[ of course he's that close. he's older (physically, or he used to be ), he's been in a relationship longer, and whatever that's supposed to mean basically amounts to nothing here. percy feels starved for physical contact and it's a small hunger that's been getting bigger and bigger from the second he told annabeth what happened. what started as one mistake has turned into a series of bad decisions; what may have never happened again keeps happening because annabeth's gone.
he has to be intimate with someone. has to hold hands, has to touch someone. he has to do something if he wants to stay in eudio and have his wish granted. it doesn't have to be nico, and yet, percy's drawn to him. his persistence. those dark eyes. he's trying to look into them now because nico's talking about making percy watch him and that idea blooms to life in his mind. it's all he can think about, which is bad. thinking about nico touching himself again. yeah, again, because this isn't the first time he's seen nico like this.
he still remembers walking in on him.
the difference here is that he can stare without getting a nosebleed by smacking his face into the door frame. logic tells him to look away. percy tells logic to go to tartarus because there's a real naked person in front of him and not far away on a screen. then nico's on top of him again with his dick out, rubbing lube onto his fingers, and talking so dirty that percy whines. the thought of nico stroking his dick or stretching himself open with his fingers coupled with the prospect of coming in his mouth is way too much. ]
You're putting a lot of faith in my terrible impulse control. [ the guy with the kneejerk reaction to give his word isn't about to right now. ] I can try? No promises.
[ he brushes his thumb over nico's bow and arrow tattoo and tries not to think of bianca. he's trying to do a lot of things at once. he inhales slowly to measure his breathing, to attempt to calm down a little. it's not really working, but it's worth a shot. percy covers nico's hand with his own ( the one with lube on it ) and holds his gaze steadily. whatever timidness or awkwardness he has is masked by how turned on he is. he guides nico's hand lower, not necessarily pushing him but encouraging him. ]
Show me. I want to watch you. I've wanted to for awhile. [ wow, good job. he has been watching nico, stealing glances, here and there. trying not to be obvious. wondering if this is just him, if nico's thinks percy is someone he wants because he's wanted him for so long that he has to see it through. he's been wondering since the kiss in his bedroom, if it's going to happen again. when. not fantasizing exactly, but it's a small apartment, and their lives are relatively simple here. there's not a lot else to think about in a city that wants its citizens to touch each other. with that admission ( which nico is free to interpret however he wants ), percy flashes his best disarming smile. ] Show me what you like.
the way percy says it, breathless and holding his gaze, steals away his breath. since this started, nico's known that percy must want him on some level. maybe not emotionally, but certainly physically. percy is attracted to him and it's been a realization that nico repeats over and over in his mind because he never would've thought it was possible. in his mind, percy has always been 100% straight as a stick and seeing that this is blatantly false to such enormous proportions goes straight to nico's head. and to his dick.
how long, he wonders. how long is awhile? since that first kiss? since percy walked in on him? gods, now he's wondering just how long percy had stood there watching him. he wonders what percy might think if he'd known nico was imagining him at that moment.
he doesn't have to imagine now. percy's hands are on his, slowly lowering to his cock and nico has to bite a lip to withhold sound. it doesn't work and soon a whine similar to percy's is muffled behind his lips. he entwines his slick fingers with percy's and positively gasps when their hands reach his dick. the next sound he makes is caused by the shuddering breath he inhales as he watches percy through lidded eyes. ]
Like this. [ he guides both their hands around his erection with percy's hands underneath his own. he wants percy to feel the way he throbs for him, to feel how hard he is. against his flushed cheeks, his dark lashes flutter. the enormity of it all is almost too much to take. percy jackson's hand is on his cock and it feels amazing. ] I like it when I'm touched.
[ and he guides percy's hand in the first upward stroke. percy's hand is rough from handling weapons for so long, but it doesn't matter. it's perfect. ]
[ want doesn't quite do what percy feels justice. it's driving him crazy and it's as if he's a few years younger again and he can't keep his hands off of himself. no matter what he does, his mind wanders. where that second kiss could have gone if he hadn't stopped it. but even before then, he'd been curious. maybe not with lust leading it, but still. he's a young guy with access to the internet and that led to research that ( looking back on now ) wasn't research at all.
percy jackson is attracted to nico di angelo, and it is what it is.
he is who he is and if he's bisexual, then so be it.
if nico asked him his questions now, he'd answer, like this. he can't think about anything else outside of his bedroom. nico's on top of him, completely naked, and it's certainly different than a girl without any clothes on. sharp edges instead of curves. his scars go hand-in-hand with percy's. it's intimidating, sure, seeing how hard nico's dick is - for him - and knowing what he expects of him, but that's why he's letting nico guide him. he wants to make him feel good. he doesn't want to screw this up by being awful at it.
nico's watching him, gasping, and maybe he's not so terrible. he's torn between wanting to watch nico's reactions, how he shudders, and glancing down at their hands. nico's fingers are wet on top of his and his aren't slick enough, it doesn't distract him from how turned on nico is because of percy. his hand slides down and he's not physically getting anything out of it but he still hums. a deep mmh as nico continues to talk to him and throbs in his palm. it affects him visually and mentally, and he'd be lying if he said that his partner's pleasure wasn't more important to him than his own, anyway. he guides percy and while he's doing that, percy reaches for the bottle of lube, then uncaps it with his other hand. this may not happen again. they may not get another chance at this and percy wants to do it right, which means when he gets to tip of nico's dick, he lets him go. he's not stopping. he's squeezing a little more lube onto his own fingers and rubbing it around, warming it up on his skin and gazing up at nico as he does it. ]
Yeah? You want my hands on you? [ far be it for percy to deny him that. he curls his fingers around nico's length again, resuming where he left off by stroking down, then turning his wrist to glide back up. it's slow. partially because he's trying to find a steady pace but also because it's to tease nico as much as he's torturing himself. he has instructions to watch. he plans to follow them, no matter how uncomfortably hard he is. he abandons the bottle of lube at his side in the sheets in order to reach for nico's hip, only he keeps his hand traveling around him. he doesn't stop until his palm's on nico's ass, cupping one of his cheeks. he has to lean forward a little but that's okay. ] How many times have you thought about this?
[ about them, about his hands on nico, about having sex with percy. he means all of it. he doesn't care how needy that sounds, how obvious it is that he wants to know the truth. he speeds up his ministrations, less concerned with how into this he is, like if he drives nico wild enough, he'll answer anything, too. ]
[ how many times has he thought about this? nico isn't sure he can answer that question. especially not once percy's fingers wrap around his dick while his other hand settles on nico's ass. more. his mind whispers. yes, please because the truth is, nico's through about this since he hit puberty. he's thought about this since his body was developed enough to understand what lust can do. the desire has resonated in his bones since the night of his very first wet dream, has settled in his brain since the moment he could look at percy's lips and think to himself how much he's wanted them pressed against his own.
but for just about the same amount of time, nico knew it would never be a possibility. he knew that percy would always be devoted to annabeth and he knew that between betrayal and distrust, his own fear of his sexuality and more, getting close to percy was practically impossible. he's dreamt of moments like this far more than he can count, but always with the belief it would never happen. he's always thought it would forever be a shameful, unspoken need.
it's happening now and it's still hard to believe. the way percy looks at him, eyes dark in the low light of the room and darker still due to lust. percy's eyes on his body are like hot trails that he wishes would leave marks because when it all ends, he wants proof that it happened. he wants to make sure that this is not just something happening in the dark spaces of his head and that he won't wake up in the morning with the need to explain to will why the sheets are wet. ( how embarrassing would that be? ) ]
Yes, I want your hands on me. [ ( all over, everywhere ) and he rocks his hips into percy's hand. as the son of poseidon sits up, draws closer, his hands find purchase in percy's hair and he leans closer too, seeking out percy's mouth with his own. if he can get close enough, he breathe against percy's lips, mewl for him, card his fingers through dark strands before answering. ]
I've thought about it so much- Gods, Percy... [ it's another whine, a plea for more. ] I've thought about it so many times...
[ his voice is interrupted frequently by the gasps that escape him when percy's hand twists around his cock, the pace so teasing and much too slow. he needs more, feels the desire ringing in his bones again, like it has so many times. only this time, he's not alone with his hand. he's not by himself, without anyone to touch him. he's not hidden away with the belief that this could only be a dream. ]
I've wanted so much more. I want- I've wanted to feel you inside me.
[ what nico's saying and how he looks rocking into percy's hand coaxes a part of him out that he hasn't had to deal with very often. beneath the need to see what the next touch does, or to hear more about nico's fantasies, he wants to give in to everything. he wants to let go of his reservations and find out if fantasy is as great as the reality. and he doesn't care if that means being surrounded in darkness and being unable to get out. when nico runs his fingers through his hair and kisses him, he realizes there isn't a fiber in his body that wants to escape. when did that happen? when did he start wanting nico like this? since the first kiss? after?
his whine is deafening in percy's ears, similar to his confessions.
now he doesn't have to stand in a doorway, wondering what nico looks like without his many layers on. he doesn't have to watch from a distance. he can look for as long as he wants without having to find an excuse to look away. he gets to be the one with his hand around nico's dick drawing these reactions out of him and he gets to be the one on his mind and in front of him. it does more for his confidence than he'll admit. he's not really a possessive guy because he's always been sure of the people around him and in his life, but there's a rush of it that shoots through him when nico says he's wanted percy inside of him.
that train of thought makes it difficult to remember that he's afraid of anything. it's his reckless side.
he kisses nico again, hard on the mouth, like he wants to consume every gasping secret nico has. it doesn't linger, doesn't transform into a deeper kiss because percy refuses to shut his eyes or take his gaze off of nico. ]
When I walked in on you that time, who were you thinking about? [ it's not a desperate question and as if to prove that he's not stopping, regardless of what the answer may be, he stops experimenting. stops teasing nico with slow, questioning strokes. he twists his wrist for a better angle now that they're sitting up and focuses on his tip - it's a little different, considering nico isn't circumcised like percy is, but not by that much. ] I was standing there long enough for it to be weird. I wanted to watch you.
[ as if to serve as proof of those words, he drops his gaze between them, close as they are, to watch how his fingers glide down. how the pad of his thumb's pressed against the underside of nico's dick while his other fingers curl around him. he bites his own bottom lip to keep himself quiet, but he can't keep his hips down, and he's obviously terrible at following instructions. what self-control?
he pulls his hand away from nico's ass to tug his boxers down as far as he can without sacrificing too much contact. it takes some maneuvering ( and he risks a few seconds stalling his ministrations ) to yank them down to his thighs. if he's embarrassed by how turned on he is, how his cock is arching, or how nico's probably looking at him, he does a good job at keeping that close to his chest. they're close enough together that percy thinks putting his thumb around his own erection and pressing nico's against his with his fingers just might work. he's already halfway towards accomplishing that when he hesitates, meeting nico's eyes. ]
[ by the time percy's really getting into stroking his cock, nico is all but writhing in his lap. once more, his head tilts back to expose his throat and when he swallows, his adam's apple bobs. he can't help it. percy has this much affect on him and nico can feel himself slowly going mad as a result.
normally, he's so reserved, prone to keeping his expressions and emotions locked away where only the shadows might find them. normally, only anger and bitterness are enough to evoke anything out of him. but now, percy has him giving up his secrets with a twist of his wrist, with a squeeze of his hand, with the press of his thumb. how can he expect to keep anything from the son of poseidon when percy now has so much control over him. and does percy even realize it? how easily it would be for percy to have him coming apart at the seams, his soul laid bare? that part of him hasn't seen daylight since he'd grasped the soul of bryce lawrence and ripped the life out of him before sending the other demigod to the darkest parts of the underworld. only now it's not hate and anger and pain and suffering driving him, it's need and desire and above all, love.
he can't let percy know that. he can't let percy see into his heart like that. but if percy asked...
it's almost frightening, but in some ways, that just intensifies everything. makes the sensation of percy's thumb on his tip seem better than nectar on his lips. makes the way percy's palm drags against his foreskin feel more encapsulating than the comfort of the shadows. makes the way feeling the heat of percy's skin feel hotter than a fire. and when percy asks him that first question, a full body tremble passes through him followed by an abrupt gasp. ]
Di immortales-!
[ not quite shouted. he has the presence of mind to keep his voice down a little, but it's a sign that both percy's words and his touch are having their desired affect.
( i wanted to watch you ) hearing that draws an italian plea from nico's lips. ] I- It was you. It's pretty much always you...
[ not entirely the truth. nowadays, it's also will and loki and a few other people he's met in eudio. but before he got close to the son of apollo, it had most certainly always been percy.
and then percy is shifting under him, pulling away and yet another italian plea, this time more desperate, escapes him. once percy is fully undressed, though, it's worth it. because his eyes meet percy's and he can tell without looking what percy has in mind. to feel percy's arousal against his own... the thought is mindblowing and he most certainly wants it. ]
Percy-! Un-mmpf. [ one of the most undignified noises he's ever made, but by this point, he's to far along to care. ] Y-yeah. Yeah.
[ whether it's still true now or not, hearing that it’s always him works like a charm. the admission hits him like a brick to the face. it isn’t painful but it’s so sudden that he can’t conceal how it affects him. with it comes an ache so intense that he moans, brows drawn in, too lured in now to turn back. nico’s speaking italian and percy has no idea what he’s saying, other than the first cry, and if any of it’s more than nonsensical rambling. his tone doesn’t leave much to question though, because it sounds like he’s begging, like he wants more. and just like that, there’s nothing he wants more than to be the one to satisfy nico. to give him exactly what he wants, which is probably about as hazardous as percy asking him questions to sate his curiosity when nico’s as stripped bare as he is.
he shuts his eyes when their dicks finally do touch because the relief is too sweet to try and fight. it’s short-lived. because- ]
Ah- gods, that's amazing. [ changes very quickly once his eyes are open again and he’s struggling to keep them that way, to watch as he rubs their tips together. it’s not enough. he can’t hang with the slow pace, no matter how slick his fingers are. he wants to know what it feels like to stroke both of their dicks at the same time, if it’s as good as when he’s alone. if it’s better. pacing himself isn’t exactly an option, but he tries. he has to readjust his grip a couple times to keep them flush together when his palm is sliding down, because he can’t stop the way he jerks up into his hand and against nico.
being quiet is the last thing on his mind ( sorry, will ) and he doesn’t bite back or swallow any of the pants ( he feels like he’s hyperventilating ) or the grunts that tumble through his lips.
his hand leaves nico’s rear to cup the back of his neck and yank him into a devouring kiss. if he pulls him down in the process, he doesn’t care. percy wants nico’s mouth on him. he wants to taste his name on his tongue. he wants to feel every noise vibrating against his mouth. he needs to. he can't catch his breath, but he finds it within himself to break the kiss. he doesn't give nico any of his space back, doesn't let him retreat. ] Say it again? Tell me it's - mmn - me.
[ not that it will be easy, considering he's chasing nico's lips already. ]
[ with the way percy's chasing his lips, his body shifts and rocks against the son of poseidon's. his hips jerk forward and like when their dicks had been pressed flush together, nico's lashes flutter against flushed cheeks. the way percy grips him, it's hard to think. hard to string words together. frankly, nico's mind has gone a little blank about now.
he doesn't want to close his eyes, even though they seem to on their own. he wants to watch the way percy's face flushes, his mouth parts in moans. he wants to see how crazy he's driving percy because if it's anything like what percy is making him feel right now, surely he's going mad.
this pace, this motion of their bodies... it suits them. when they kiss again, it's like the tide surging in towards the shore and nico accepts the kiss without hesitation. nothing matters now but this. there's nothing he wants more in this moment.
slowly, one hand slides its way up percy's chest to settle a palm against his neck. nico's fingers grip at the nape and he turns his head just enough that when percy ducks in again, their lips brush but he's soon mouthing along percy's jaw. his other hand drops to their laps where he curls his fingers around percy's hand to help him out a little.
if percy wants him to say it again, he doesn't need to ask. nico releases a huffed laugh, followed by a moan as he gives his head a short nod. ]
[ he gasps when they break apart, appeased only by the smear of their lips. frustration flares up in him briefly, erased by nico’s mouth on his jaw. if it’s his goal to sear every memory and every thought out of percy’s mind, then it’s working. he’s grateful for the hand at the nape of his neck not because he’s considering cutting this short and running away, but because he feels like every touch, every emotion flickering between them is too intense for him to land softly. he’s going to fall and he’s going to hit the ground with a resounding thud.
if nico wasn’t holding him together, his head would tip back when he covers percy’s hand. his assistance keeps percy on track and stops him from being overwhelmed and slowing down.
for someone that isn’t in love, he’s pretty greedy. the next groan is strangled. ( is it possible to choke on emotions? ) it seems to tear out of him, suddenly and with as much of a waver as the tremors down his spine, in his thighs. he’s trying really hard not to come but he doesn’t see how he can last much longer, especially when he can’t pull up a distracting image in his head. everything slips away from him. there’s only nico, sitting on him, close but not close enough, telling him what he wants to hear.
( and percy wants to tell nico that he's beautiful. that he's so hot like this, that his kisses make him feel like he's intoxicated. he's putty in his hands. that percy wants him. him. he wants nico, not because he's there, not because he's lonely, not because he's convenient. he wants him because he does. because it's a thought that's gotten more and more tangled in his head, in his dreams, since that first kiss. ) ]
Shit, Nico. Ohmyguh—fuck! Don't stop. Please don't stop. Don't ever stop touching me. [ his strokes are firmer, from the base to the tips of their cocks, but faster if nico allows it. he does lean into nico's hand then, propped up but baring his throat. if nico feels like percy is trying to guide him face first towards his throat, he's not wrong. ] I nh—need you to..
[ bite me, kiss me, fuck me. he doesn't care anymore.
( and it shows in his eyes when he can keep them open. ) ]
[ he's falling apart at the seams. coming unraveled, dissolving, disintegrating. or at least it seems like his mind is. he can't think beyond the way percy's hand squeezes around him. beyond the way percy's cock, pressed against his own, throbs. nothing else exists beyond this. beyond the feel of percy's pulse thrumming under his fingers when he drags his hand forward and up to cup his jaw. beyond the way their hips move. and when he ducks forward, his lips drag across sweaty flesh with his lower lip catching on percy's adam's apple to slick across that taut skin. he breaths in the son of poseidon, glorifies in his scent and the way percy begs to him.
it's all a natural consequence of having held back for so long, of having to keep his emotions dammed behind a wall of anger and self-loathing. percy has not only put cracks in that way, but he's shattered it. exposed nico's inner core and making him an utter mess as he trembles atop percy's lap. his croons get louder, regardless of his boyfriend sleeping in the next room over, and his breathing is so punctuated that it's a wonder his lungs haven't stopped working. ]
Yes, uhn, gods. Percy, Percy, so uhm, so close.
[ with that dam having crumbled completely, nico begs without thought, without fear, without any semblance of self-consciousness. this is what percy jackson does to him. this is how much percy jackson has insinuated himself into his heart. he wants percy with every fiber of his being, so much that it hurts but in the way that feels so fucking good.
as percy's hand moves faster, so does his, and he can feel that coiling in the pit of his stomach heralding his climax. it's only the look he sees in percy's eyes that does it.
( the look he's wanted to see since he was old enough to understand its meaning. the way he's always wanted percy to look at him. )
choking on a cry that is muffled against percy's throat, he gives in. his orgasm hits hard, and nico is lost in the crashing waves of pleasure and emotion that have surged forth from that very wall behind which he's been keeping all his thoughts and feelings. ]
[ he's suddenly in over his head in the river styx again, losing his grip on everything that ever mattered to him. his memories, the sound of sally's laughter, blue candy, annabeth. maybe it isn’t as painful, or as drastic. maybe his soul isn’t at risk of being ripped from his body, but nico puts his mouth on percy and burns the very last ounce of resistance from him. whatever he pulls out of those waters is what’s left. he reaches for nico now like he didn’t then, clutching at him as hard as his fingers had scraped that cliffside above tartarus. he won’t let go.
percy doesn’t think he can this time.
mostly because nico’s coming apart in his lap, shaking, saying his name. revealing parts of himself that percy has never seen before, and hadn’t known existed. it’s mostly that.
( he won’t say it’s how his eyes aren’t terrifying like the pitch black of night, that they’re comforting like sitting on the roof watching the stars. they’re that kind of dark. and he won’t say it’s because kissing nico makes him forget what’s wrong, or that he likes rolling over and finding him there, even if all he’s doing is checking in before he leaves. he definitely won’t so much as think that nico’s touch is what he’s been craving for some time now. )
when nico comes with a badly disguised cry into his skin, percy isn’t far behind him at all. he slows the pace of his hand, working nico through his orgasm for a few strokes, before he eases off and takes his own dick in hand. it doesn’t take much for him. he’s been on the verge of his own climax for what feels like forever now, so with a few measured twists of his wrist and the right press of his fingers, it rocks through him almost violently.
nothing about it is quiet. not the huffed breaths, not the drawn out groan. he’s already forgotten himself, sorry nico. ( and sorry, will, if he’s awake now. ) his voice feels raw, his throat, as he heaves for air. he trades his grasp on nico’s hip to rub over his face, whispers something like fuuuck because it’s the most intelligible word he can shape. he can't look at nico yet, but when he does ( if he does ), he's afraid his thoughts will be written on his face. ]
[ it doesn't even matter that percy isn't looking at him. if he had been, nico still wouldn't noticed. his own eyes are closed and his mouth is agape because breathing through his nose just isn't enough for how he feels right now. his veins feel like they're on fire, but in a better way than what drinking from the phlegethon feels like. his entire body feels like a string of a guitar, vibrating pleasantly and thrumming as if he's been plucked.
it's a metaphor that's not too far from the truth. percy has made pleasure bloom in his blood better than any flower ever created by his step-mother. it's why he's panting, leaning into percy so their foreheads meet. he barely registers that percy has come as well, and as the realization settles inside him, making itself known, he slowly opens his eyes.
but it's the drawn out curse that really draws his attention. finally, he looks up at percy with flushed features, dark and sweaty curls clinging to his features, and lips plump from having been kissed and bitten. in essence, he looks well fucked. percy, meanwhile, looks glorious. the pinch of his brows above the hand covering the rest of his features gives nico a small idea of what he must be feeling.
the problem is that the expression is hard to read. was it good? he wonders. sure, percy came, but that's not hard when you're a teenager. what nico wants to know now is if percy had enjoyed it. if it was something that percy liked. and maybe if it was something percy would like to repeat in the future.
licking his lips, he exhales as slowly as he can and surreptitiously wipes his hand clean on the comforter under them. ]
Heh, wow... [ another look is chanced at percy's covered features. ] So...?
[ his teeth sink into his lower lip as he watches the son of poseidon. say something, he silently wills him, hoping all the while that percy won't kick him out of bed. ]
[ the hand on his face is heavy like a curtain. warm, dark, safe. nico's words are buzzing faintly, grounding him; they remind him that he has to pull it back soon. he has a few more seconds to put it off. to work through how intense this is - what he feels, what he's still experiencing - and if he has another spasm ripping through him, then he doesn't fight it. he lets it carry him like a current.. the tug of drowsiness hangs above him, hooking him, and he briefly wonders how nico would take it if he started snoring. probably not well. so eventually, he does allow his fingers to slip away and slide from his face, revealing his expression. if eyes are the windows to the soul, what does nico see in his?
nico's gazing at him with what.. apprehension? curiosity? he watches nico watch him, and he wonders if it’s worse that this happened, or that he’s letting him look. he’s searching for something that may never be there.
and percy feels everything slam into him at once. the paralyzing fear, affection, guilt. reality. it’s like the sky has fallen on his shoulders again and he glances away momentarily, tries to shield how being on the receiving end of the hope in nico’s eyes takes him back to another time, and another disappointment.
he’s conflicted.
but he’s not bolting and he doesn’t intend to tell nico to get out. he turns sea green eyes back up to nico and tries not to focus too hard on being in his head, considering he operates better by doing and feeling. ]
So… [ seriously, that’s the best he can do? ] That happened.
[ percy doesn’t have to wait for nico to wince to know how bad of a reaction that is. his voice is quiet and nervous though, not dismissive. he doesn’t know what the right thing to say is, but he has an idea that what came out of his mouth was pretty pathetic as far as responses go. ]
Can we blame that on feeling so good that my brain stopped working, please? [ he’s an idiot. this isn’t news. ]
[ surprisingly, both to himself and probably to percy, he laughs. it starts in his stomach and rises to his chest until he's shaking with mirth at the sheer audacity to all of this. percy's comment spurs the laughter on and he's quick to shake his head, indicating he's not bothered by the inane comment. nico's experienced enough to know when someone's too overwhelmed to manage proper thought.
and he can take the credit for that, too. his heart is still racing in his chest, beating harder still because he's managed to get percy off so well that the son of poseidon is too dazed for coherent thought. that fact makes him feel giddy inside.
dragging a hand through his hair and then reaching out, he tries to cup percy's neck. if percy allows it, he'll pull him in for another kiss. this time, less heated than what they'd shared moments ago. this time, it's pure affection.
of course, he doesn't know what percy's feeling. isn't aware of the guilt and everything else. he's peacefully oblivious, buoyed on the affection and love that has only intensified thanks to this. and the best part is, annabeth isn't here. ( no, he's not going to think about if she was, he won't let his brain ruin the moment ) she isn't here and he is, just like percy had said and percy wants him to be there. ]
I guess I'll take that as a compliment. [ there's a wry grin on his lips now that his laughter has died down. there will be consequences for this, sure. but he doesn't want to think about them right now. he wants to bask in this for as long as he possibly can. ] It is a compliment, right?
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he has to be intimate with someone. has to hold hands, has to touch someone. he has to do something if he wants to stay in eudio and have his wish granted. it doesn't have to be nico, and yet, percy's drawn to him. his persistence. those dark eyes. he's trying to look into them now because nico's talking about making percy watch him and that idea blooms to life in his mind. it's all he can think about, which is bad. thinking about nico touching himself again. yeah, again, because this isn't the first time he's seen nico like this.
he still remembers walking in on him.
the difference here is that he can stare without getting a nosebleed by smacking his face into the door frame. logic tells him to look away. percy tells logic to go to tartarus because there's a real naked person in front of him and not far away on a screen. then nico's on top of him again with his dick out, rubbing lube onto his fingers, and talking so dirty that percy whines. the thought of nico stroking his dick or stretching himself open with his fingers coupled with the prospect of coming in his mouth is way too much. ]
You're putting a lot of faith in my terrible impulse control. [ the guy with the kneejerk reaction to give his word isn't about to right now. ] I can try? No promises.
[ he brushes his thumb over nico's bow and arrow tattoo and tries not to think of bianca. he's trying to do a lot of things at once. he inhales slowly to measure his breathing, to attempt to calm down a little. it's not really working, but it's worth a shot. percy covers nico's hand with his own ( the one with lube on it ) and holds his gaze steadily. whatever timidness or awkwardness he has is masked by how turned on he is. he guides nico's hand lower, not necessarily pushing him but encouraging him. ]
Show me. I want to watch you. I've wanted to for awhile. [ wow, good job. he has been watching nico, stealing glances, here and there. trying not to be obvious. wondering if this is just him, if nico's thinks percy is someone he wants because he's wanted him for so long that he has to see it through. he's been wondering since the kiss in his bedroom, if it's going to happen again. when. not fantasizing exactly, but it's a small apartment, and their lives are relatively simple here. there's not a lot else to think about in a city that wants its citizens to touch each other. with that admission ( which nico is free to interpret however he wants ), percy flashes his best disarming smile. ] Show me what you like.
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the way percy says it, breathless and holding his gaze, steals away his breath. since this started, nico's known that percy must want him on some level. maybe not emotionally, but certainly physically. percy is attracted to him and it's been a realization that nico repeats over and over in his mind because he never would've thought it was possible. in his mind, percy has always been 100% straight as a stick and seeing that this is blatantly false to such enormous proportions goes straight to nico's head. and to his dick.
how long, he wonders. how long is awhile? since that first kiss? since percy walked in on him? gods, now he's wondering just how long percy had stood there watching him. he wonders what percy might think if he'd known nico was imagining him at that moment.
he doesn't have to imagine now. percy's hands are on his, slowly lowering to his cock and nico has to bite a lip to withhold sound. it doesn't work and soon a whine similar to percy's is muffled behind his lips. he entwines his slick fingers with percy's and positively gasps when their hands reach his dick. the next sound he makes is caused by the shuddering breath he inhales as he watches percy through lidded eyes. ]
Like this. [ he guides both their hands around his erection with percy's hands underneath his own. he wants percy to feel the way he throbs for him, to feel how hard he is. against his flushed cheeks, his dark lashes flutter. the enormity of it all is almost too much to take. percy jackson's hand is on his cock and it feels amazing. ] I like it when I'm touched.
[ and he guides percy's hand in the first upward stroke. percy's hand is rough from handling weapons for so long, but it doesn't matter. it's perfect. ]
I want you to touch me more.
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percy jackson is attracted to nico di angelo, and it is what it is.
he is who he is and if he's bisexual, then so be it.
if nico asked him his questions now, he'd answer, like this. he can't think about anything else outside of his bedroom. nico's on top of him, completely naked, and it's certainly different than a girl without any clothes on. sharp edges instead of curves. his scars go hand-in-hand with percy's. it's intimidating, sure, seeing how hard nico's dick is - for him - and knowing what he expects of him, but that's why he's letting nico guide him. he wants to make him feel good. he doesn't want to screw this up by being awful at it.
nico's watching him, gasping, and maybe he's not so terrible. he's torn between wanting to watch nico's reactions, how he shudders, and glancing down at their hands. nico's fingers are wet on top of his and his aren't slick enough, it doesn't distract him from how turned on nico is because of percy. his hand slides down and he's not physically getting anything out of it but he still hums. a deep mmh as nico continues to talk to him and throbs in his palm. it affects him visually and mentally, and he'd be lying if he said that his partner's pleasure wasn't more important to him than his own, anyway. he guides percy and while he's doing that, percy reaches for the bottle of lube, then uncaps it with his other hand. this may not happen again. they may not get another chance at this and percy wants to do it right, which means when he gets to tip of nico's dick, he lets him go. he's not stopping. he's squeezing a little more lube onto his own fingers and rubbing it around, warming it up on his skin and gazing up at nico as he does it. ]
Yeah? You want my hands on you? [ far be it for percy to deny him that. he curls his fingers around nico's length again, resuming where he left off by stroking down, then turning his wrist to glide back up. it's slow. partially because he's trying to find a steady pace but also because it's to tease nico as much as he's torturing himself. he has instructions to watch. he plans to follow them, no matter how uncomfortably hard he is. he abandons the bottle of lube at his side in the sheets in order to reach for nico's hip, only he keeps his hand traveling around him. he doesn't stop until his palm's on nico's ass, cupping one of his cheeks. he has to lean forward a little but that's okay. ] How many times have you thought about this?
[ about them, about his hands on nico, about having sex with percy. he means all of it. he doesn't care how needy that sounds, how obvious it is that he wants to know the truth. he speeds up his ministrations, less concerned with how into this he is, like if he drives nico wild enough, he'll answer anything, too. ]
Is it just my hands that you think about?
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but for just about the same amount of time, nico knew it would never be a possibility. he knew that percy would always be devoted to annabeth and he knew that between betrayal and distrust, his own fear of his sexuality and more, getting close to percy was practically impossible. he's dreamt of moments like this far more than he can count, but always with the belief it would never happen. he's always thought it would forever be a shameful, unspoken need.
it's happening now and it's still hard to believe. the way percy looks at him, eyes dark in the low light of the room and darker still due to lust. percy's eyes on his body are like hot trails that he wishes would leave marks because when it all ends, he wants proof that it happened. he wants to make sure that this is not just something happening in the dark spaces of his head and that he won't wake up in the morning with the need to explain to will why the sheets are wet. ( how embarrassing would that be? ) ]
Yes, I want your hands on me. [ ( all over, everywhere ) and he rocks his hips into percy's hand. as the son of poseidon sits up, draws closer, his hands find purchase in percy's hair and he leans closer too, seeking out percy's mouth with his own. if he can get close enough, he breathe against percy's lips, mewl for him, card his fingers through dark strands before answering. ]
I've thought about it so much- Gods, Percy... [ it's another whine, a plea for more. ] I've thought about it so many times...
[ his voice is interrupted frequently by the gasps that escape him when percy's hand twists around his cock, the pace so teasing and much too slow. he needs more, feels the desire ringing in his bones again, like it has so many times. only this time, he's not alone with his hand. he's not by himself, without anyone to touch him. he's not hidden away with the belief that this could only be a dream. ]
I've wanted so much more. I want- I've wanted to feel you inside me.
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his whine is deafening in percy's ears, similar to his confessions.
now he doesn't have to stand in a doorway, wondering what nico looks like without his many layers on. he doesn't have to watch from a distance. he can look for as long as he wants without having to find an excuse to look away. he gets to be the one with his hand around nico's dick drawing these reactions out of him and he gets to be the one on his mind and in front of him. it does more for his confidence than he'll admit. he's not really a possessive guy because he's always been sure of the people around him and in his life, but there's a rush of it that shoots through him when nico says he's wanted percy inside of him.
that train of thought makes it difficult to remember that he's afraid of anything. it's his reckless side.
he kisses nico again, hard on the mouth, like he wants to consume every gasping secret nico has. it doesn't linger, doesn't transform into a deeper kiss because percy refuses to shut his eyes or take his gaze off of nico. ]
When I walked in on you that time, who were you thinking about? [ it's not a desperate question and as if to prove that he's not stopping, regardless of what the answer may be, he stops experimenting. stops teasing nico with slow, questioning strokes. he twists his wrist for a better angle now that they're sitting up and focuses on his tip - it's a little different, considering nico isn't circumcised like percy is, but not by that much. ] I was standing there long enough for it to be weird. I wanted to watch you.
[ as if to serve as proof of those words, he drops his gaze between them, close as they are, to watch how his fingers glide down. how the pad of his thumb's pressed against the underside of nico's dick while his other fingers curl around him. he bites his own bottom lip to keep himself quiet, but he can't keep his hips down, and he's obviously terrible at following instructions. what self-control?
he pulls his hand away from nico's ass to tug his boxers down as far as he can without sacrificing too much contact. it takes some maneuvering ( and he risks a few seconds stalling his ministrations ) to yank them down to his thighs. if he's embarrassed by how turned on he is, how his cock is arching, or how nico's probably looking at him, he does a good job at keeping that close to his chest. they're close enough together that percy thinks putting his thumb around his own erection and pressing nico's against his with his fingers just might work. he's already halfway towards accomplishing that when he hesitates, meeting nico's eyes. ]
Can I.. try something?
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normally, he's so reserved, prone to keeping his expressions and emotions locked away where only the shadows might find them. normally, only anger and bitterness are enough to evoke anything out of him. but now, percy has him giving up his secrets with a twist of his wrist, with a squeeze of his hand, with the press of his thumb. how can he expect to keep anything from the son of poseidon when percy now has so much control over him. and does percy even realize it? how easily it would be for percy to have him coming apart at the seams, his soul laid bare? that part of him hasn't seen daylight since he'd grasped the soul of bryce lawrence and ripped the life out of him before sending the other demigod to the darkest parts of the underworld. only now it's not hate and anger and pain and suffering driving him, it's need and desire and above all, love.
he can't let percy know that. he can't let percy see into his heart like that. but if percy asked...
it's almost frightening, but in some ways, that just intensifies everything. makes the sensation of percy's thumb on his tip seem better than nectar on his lips. makes the way percy's palm drags against his foreskin feel more encapsulating than the comfort of the shadows. makes the way feeling the heat of percy's skin feel hotter than a fire. and when percy asks him that first question, a full body tremble passes through him followed by an abrupt gasp. ]
Di immortales-!
[ not quite shouted. he has the presence of mind to keep his voice down a little, but it's a sign that both percy's words and his touch are having their desired affect.
( i wanted to watch you ) hearing that draws an italian plea from nico's lips. ] I- It was you. It's pretty much always you...
[ not entirely the truth. nowadays, it's also will and loki and a few other people he's met in eudio. but before he got close to the son of apollo, it had most certainly always been percy.
and then percy is shifting under him, pulling away and yet another italian plea, this time more desperate, escapes him. once percy is fully undressed, though, it's worth it. because his eyes meet percy's and he can tell without looking what percy has in mind. to feel percy's arousal against his own... the thought is mindblowing and he most certainly wants it. ]
Percy-! Un-mmpf. [ one of the most undignified noises he's ever made, but by this point, he's to far along to care. ] Y-yeah. Yeah.
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he shuts his eyes when their dicks finally do touch because the relief is too sweet to try and fight. it’s short-lived. because- ]
Ah- gods, that's amazing. [ changes very quickly once his eyes are open again and he’s struggling to keep them that way, to watch as he rubs their tips together. it’s not enough. he can’t hang with the slow pace, no matter how slick his fingers are. he wants to know what it feels like to stroke both of their dicks at the same time, if it’s as good as when he’s alone. if it’s better. pacing himself isn’t exactly an option, but he tries. he has to readjust his grip a couple times to keep them flush together when his palm is sliding down, because he can’t stop the way he jerks up into his hand and against nico.
being quiet is the last thing on his mind ( sorry, will ) and he doesn’t bite back or swallow any of the pants ( he feels like he’s hyperventilating ) or the grunts that tumble through his lips.
his hand leaves nico’s rear to cup the back of his neck and yank him into a devouring kiss. if he pulls him down in the process, he doesn’t care. percy wants nico’s mouth on him. he wants to taste his name on his tongue. he wants to feel every noise vibrating against his mouth. he needs to. he can't catch his breath, but he finds it within himself to break the kiss. he doesn't give nico any of his space back, doesn't let him retreat. ] Say it again? Tell me it's - mmn - me.
[ not that it will be easy, considering he's chasing nico's lips already. ]
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he doesn't want to close his eyes, even though they seem to on their own. he wants to watch the way percy's face flushes, his mouth parts in moans. he wants to see how crazy he's driving percy because if it's anything like what percy is making him feel right now, surely he's going mad.
this pace, this motion of their bodies... it suits them. when they kiss again, it's like the tide surging in towards the shore and nico accepts the kiss without hesitation. nothing matters now but this. there's nothing he wants more in this moment.
slowly, one hand slides its way up percy's chest to settle a palm against his neck. nico's fingers grip at the nape and he turns his head just enough that when percy ducks in again, their lips brush but he's soon mouthing along percy's jaw. his other hand drops to their laps where he curls his fingers around percy's hand to help him out a little.
if percy wants him to say it again, he doesn't need to ask. nico releases a huffed laugh, followed by a moan as he gives his head a short nod. ]
It's you. Haa- fuck. Gods, it's you.
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if nico wasn’t holding him together, his head would tip back when he covers percy’s hand. his assistance keeps percy on track and stops him from being overwhelmed and slowing down.
for someone that isn’t in love, he’s pretty greedy. the next groan is strangled. ( is it possible to choke on emotions? ) it seems to tear out of him, suddenly and with as much of a waver as the tremors down his spine, in his thighs. he’s trying really hard not to come but he doesn’t see how he can last much longer, especially when he can’t pull up a distracting image in his head. everything slips away from him. there’s only nico, sitting on him, close but not close enough, telling him what he wants to hear.
( and percy wants to tell nico that he's beautiful. that he's so hot like this, that his kisses make him feel like he's intoxicated. he's putty in his hands. that percy wants him. him. he wants nico, not because he's there, not because he's lonely, not because he's convenient. he wants him because he does. because it's a thought that's gotten more and more tangled in his head, in his dreams, since that first kiss. ) ]
Shit, Nico. Ohmyguh—fuck! Don't stop. Please don't stop. Don't ever stop touching me. [ his strokes are firmer, from the base to the tips of their cocks, but faster if nico allows it. he does lean into nico's hand then, propped up but baring his throat. if nico feels like percy is trying to guide him face first towards his throat, he's not wrong. ] I nh—need you to..
[ bite me, kiss me, fuck me. he doesn't care anymore.
( and it shows in his eyes when he can keep them open. ) ]
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it's all a natural consequence of having held back for so long, of having to keep his emotions dammed behind a wall of anger and self-loathing. percy has not only put cracks in that way, but he's shattered it. exposed nico's inner core and making him an utter mess as he trembles atop percy's lap. his croons get louder, regardless of his boyfriend sleeping in the next room over, and his breathing is so punctuated that it's a wonder his lungs haven't stopped working. ]
Yes, uhn, gods. Percy, Percy, so uhm, so close.
[ with that dam having crumbled completely, nico begs without thought, without fear, without any semblance of self-consciousness. this is what percy jackson does to him. this is how much percy jackson has insinuated himself into his heart. he wants percy with every fiber of his being, so much that it hurts but in the way that feels so fucking good.
as percy's hand moves faster, so does his, and he can feel that coiling in the pit of his stomach heralding his climax. it's only the look he sees in percy's eyes that does it.
( the look he's wanted to see since he was old enough to understand its meaning. the way he's always wanted percy to look at him. )
choking on a cry that is muffled against percy's throat, he gives in. his orgasm hits hard, and nico is lost in the crashing waves of pleasure and emotion that have surged forth from that very wall behind which he's been keeping all his thoughts and feelings. ]
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percy doesn’t think he can this time.
mostly because nico’s coming apart in his lap, shaking, saying his name. revealing parts of himself that percy has never seen before, and hadn’t known existed. it’s mostly that.
( he won’t say it’s how his eyes aren’t terrifying like the pitch black of night, that they’re comforting like sitting on the roof watching the stars. they’re that kind of dark. and he won’t say it’s because kissing nico makes him forget what’s wrong, or that he likes rolling over and finding him there, even if all he’s doing is checking in before he leaves. he definitely won’t so much as think that nico’s touch is what he’s been craving for some time now. )
when nico comes with a badly disguised cry into his skin, percy isn’t far behind him at all. he slows the pace of his hand, working nico through his orgasm for a few strokes, before he eases off and takes his own dick in hand. it doesn’t take much for him. he’s been on the verge of his own climax for what feels like forever now, so with a few measured twists of his wrist and the right press of his fingers, it rocks through him almost violently.
nothing about it is quiet. not the huffed breaths, not the drawn out groan. he’s already forgotten himself, sorry nico. ( and sorry, will, if he’s awake now. ) his voice feels raw, his throat, as he heaves for air. he trades his grasp on nico’s hip to rub over his face, whispers something like fuuuck because it’s the most intelligible word he can shape. he can't look at nico yet, but when he does ( if he does ), he's afraid his thoughts will be written on his face. ]
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it's a metaphor that's not too far from the truth. percy has made pleasure bloom in his blood better than any flower ever created by his step-mother. it's why he's panting, leaning into percy so their foreheads meet. he barely registers that percy has come as well, and as the realization settles inside him, making itself known, he slowly opens his eyes.
but it's the drawn out curse that really draws his attention. finally, he looks up at percy with flushed features, dark and sweaty curls clinging to his features, and lips plump from having been kissed and bitten. in essence, he looks well fucked. percy, meanwhile, looks glorious. the pinch of his brows above the hand covering the rest of his features gives nico a small idea of what he must be feeling.
the problem is that the expression is hard to read. was it good? he wonders. sure, percy came, but that's not hard when you're a teenager. what nico wants to know now is if percy had enjoyed it. if it was something that percy liked. and maybe if it was something percy would like to repeat in the future.
licking his lips, he exhales as slowly as he can and surreptitiously wipes his hand clean on the comforter under them. ]
Heh, wow... [ another look is chanced at percy's covered features. ] So...?
[ his teeth sink into his lower lip as he watches the son of poseidon. say something, he silently wills him, hoping all the while that percy won't kick him out of bed. ]
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nico's gazing at him with what.. apprehension? curiosity? he watches nico watch him, and he wonders if it’s worse that this happened, or that he’s letting him look. he’s searching for something that may never be there.
and percy feels everything slam into him at once. the paralyzing fear, affection, guilt. reality. it’s like the sky has fallen on his shoulders again and he glances away momentarily, tries to shield how being on the receiving end of the hope in nico’s eyes takes him back to another time, and another disappointment.
he’s conflicted.
but he’s not bolting and he doesn’t intend to tell nico to get out. he turns sea green eyes back up to nico and tries not to focus too hard on being in his head, considering he operates better by doing and feeling. ]
So… [ seriously, that’s the best he can do? ] That happened.
[ percy doesn’t have to wait for nico to wince to know how bad of a reaction that is. his voice is quiet and nervous though, not dismissive. he doesn’t know what the right thing to say is, but he has an idea that what came out of his mouth was pretty pathetic as far as responses go. ]
Can we blame that on feeling so good that my brain stopped working, please? [ he’s an idiot. this isn’t news. ]
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and he can take the credit for that, too. his heart is still racing in his chest, beating harder still because he's managed to get percy off so well that the son of poseidon is too dazed for coherent thought. that fact makes him feel giddy inside.
dragging a hand through his hair and then reaching out, he tries to cup percy's neck. if percy allows it, he'll pull him in for another kiss. this time, less heated than what they'd shared moments ago. this time, it's pure affection.
of course, he doesn't know what percy's feeling. isn't aware of the guilt and everything else. he's peacefully oblivious, buoyed on the affection and love that has only intensified thanks to this. and the best part is, annabeth isn't here. ( no, he's not going to think about if she was, he won't let his brain ruin the moment ) she isn't here and he is, just like percy had said and percy wants him to be there. ]
I guess I'll take that as a compliment. [ there's a wry grin on his lips now that his laughter has died down. there will be consequences for this, sure. but he doesn't want to think about them right now. he wants to bask in this for as long as he possibly can. ] It is a compliment, right?