, he reminds himself, and it's only a part of who the son of hades is. he can go it alone, that doesn't mean that he wants to. percy owes it to nico not to hide from him and so he doesn't look away, doesn't glance down to follow the path nico's fingers are taking. he remains steady, touches their noses together, but doesn't kiss him. if not kissing and not touching is their way out of the hole, then percy feels himself slipping, unable to find purchase on the walls as long as nico's playing with his boxers.
don't lean into him, don't move. the instructions are quite simple to follow once he's caught off guard by what's being confessed to him. it's his turn to try on the wide-eyed look. he knows that nico has feelings for him and that it's been a winding and confusing journey and he's had to find his footing on his own. he knows that nico must have struggled endlessly, wanting to be near percy but also not wanting to be anywhere near him, all the while hoping that maybe, some day, under the right circumstances that he might reciprocate. he knows because it's how he'd felt for annabeth, waiting, too uncertain of his own feelings to ever make a move. never knowing if he'd live through the next day, let alone to see the prophecy play out. hearing that he's the person nico's always wanted to be with intimately just makes his ears turn red. he has to say something with nico shaking his head like that. ]
Hey. I told you already. I'm not going anywhere. [ if he needs reminding, so be it. looking at nico, he does his best imitation of a guy that has his head together. ] You were pretty good at cards once, right? Play these ones right and maybe it won't be that long.
[ feel free to smack him in the head with a pillow any time, nico. ]
no subject
if he's getting led on, nico no longer cares. intellectually, he already knows that this can't last. that it'll never be what he really wants. he's long since accepted that, before they even kissed. but nico is selfish, he knows he is deep down, and he wants to experience this for as long as it's possible. if he can have one scrap of percy, maybe even one small part of his heart, nico will be satisfied. it would be more than he'd ever expected.
and it feels good like this, even if they're no moving in the same desperate way they had moments ago. just with his forehead pressed to percy's, their breaths mingling as they breathe and speak. his fingers continue their slow traipsing along the band of percy's boxers and he feels the smallest smile form on his lips.
until percy says that.
the first reaction is a groan and not one of pleasure. it's followed by a very visible roll of his eyes and he certainly is tempted to smack the son of poseidon with a pillow. he only manages to abstain by sitting up. his eyes go darker skill and the annoyed frown soon shifts into something much more lascivious. if percy wants to play that way, well... nico is more than game. ]
I still am, you know.
[ his voice is a low murmur full of danger and promise and he flattens his palms against percy's abdomen, slides them against bare skin and under percy's body to grab handfuls of percy's cheeks. his own body rolls against percy's again. ]
And I don't think it would take much for me to get you to fold, Percy.
no subject
he's trying to cut through the sexual tension between them because nico's still perched on him and his fingers are traveling and he really. just. can't deal with that. maybe if he kills the mood, it'll be easier. it's a great plan! a perfect strategy and he actually believes it's having the desired effect. nico looks exasperated ( why are you this way, percy? ) and he grins sheepishly, but he's not that sorry.
scratch that. he's feeling progressively more sorry when he catches the change in nico's eyes and his voice, the charge in the atmosphere. he tries to backpedal, something like: ] How could you forget?
[ but then nico's palms are on his skin and he inhales sharply in surprise. there's relief too. it's as if nico's ignited a fire that won't be quelled. his touch isn't void of heat like the underworld, but to percy he runs a little cooler in comparison and the contrast is nice since he feels like he's overheating. it's such a sudden and drastic change, going from bumping foreheads to nico grabbing his ass and grinding against him. he has zero guard. his mouth opens when he moans and his expression morphs - frowning, but not. struggling to sit still. he's overwhelmed by the pleasure and it's overriding the need to know where they stand. there's no filtering the way his eyes darken, or how his breathless honesty comes across. his good intentions are corroding.
percy can't keep his hands off of nico. they're going in circles where he relents and returns like the tide. he glides his palms up nico's sides, thumbs spread out across his stomach. his sea green eyes likely look black in this light but he's following every inch his fingertips map out with his gaze. ]
I'd let you win. [ let him? he's already winning. if this is a game, everything's going in his favor. it's with that realization that percy drags his hand south, down his stomach, straight to the front of his pajama pants. he's still nervous but he's less afraid of messing up, more willing to learn as he goes. he knows what feels good to him, so he's going with something like that. he rubs his palm along the length of nico's bulge and squeezes him lightly as he he traces his fingers and thumb back up, cupping him. percy's not above grinding against the back of his hand as he touches nico either, not this far along. ] I don't care. I'd let you.
forever and a day later
but more than all that, it's the honesty with which percy reacts. the way he responds to nico and the way he holds no sound back. percy seems to have forgotten that they're not alone in the apartment and nico finds that so-fucking-hot because that means he's gotten inside percy's brain in such a way to ensure complete distraction. it's all him, the son of hades, and he has percy wrapped around his fingers.
when will he have an opportunity like this again? when will nico get the chance to have percy like this? he tries not to think about what will come later, what kind of awkwardness or discussions might arise. right now, all nico wants is to get him and percy off.
so he grinds himself against percy's palm with a noise not unlike a purr and leans forward again to lick a stripe along percy's collarbone. ]
Good. Because I want you, Percy Jackson.
[ he sucks a bruise into percy's skin, keeping the pace of their rolling hips and then pulls away again. ]
Where's your lube?
no subject
he can't make noises like that ( ones that go straight to his dick ) and he can't grind against him because he can feel the friction even with his hand in the way. he throws his head back when nico licks his collarbone because it's too good. it's like a dream. it doesn't feel real at all. like this is something that's happening between them in reality. maybe that's what sex is like in the dark of a bedroom, maybe it's supposed to feel like a dirty secret. ( and it does feel dirty in a way, knowing will's in the next bedroom, knowing annabeth is probably waiting for him at home because even if people at home aren't supposed to know they're missing, annabeth would. ) he's already more than a little delirious when nico tells him he wants him and calls him by his full name. ]
I'm not- [ yours? is that what he wants to say? is that what he means anymore? he jerks his hips and cries out when nico marks him. he knows without looking that it's bright red, it might even be purple later. that bruise is wrong, but it just feeds into that insecurity in his head. yes, he pushed annabeth away. yes, he betrayed her. yes, he's the reason why she didn't want to be near him, and yet, nico does. that's the one resonating detail. he doesn't blame annabeth ( he hates himself ) but if nico wants him, then at least somebody still thinks he's worthy of something. ] I'm not going to make it that far, Nico.
[ he feels his stomach tighten, his thighs tremble from the force of trying to hold back. nico stops rolling against him and he grunts in frustration, squinting at him in confusion. ]
It's in the dresser, I think, [ he knows it is because that's where he keeps a fleshlight. ] but if you touch me, I'm going to cum. I might even if you don't. I'm too close.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)