[ it's times like this that remind nico that this boy hovering over him, while entirely heroic and loyal to a fault, is also just like him... a guy trying to figure out his place in the world. sure, percy will always be the one who saved him, time and time again, but nico is also fully aware that percy is not perfect. he's deeply flawed. and as percy stutters, hesitates, but still dives in like this is where he belongs, nico feels as if his heart might burst because he may have fallen in love with percy because of his heroism, but has stayed in love with percy because of his flaws as well. percy is so human and nico couldn't possibly want him to be anything other than who he is.
he's still incredibly turned on, of course. even more so now that percy's warm hands are gliding along his torso, jostling the camp beads around his throat. his breath hitches and he has to swallow hard because he can feel his nipples tighten and the look percy gives him makes him tremble again. he wonders vaguely how he looks in percy's eyes and what he's thinking, but for as much as he might tease percy about having kelp for brains or the like, percy is as complicated as they come. he has depth like the ocean from whence his power comes and nico will never not be astonished by what he sees in percy's eyes.
percy might not think he's enough, that he's just some regular guy who's had to carry more weight than a person should ever rightly be burdened with, but nico knows what that weight feels like and he wants to help percy carry it. so, dragging his fingers out of percy's hair, he allows hilt-callused fingers trail along percy's jaw. across percy's lips as he licks his own. he rolls his hips up against percy's and then slowly shakes his head.
if this is percy's first time... well, shouldn't it be with someone he loves? isn't that what percy has always wanted? nico remembers the sunny day in camp when percy had been so elated by the acceptance annabeth had given him to the idea of going together to new rome. and though the memory makes him feel like his heart is being squeezed, nico can't bring himself to ruin anything like that between percy and annabeth. they truly do belong together and if he can just be a part of percy's heart while she dominates the rest, he would be content with that.
carefully, and if percy allows it, nico flexes his thighs, intending to guide percy onto his back. if percy's comfortable with it, he'll settle atop percy's lap and lean over him, holding his gaze. he knows just how much pressure has been placed on percy's shoulders through the years. part of that had been his fault in expecting a thirteen-year-old to protect his sister as if percy were someone to set on a pedestal. but he knows what it's like to bear the scars of tartarus, knows that being a demigod means being thrust into situations you can't control, can't choose. in this case, he wants percy to have the chance to decide for himself. ]
Or... I can take care of you. [ his voice is far more sturdy than he'd expected, especially considering how breathless percy has made him. ] What do you want?
[ he has no reason to put up a fight. nico flips their positions and percy rolls with it, having no qualms with nico on top of him. he's leaning over him, pumping the brakes, and all percy can think about is how much he enjoys nico's weight on his lap, how he wants to keep rubbing against him, how much of a distraction he is from their conversation which is more significant than his physical needs. he reaches for nico's hips and graps them lightly, just somewhere to rest his hands. his teeth dig into his lower lip because he's torturing himself with the thought of dragging nico down against him, of holding him there, and he has to toss his head back and look at the ceiling to focus.
get it together, jackson. ]
No, [ he says with perfect clarity, attention back on nico. ] I'm not using you. I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me just because I'm hard. [ yes, he knows there's more to it than that for nico but it doesn't sit right with him, like somehow because he's more experienced it's okay for him to get percy off but not the other way around.
his stare is strange as if the question catches him off guard. what does he want? that's a thing? he sighs, wondering how it is that nico does that. he cuts through everything else and gets right to the point. he doesn't ramble on or waste his words and he's always been that way. so sure of his choice even in the midst of chaos. he knows what he wants, it's easy for him to answer that. percy, not so much. ]
I don't know. [ helpful! ] I don't want it to be one-sided. I want us both to enjoy this, or I don't want anything. [ so many people have taken things from nico. bianca took his hope for a family, hades took away his hope for learning about his past, percy took him for granted for a long time, and then there's cupid, taking his chance to decide for himself how he wants to accept himself. he doesn't want to add to that. he doesn't want to keep pushing and pulling because nico can bend without breaking.
he brushes his fingers across nico's waistband, contemplating dropping his palm and covering his erection with it. he's strongly considering it, but he hesitates. percy wants to hear what he has to say because he usually has a reasonable solution for all parties. he's good at that. ]
Edited (typos because 5am tagging) 2017-03-20 18:03 (UTC)
[ percy's grip on his hips steadies him more than the earth itself and while percy tortures himself with the thought, nico just goes for it. the press of their hips helps relieve some of the need thrumming in his bones, but it's still not enough. though he desperately wants to keep rocking, keep grinding against percy, watch the way his lower lip is snagged by his teeth, but he has to reign himself in a little, remind himself to breathe. not only that, percy is essentially giving control over to him, allowing him to call the shots and it's a weighty burden. one nico never imagined he'd be saddled with. and yet, he likes the idea that percy is allowing him to decide.
it's flattering, of course. and a little bit dorky the way percy's immediate thought is that nico is willing to let himself be used for percy's sake. nico does have a record of doing that, doing what he thinks is the right or necessary thing to do in order to keep percy jackson alive ( because nico always thought that losing him, even if he might never truly have him would be just as earth shattering as losing bianca had been. ) however, that's not the case here. and nico's lips quirk because it's the way percy obviously cares for him, worries even, and nico finds himself smiling just a fraction. all affectionate and just a little bit wry. it's less about just getting percy off ( though he'd certainly enjoy that and would likely get off at the same time ) and more about giving percy a choice when he knows how often choices are taken from the son of poseidon. it's like how many choices have been stolen from nico and though sometimes that makes nico feel bitter and resentful, he's not going to let his own feelings get in the way of percy being able to decide for himself.
tilting his hips into the touch at his waistband and wanting nothing more than to shed the last bit of separation between them, nico only stalls enough to cup percy's cheek and nip at that lip that's been chewed on. ]
Sometimes... [ there's clear affection in his voice, but also a bit of that wry exasperation. ] What I meant was if you're really okay with this, with it being me and not, you know, Annabeth, then I'll show you what we'll do.
[ it's an out for percy, to prevent any later regrets. as much as nico wants to feel percy inside him, feel the son of the sea surging into him like the tide, he wants to make sure there will be no way percy will regret what they might do. he wants this to be for real. and not just because they're both horny.
and nico is horny. he wants nothing more than to guide percy inside him, show him how good this can feel, how incredibly groundbreaking an experience it can be. and to give just a hint of what might be coming if percy does want to continue, nico drags his palms down percy's chest before slowly cupping him through his boxers and squeezing. ]
[ nothing about what they're doing makes him feel steady. he's not on solid ground. he's sinking ( in the ocean, in darkness - it doesn't matter ) and he can't stabilize himself. nico rocks against him and then percy's fingers dig into his hips because he can't take it. he can't lay back and pretend he's not into this, that he's not biting back a gasp. this is what drowning feels like. he can't come up for air and this is what people must feel when they get caught in treacherous waves. it's insufferable, but percy's thoughts have disintegrated into more, more, more. he's greedy and he doesn't practice self-restraint, like, ever.
so maybe nico's holding back but percy's slightly lost to pleasure. he knows he needs to listen. he needs to think. but if he adjusts his hips enough, if he tugs nico forward an inch or two, then their bodes will slot together in just the right way that nico's sitting directly on top of percy's dick. the fabric's annoying, but it doesn't seem to stop him from arching up and rubbing himself against the seat of nico's pajama pants. he should probably let go of his waist, he probably shouldn't be using his grasp to push nico down on him. that's when his hand drifts and nico leans into it and pinches percy's lip with his teeth.
it hurts but it doesn't. the nip gets his attention, sort of, because there are words happening. words regarding whether he's okay with his first time being with nico instead of annabeth and it's like he's reached the surface for a moment. he's not. he's not okay with it going farther than this, not yet, because he's never imagined his first time to be with a guy, let alone nico. he still hasn't said anything ( he can't find the words ) and nico's waiting on him, albeit not patiently. his touch sears a path down percy's torso to the front of his boxers and he grunts before he can clamp his teeth down on the noise. his fingers hook in nico's waistband and he curses in greek, slides his hand to the sheets because he is listening.
he's probably going to come in his boxers, but he's listening. ]
I- [ can't breathe? ] I don't want this to stop. [ that's not an answer, is it? wait. is it? ]
You want me to be honest with you? I don't know what I'm doing. I never thought we'd be here, but we are. The scary thing is that I really like it. I want to keep touching you. I want to kiss you again. In case you missed it, I'm very, very into this, but I don't know if I'm doing it for the right reasons. [ he groans, less sexually charged and more out of frustration. ] I hate that I'm saying this, but I should know that before we... [ well, you know. he gestures vaguely, apparently too flustered to say sex out loud, never mind that they're half-naked already. ] Shouldn't I?
[ it's exactly like drowning, because when their hips meet in just the right way, providing just the right friction, nico can't breathe either. he's gasping, and for a moment, he tosses his head back with his throat exposed as his hips move on their own, rolling and colliding with percy's. undulating like the waves against the shore. it's perfect, the way percy's cock presses hard and firm just behind his still-clothed balls, making him tremble and seek some kind of purchase somewhere, both mentally and physically. not easy, by any means. and he can only ride the waves of absolute pleasure as they surge through him.
when he regains a bit of himself again, one hand still on percy's boxers while the other settles on percy's bare chest, he sucks in air. his heart feels like a constant beating drum, slamming into his rib cage, and the way percy curses in words they both know forces nico to bite down on his lip to withhold a curse of his own. he lifts himself just a fraction, enough so that when percy's fingers hook into his waistband, it shifts down just enough to make the 'v' of his slim hips even more pronounced.
and then percy is talking. rambling like he does when he's overcome with emotion. nico's dark eyes find percy's, hold his gaze as percy tries to talk his way around how he feels. nico doesn't speak, still biting his own lip because part of him is afraid of what he'll hear, but another part of him needs to know.
i don't want this to stop, percy says and nico knows exactly what he means. he doesn't want this to stop either. if it does, he's not sure what state his heart will be in. it's one thing to experience outright rejection. nico's heart has long since hardened itself in preparation for that. it would've been so much easier if they'd never started this, never let it get this far, because then nico would never know what it feels like to have percy hard and needy beneath him, just as wanting as he is. so he hopes, gods he hopes and tries not to hold his breath.
i don't know if i'm doing this for the right reasons.
it doesn't actually hurt when percy puts it like that. and the blow, as gentle as it is, is softened even more by the way percy admits without hesitation just how much he wants this, wants to kiss him, wants to feel him. nico once more thrills in that knowledge. it's how he's felt about percy for so long and even getting that in return is so incredibly mindblowing that nico whimpers a little.
now, nico's hands move again. sliding over taunt panes of percy's skin, tracing firm muscles with callused fingers. it's natural to question things like this. he doesn't even begrudge percy for being uncertain. in some ways, part of nico is too. ]
Yeah. You should know. We- We can even stop if that's better.
[ he swallows because it feels like his throat is closing up, like earth and stone are caught there, and though he can still breathe, he's torn. he doesn't want to stop, but if that's what percy needs...
his eyes still haven't left percy's and he subconsciously licks his lips. ]
Tell me. [ his voice is almost impossibly soft. ] Why do you think you're doing this?
[ nico's trying to kill him. that's what this is. he's trying to strip him of everything he is in a way that both hera and the river styx failed to. ( gods, right there, right there, yes. ) he rakes his teeth hard across his bottom lip and for a few agonizing seconds he's stuck staring at the stretch of exposed skin. he wants to bite nico, lean up and taste his throat. drag his teeth across it, leave a mark, maybe. he leans up halfway, but he doesn't make it as far as he wants before he's crying out and descending into a series of what he perceives as unflattering noises. he doesn't care. he doesn't have the drive to be modest with nico essentially riding him, and when he stops, percy really considers flipping him over and picking back up where they left off. he struggles with it visibly, warring with what he wants versus how he wants it to eventually unfold, if it ever does.
he can feel the pre-cum pooling at the head of his cock, wetting a spot on the front of his boxers. percy squirms under nico and drops his gaze to the prominent v of his hips. he's staring. how is nico this hot? how is this fair? he knows all he has to do is say the word and nico's willing to be his for tonight, willing to go that extra step and teach him what sex is really like. his fingers flex in the sheets once they slide away and it's a miracle he doesn't say what he's thinking out loud. he doesn't know anything about sucking cock, but there's a moment where he thinks about how easy it'd be to pull nico forward, to tug the front of his pants down and try. it's such a filthy thought for him that he has to physically bind himself not to find out if he's that impulsive.
the son of hades whimpers, smooths his hands over his chest again, and percy thinks stop. stop doing that. because he can't. he doesn't know how. ]
I just need to stop touching you for a minute. [ yeah, that's going to help. he crosses his arms behind his head, pins his own arms in place because it's the only thing that stops him from reaching out. now that he knows what being with nico feels like, he can't pretend that he's not interested. he can't tell himself it's a weird situation based on circumstance and it'll pass. percy jackson wants nico di angelo, now he knows for sure. is it only the physical aspects? he wants to say yes, needs to, but there's a feeling he gets in his gut that says that's a lie. if that's true, that he's only into nico for these sensations, they would have gotten it over with already. it wouldn't mean anything, and he wouldn't feel as guilty.
he cares about nico, always has, but the extent of that concern is transforming, expanding. until now, he hasn't had to ask himself what it means. in fact, he's avoided it like the plague. nico's with will. and until they'd kissed again, it'd been easy to try and separate himself from it and focus on everything he feels regarding annabeth's departure. sparring with clarisse, running until he can't anymore, trying to exert himself physically so that there's nothing left mentally or emotionally. except at the end of the day, he still misses annabeth, and nico's still one of the only people there for him.
nico wets his lips and asks him a question, and percy worries if he answers him, he's going to lose this. think first, percy, think. ]
Because you're here. [ he says thoughtlessly, ignoring his own advice. he doesn't mean it quite like it comes across, like it's only because nico's on top of him, waiting in the wings. as if anyone will do. anyone that pursues him and kisses him and sits on top of his lap in annabeth's absence. he unfolds one arm even though it's dangerous for him, catches nico's wrist before he can shadow travel out of the room due to that really crappy explanation.
percy guides nico's hand to his heart, not really thinking about the placement on that level so much as he wants nico to feel under his fingertips what he's doing to him. ]
I've given you practically every reason not to be near me over the years and you haven't left my side. You've been here for me since the moment we got into this city. [ yeah, percy's not dumb. he knows there may be ulterior motives there, that in light of being here, a spark has been reignited in nico's heart - hope, and he's guilty of fanning that flame, of needing it to some degree because he'd felt unworthy of it. ]
If we do this, I want it to mean something. I want to be sure. I don't want it to be because of me, because I need to feel like I'm worth something to someone. [ losing annabeth is messing with his head. not talking out with her, not knowing what she feels, what she thinks, it's tearing him apart. ] Sorry, that's.. not your mess. I mean that I want it to be because we want to be with each other that way. I don't want to question it later. I don't want anything else clouding my judgment. Does that make sense?
[ he's a romantic at heart. he wants his first time, be it with annabeth or nico ( or someone else ), to be perfect. ]
[ nico's got about as much control over the situation as percy does. with each shift of their hips, with each noise that spills from percy's mouth, nico wants to keep going. to go and go and go and not stop, ever. his own dick is about as hard as it can get now, gradually leaving a wet spot on his pajama pants as precome seeps from the tip. if he had any idea what might be going on in percy's mind at that moment, he would readily agree. shout yes and yes and yes and yes. but he doesn't know and really, that's okay because if he did, he might just come then and there. not very sexy at all. not when he's supposed to be guiding this.
he has to releases a slow breath, try to regain his senses again when percy responds. the first thing percy says does make him flinch, makes bitterness and betrayal well up in his chest and hurt shows in his eyes. but the hand at his wrist restrains him and he realizes percy has more to say. his palm is placed against percy's heart where nico can feel percy's rib cage vibrate against the beating of his heart. he doesn't even bother to hide the way he gasps in response, stares at percy with wide eyes.
does it mean what he thinks it means? nico isn't sure. most of the time, he has a good measure of percy's intentions. it's hard not to when percy is simple that way. some aspects of him will never change. but this... nico trembles as his mouth opens and closes. he doesn't want to voice out loud the three words that have been hanging on his tongue, so he bites his lip again, waiting for percy to continue. when he does, nico isn't disappointed.
in a way, percy's insistence that this be... special has nico coloring but also thinking about how much it endears him to percy. the son of poseidon has come to a place that he cares enough to want this first time to be important. there's no way nico can fault him for that.
once more, the wry smile forms on his lips and he leans forward enough to press his forehead against percy's. he still holds the other boy's gaze and his fingers traipse their way down to percy's waistband. they pluck at the fabric, but don't pull down the cloth just yet. ]
I understand. I want it to mean something too. You are... Gods, Percy, you're the person I've always wanted to do this with. I stayed by your side because- Because the thought of not being near you is just-
[ he gives his head a rapid shake. ]
But... I'm willing to wait. If that's what you'd prefer. I've waited a long time, it won't hurt to wait a little longer.
[ wouldn't that be something? if nico's the one that loses total control of himself first. percy would probably still think it was hot. he doesn't hold as tightly to the idea that he's inadequate because he's less experienced. obviously, they're both having a good time. it's a nice little boost to his ego. he can do something right. the city doesn't need him to leap into action, doesn't need his quips in the face of adversaries, but apparently this he can do without screwing it up somehow.
maybe that's wrong.
maybe he is screwing with nico's head, leading him on, giving him hope with his hand over percy's heart. they don't have a future. nico is with the son of apollo and he's happy, and percy is with the daughter of athena, also happy. or will be, some day, when this is all over.
where can this possibly go between them? what's he even doing besides holding a shovel and burying them both deeper and deeper in this hole? it can't go anywhere. it never will. but nico's staring at him with those same dark eyes that have demanded a promise from him in the past ( he's done the same to nico - twice, actually ), and he can't seem to find the strength to pry his hand away.
somewhere aphrodite and cupid are high-fiving and drinking mojitos. percy hates them.
nico leans forward and bumps their foreheads together and it's such a small affectionate gesture that it makes his chest feel tight. how does he know percy needs that from him in that moment? it's likely he needs the contact just as much. it's funny though, to imagine nico as the kind of person that needs anything from anyone. that's an old perception, he reminds himself, and it's only a part of who the son of hades is. he can go it alone, that doesn't mean that he wants to. percy owes it to nico not to hide from him and so he doesn't look away, doesn't glance down to follow the path nico's fingers are taking. he remains steady, touches their noses together, but doesn't kiss him. if not kissing and not touching is their way out of the hole, then percy feels himself slipping, unable to find purchase on the walls as long as nico's playing with his boxers.
don't lean into him, don't move. the instructions are quite simple to follow once he's caught off guard by what's being confessed to him. it's his turn to try on the wide-eyed look. he knows that nico has feelings for him and that it's been a winding and confusing journey and he's had to find his footing on his own. he knows that nico must have struggled endlessly, wanting to be near percy but also not wanting to be anywhere near him, all the while hoping that maybe, some day, under the right circumstances that he might reciprocate. he knows because it's how he'd felt for annabeth, waiting, too uncertain of his own feelings to ever make a move. never knowing if he'd live through the next day, let alone to see the prophecy play out. hearing that he's the person nico's always wanted to be with intimately just makes his ears turn red. he has to say something with nico shaking his head like that. ]
Hey. I told you already. I'm not going anywhere. [ if he needs reminding, so be it. looking at nico, he does his best imitation of a guy that has his head together. ] You were pretty good at cards once, right? Play these ones right and maybe it won't be that long.
[ feel free to smack him in the head with a pillow any time, nico. ]
[ he can go it alone when he's forced to. had been for a while here in eudio because he never thought he'd be here in this moment. until will showed up, nico figured he'd have to rely on himself to go after what he wanted and needed in order to accomplish his goal. it was only after meeting loki that it became something he truly enjoyed. because all of a sudden, he's wanted and needed. something he'd felt, even when he'd finally settled in at camp. and now, he feels it even more having percy under him, clearly hard and as eager as he is.
if he's getting led on, nico no longer cares. intellectually, he already knows that this can't last. that it'll never be what he really wants. he's long since accepted that, before they even kissed. but nico is selfish, he knows he is deep down, and he wants to experience this for as long as it's possible. if he can have one scrap of percy, maybe even one small part of his heart, nico will be satisfied. it would be more than he'd ever expected.
and it feels good like this, even if they're no moving in the same desperate way they had moments ago. just with his forehead pressed to percy's, their breaths mingling as they breathe and speak. his fingers continue their slow traipsing along the band of percy's boxers and he feels the smallest smile form on his lips.
until percy says that.
the first reaction is a groan and not one of pleasure. it's followed by a very visible roll of his eyes and he certainly is tempted to smack the son of poseidon with a pillow. he only manages to abstain by sitting up. his eyes go darker skill and the annoyed frown soon shifts into something much more lascivious. if percy wants to play that way, well... nico is more than game. ]
I still am, you know.
[ his voice is a low murmur full of danger and promise and he flattens his palms against percy's abdomen, slides them against bare skin and under percy's body to grab handfuls of percy's cheeks. his own body rolls against percy's again. ]
And I don't think it would take much for me to get you to fold, Percy.
[ that's him. that's who he is. not to the same extent as leo, but it's the same general idea. percy will always try and lighten the mood if he can, which is a step-up from the insecure kid he used to be. the guy that spent so much time looking backwards, second guessing himself, being an unpredictable to himself as he was to his enemies. surviving the titan wars, losing his friends, and bearing witness to luke's sacrifice with only annabeth and grover at his side had shaped him. he knows exactly what he is and is not capable of. his strengths have been less visible than his shortcomings lately, but he's working on that.
he's trying to cut through the sexual tension between them because nico's still perched on him and his fingers are traveling and he really. just. can't deal with that. maybe if he kills the mood, it'll be easier. it's a great plan! a perfect strategy and he actually believes it's having the desired effect. nico looks exasperated ( why are you this way, percy? ) and he grins sheepishly, but he's not that sorry.
scratch that. he's feeling progressively more sorry when he catches the change in nico's eyes and his voice, the charge in the atmosphere. he tries to backpedal, something like: ] How could you forget?
[ but then nico's palms are on his skin and he inhales sharply in surprise. there's relief too. it's as if nico's ignited a fire that won't be quelled. his touch isn't void of heat like the underworld, but to percy he runs a little cooler in comparison and the contrast is nice since he feels like he's overheating. it's such a sudden and drastic change, going from bumping foreheads to nico grabbing his ass and grinding against him. he has zero guard. his mouth opens when he moans and his expression morphs - frowning, but not. struggling to sit still. he's overwhelmed by the pleasure and it's overriding the need to know where they stand. there's no filtering the way his eyes darken, or how his breathless honesty comes across. his good intentions are corroding.
percy can't keep his hands off of nico. they're going in circles where he relents and returns like the tide. he glides his palms up nico's sides, thumbs spread out across his stomach. his sea green eyes likely look black in this light but he's following every inch his fingertips map out with his gaze. ]
I'd let you win. [ let him? he's already winning. if this is a game, everything's going in his favor. it's with that realization that percy drags his hand south, down his stomach, straight to the front of his pajama pants. he's still nervous but he's less afraid of messing up, more willing to learn as he goes. he knows what feels good to him, so he's going with something like that. he rubs his palm along the length of nico's bulge and squeezes him lightly as he he traces his fingers and thumb back up, cupping him. percy's not above grinding against the back of his hand as he touches nico either, not this far along. ] I don't care. I'd let you.
Edited (quietly edits now that someone isn't hovering over my shoulder) 2017-03-27 10:27 (UTC)
[ the hands on his skin, percy's hands on his skin make him feel on fire. it's a warmth he rarely experiences because unlike what most people think, the underworld is not filled with fire. it's cold in most places and thus its denizens often run just as cold, nico included. but here, now, he feels hot, overheating, but not in the way the phlegethon burns. it's just the right kind of searing sensation that speeds through his veins, enhanced further still when percy's fingers and palm caress him just right.
but more than all that, it's the honesty with which percy reacts. the way he responds to nico and the way he holds no sound back. percy seems to have forgotten that they're not alone in the apartment and nico finds that so-fucking-hot because that means he's gotten inside percy's brain in such a way to ensure complete distraction. it's all him, the son of hades, and he has percy wrapped around his fingers.
when will he have an opportunity like this again? when will nico get the chance to have percy like this? he tries not to think about what will come later, what kind of awkwardness or discussions might arise. right now, all nico wants is to get him and percy off.
so he grinds himself against percy's palm with a noise not unlike a purr and leans forward again to lick a stripe along percy's collarbone. ]
Good. Because I want you, Percy Jackson.
[ he sucks a bruise into percy's skin, keeping the pace of their rolling hips and then pulls away again. ]
he can't make noises like that ( ones that go straight to his dick ) and he can't grind against him because he can feel the friction even with his hand in the way. he throws his head back when nico licks his collarbone because it's too good. it's like a dream. it doesn't feel real at all. like this is something that's happening between them in reality. maybe that's what sex is like in the dark of a bedroom, maybe it's supposed to feel like a dirty secret. ( and it does feel dirty in a way, knowing will's in the next bedroom, knowing annabeth is probably waiting for him at home because even if people at home aren't supposed to know they're missing, annabeth would. ) he's already more than a little delirious when nico tells him he wants him and calls him by his full name. ]
I'm not- [ yours? is that what he wants to say? is that what he means anymore? he jerks his hips and cries out when nico marks him. he knows without looking that it's bright red, it might even be purple later. that bruise is wrong, but it just feeds into that insecurity in his head. yes, he pushed annabeth away. yes, he betrayed her. yes, he's the reason why she didn't want to be near him, and yet, nico does. that's the one resonating detail. he doesn't blame annabeth ( he hates himself ) but if nico wants him, then at least somebody still thinks he's worthy of something. ] I'm not going to make it that far, Nico.
[ he feels his stomach tighten, his thighs tremble from the force of trying to hold back. nico stops rolling against him and he grunts in frustration, squinting at him in confusion. ]
It's in the dresser, I think, [ he knows it is because that's where he keeps a fleshlight. ] but if you touch me, I'm going to cum. I might even if you don't. I'm too close.
[ wow, percy is that close already? granted, when nico first started doing things like this, he was just the same. fooling around with will had started out with coming in his pants or even before they could get too far along. but since coming to eudio, nico's endurance has managed to grow, allowing him to hold back for longer periods of time. not that he isn't far from climaxing now. he'd need a bit more of a push, but he's less focused on himself right now and more focused on percy.
and he's very intently focused on percy at the moment. he's tempted to roll his hips again, just one more time to see if that really would push the son of poseidon over the edge. but he also wants the whole thing. he wants to show percy how amazing it feels to be pressed close, connected, and what it's like to be completely enveloped by another person. in essence, he wants to feel percy inside him and wonders if he can manage to keep him from coming until then. that is, if it's something percy wants at all.
so he pushes up on his knees and pulls away from percy. he holds the other demigod's gaze as he reaches over towards the dresser and then licks his lips. ]
Oh, I'm not going to touch you. I'm going to make you watch me for a bit.
[ with that said, he quickly retrieves the lube and then shimmies out of the rest of his clothes before straddling percy again, giving him a full view of his body (including the bow and arrow tattoo on his hip) as he flips open the cap of the lube and smears a dollop over his fingers. ]
Think you can hold off or would you rather come in my mouth?
[ he's being his filthiest now, not even caring what he might sound like, if he might be shocking percy with his manner of speech. his dick is hard and leaking precome, curving up towards his abdomen. he wants and wants and wants so much that he's past the point of caring about anything else but this. and with the way percy continues to react to everything he says and does, stopping now would be a shame.
( not that he won't if that's what percy wants. he knows the son of posiedon has a lot on his mind, but he'd really like to wipe that mind clean of anything but pleasure, if only for a little while. ) ]
[ of course he's that close. he's older (physically, or he used to be ), he's been in a relationship longer, and whatever that's supposed to mean basically amounts to nothing here. percy feels starved for physical contact and it's a small hunger that's been getting bigger and bigger from the second he told annabeth what happened. what started as one mistake has turned into a series of bad decisions; what may have never happened again keeps happening because annabeth's gone.
he has to be intimate with someone. has to hold hands, has to touch someone. he has to do something if he wants to stay in eudio and have his wish granted. it doesn't have to be nico, and yet, percy's drawn to him. his persistence. those dark eyes. he's trying to look into them now because nico's talking about making percy watch him and that idea blooms to life in his mind. it's all he can think about, which is bad. thinking about nico touching himself again. yeah, again, because this isn't the first time he's seen nico like this.
he still remembers walking in on him.
the difference here is that he can stare without getting a nosebleed by smacking his face into the door frame. logic tells him to look away. percy tells logic to go to tartarus because there's a real naked person in front of him and not far away on a screen. then nico's on top of him again with his dick out, rubbing lube onto his fingers, and talking so dirty that percy whines. the thought of nico stroking his dick or stretching himself open with his fingers coupled with the prospect of coming in his mouth is way too much. ]
You're putting a lot of faith in my terrible impulse control. [ the guy with the kneejerk reaction to give his word isn't about to right now. ] I can try? No promises.
[ he brushes his thumb over nico's bow and arrow tattoo and tries not to think of bianca. he's trying to do a lot of things at once. he inhales slowly to measure his breathing, to attempt to calm down a little. it's not really working, but it's worth a shot. percy covers nico's hand with his own ( the one with lube on it ) and holds his gaze steadily. whatever timidness or awkwardness he has is masked by how turned on he is. he guides nico's hand lower, not necessarily pushing him but encouraging him. ]
Show me. I want to watch you. I've wanted to for awhile. [ wow, good job. he has been watching nico, stealing glances, here and there. trying not to be obvious. wondering if this is just him, if nico's thinks percy is someone he wants because he's wanted him for so long that he has to see it through. he's been wondering since the kiss in his bedroom, if it's going to happen again. when. not fantasizing exactly, but it's a small apartment, and their lives are relatively simple here. there's not a lot else to think about in a city that wants its citizens to touch each other. with that admission ( which nico is free to interpret however he wants ), percy flashes his best disarming smile. ] Show me what you like.
the way percy says it, breathless and holding his gaze, steals away his breath. since this started, nico's known that percy must want him on some level. maybe not emotionally, but certainly physically. percy is attracted to him and it's been a realization that nico repeats over and over in his mind because he never would've thought it was possible. in his mind, percy has always been 100% straight as a stick and seeing that this is blatantly false to such enormous proportions goes straight to nico's head. and to his dick.
how long, he wonders. how long is awhile? since that first kiss? since percy walked in on him? gods, now he's wondering just how long percy had stood there watching him. he wonders what percy might think if he'd known nico was imagining him at that moment.
he doesn't have to imagine now. percy's hands are on his, slowly lowering to his cock and nico has to bite a lip to withhold sound. it doesn't work and soon a whine similar to percy's is muffled behind his lips. he entwines his slick fingers with percy's and positively gasps when their hands reach his dick. the next sound he makes is caused by the shuddering breath he inhales as he watches percy through lidded eyes. ]
Like this. [ he guides both their hands around his erection with percy's hands underneath his own. he wants percy to feel the way he throbs for him, to feel how hard he is. against his flushed cheeks, his dark lashes flutter. the enormity of it all is almost too much to take. percy jackson's hand is on his cock and it feels amazing. ] I like it when I'm touched.
[ and he guides percy's hand in the first upward stroke. percy's hand is rough from handling weapons for so long, but it doesn't matter. it's perfect. ]
[ want doesn't quite do what percy feels justice. it's driving him crazy and it's as if he's a few years younger again and he can't keep his hands off of himself. no matter what he does, his mind wanders. where that second kiss could have gone if he hadn't stopped it. but even before then, he'd been curious. maybe not with lust leading it, but still. he's a young guy with access to the internet and that led to research that ( looking back on now ) wasn't research at all.
percy jackson is attracted to nico di angelo, and it is what it is.
he is who he is and if he's bisexual, then so be it.
if nico asked him his questions now, he'd answer, like this. he can't think about anything else outside of his bedroom. nico's on top of him, completely naked, and it's certainly different than a girl without any clothes on. sharp edges instead of curves. his scars go hand-in-hand with percy's. it's intimidating, sure, seeing how hard nico's dick is - for him - and knowing what he expects of him, but that's why he's letting nico guide him. he wants to make him feel good. he doesn't want to screw this up by being awful at it.
nico's watching him, gasping, and maybe he's not so terrible. he's torn between wanting to watch nico's reactions, how he shudders, and glancing down at their hands. nico's fingers are wet on top of his and his aren't slick enough, it doesn't distract him from how turned on nico is because of percy. his hand slides down and he's not physically getting anything out of it but he still hums. a deep mmh as nico continues to talk to him and throbs in his palm. it affects him visually and mentally, and he'd be lying if he said that his partner's pleasure wasn't more important to him than his own, anyway. he guides percy and while he's doing that, percy reaches for the bottle of lube, then uncaps it with his other hand. this may not happen again. they may not get another chance at this and percy wants to do it right, which means when he gets to tip of nico's dick, he lets him go. he's not stopping. he's squeezing a little more lube onto his own fingers and rubbing it around, warming it up on his skin and gazing up at nico as he does it. ]
Yeah? You want my hands on you? [ far be it for percy to deny him that. he curls his fingers around nico's length again, resuming where he left off by stroking down, then turning his wrist to glide back up. it's slow. partially because he's trying to find a steady pace but also because it's to tease nico as much as he's torturing himself. he has instructions to watch. he plans to follow them, no matter how uncomfortably hard he is. he abandons the bottle of lube at his side in the sheets in order to reach for nico's hip, only he keeps his hand traveling around him. he doesn't stop until his palm's on nico's ass, cupping one of his cheeks. he has to lean forward a little but that's okay. ] How many times have you thought about this?
[ about them, about his hands on nico, about having sex with percy. he means all of it. he doesn't care how needy that sounds, how obvious it is that he wants to know the truth. he speeds up his ministrations, less concerned with how into this he is, like if he drives nico wild enough, he'll answer anything, too. ]
[ how many times has he thought about this? nico isn't sure he can answer that question. especially not once percy's fingers wrap around his dick while his other hand settles on nico's ass. more. his mind whispers. yes, please because the truth is, nico's through about this since he hit puberty. he's thought about this since his body was developed enough to understand what lust can do. the desire has resonated in his bones since the night of his very first wet dream, has settled in his brain since the moment he could look at percy's lips and think to himself how much he's wanted them pressed against his own.
but for just about the same amount of time, nico knew it would never be a possibility. he knew that percy would always be devoted to annabeth and he knew that between betrayal and distrust, his own fear of his sexuality and more, getting close to percy was practically impossible. he's dreamt of moments like this far more than he can count, but always with the belief it would never happen. he's always thought it would forever be a shameful, unspoken need.
it's happening now and it's still hard to believe. the way percy looks at him, eyes dark in the low light of the room and darker still due to lust. percy's eyes on his body are like hot trails that he wishes would leave marks because when it all ends, he wants proof that it happened. he wants to make sure that this is not just something happening in the dark spaces of his head and that he won't wake up in the morning with the need to explain to will why the sheets are wet. ( how embarrassing would that be? ) ]
Yes, I want your hands on me. [ ( all over, everywhere ) and he rocks his hips into percy's hand. as the son of poseidon sits up, draws closer, his hands find purchase in percy's hair and he leans closer too, seeking out percy's mouth with his own. if he can get close enough, he breathe against percy's lips, mewl for him, card his fingers through dark strands before answering. ]
I've thought about it so much- Gods, Percy... [ it's another whine, a plea for more. ] I've thought about it so many times...
[ his voice is interrupted frequently by the gasps that escape him when percy's hand twists around his cock, the pace so teasing and much too slow. he needs more, feels the desire ringing in his bones again, like it has so many times. only this time, he's not alone with his hand. he's not by himself, without anyone to touch him. he's not hidden away with the belief that this could only be a dream. ]
I've wanted so much more. I want- I've wanted to feel you inside me.
[ what nico's saying and how he looks rocking into percy's hand coaxes a part of him out that he hasn't had to deal with very often. beneath the need to see what the next touch does, or to hear more about nico's fantasies, he wants to give in to everything. he wants to let go of his reservations and find out if fantasy is as great as the reality. and he doesn't care if that means being surrounded in darkness and being unable to get out. when nico runs his fingers through his hair and kisses him, he realizes there isn't a fiber in his body that wants to escape. when did that happen? when did he start wanting nico like this? since the first kiss? after?
his whine is deafening in percy's ears, similar to his confessions.
now he doesn't have to stand in a doorway, wondering what nico looks like without his many layers on. he doesn't have to watch from a distance. he can look for as long as he wants without having to find an excuse to look away. he gets to be the one with his hand around nico's dick drawing these reactions out of him and he gets to be the one on his mind and in front of him. it does more for his confidence than he'll admit. he's not really a possessive guy because he's always been sure of the people around him and in his life, but there's a rush of it that shoots through him when nico says he's wanted percy inside of him.
that train of thought makes it difficult to remember that he's afraid of anything. it's his reckless side.
he kisses nico again, hard on the mouth, like he wants to consume every gasping secret nico has. it doesn't linger, doesn't transform into a deeper kiss because percy refuses to shut his eyes or take his gaze off of nico. ]
When I walked in on you that time, who were you thinking about? [ it's not a desperate question and as if to prove that he's not stopping, regardless of what the answer may be, he stops experimenting. stops teasing nico with slow, questioning strokes. he twists his wrist for a better angle now that they're sitting up and focuses on his tip - it's a little different, considering nico isn't circumcised like percy is, but not by that much. ] I was standing there long enough for it to be weird. I wanted to watch you.
[ as if to serve as proof of those words, he drops his gaze between them, close as they are, to watch how his fingers glide down. how the pad of his thumb's pressed against the underside of nico's dick while his other fingers curl around him. he bites his own bottom lip to keep himself quiet, but he can't keep his hips down, and he's obviously terrible at following instructions. what self-control?
he pulls his hand away from nico's ass to tug his boxers down as far as he can without sacrificing too much contact. it takes some maneuvering ( and he risks a few seconds stalling his ministrations ) to yank them down to his thighs. if he's embarrassed by how turned on he is, how his cock is arching, or how nico's probably looking at him, he does a good job at keeping that close to his chest. they're close enough together that percy thinks putting his thumb around his own erection and pressing nico's against his with his fingers just might work. he's already halfway towards accomplishing that when he hesitates, meeting nico's eyes. ]
[ by the time percy's really getting into stroking his cock, nico is all but writhing in his lap. once more, his head tilts back to expose his throat and when he swallows, his adam's apple bobs. he can't help it. percy has this much affect on him and nico can feel himself slowly going mad as a result.
normally, he's so reserved, prone to keeping his expressions and emotions locked away where only the shadows might find them. normally, only anger and bitterness are enough to evoke anything out of him. but now, percy has him giving up his secrets with a twist of his wrist, with a squeeze of his hand, with the press of his thumb. how can he expect to keep anything from the son of poseidon when percy now has so much control over him. and does percy even realize it? how easily it would be for percy to have him coming apart at the seams, his soul laid bare? that part of him hasn't seen daylight since he'd grasped the soul of bryce lawrence and ripped the life out of him before sending the other demigod to the darkest parts of the underworld. only now it's not hate and anger and pain and suffering driving him, it's need and desire and above all, love.
he can't let percy know that. he can't let percy see into his heart like that. but if percy asked...
it's almost frightening, but in some ways, that just intensifies everything. makes the sensation of percy's thumb on his tip seem better than nectar on his lips. makes the way percy's palm drags against his foreskin feel more encapsulating than the comfort of the shadows. makes the way feeling the heat of percy's skin feel hotter than a fire. and when percy asks him that first question, a full body tremble passes through him followed by an abrupt gasp. ]
Di immortales-!
[ not quite shouted. he has the presence of mind to keep his voice down a little, but it's a sign that both percy's words and his touch are having their desired affect.
( i wanted to watch you ) hearing that draws an italian plea from nico's lips. ] I- It was you. It's pretty much always you...
[ not entirely the truth. nowadays, it's also will and loki and a few other people he's met in eudio. but before he got close to the son of apollo, it had most certainly always been percy.
and then percy is shifting under him, pulling away and yet another italian plea, this time more desperate, escapes him. once percy is fully undressed, though, it's worth it. because his eyes meet percy's and he can tell without looking what percy has in mind. to feel percy's arousal against his own... the thought is mindblowing and he most certainly wants it. ]
Percy-! Un-mmpf. [ one of the most undignified noises he's ever made, but by this point, he's to far along to care. ] Y-yeah. Yeah.
[ whether it's still true now or not, hearing that it’s always him works like a charm. the admission hits him like a brick to the face. it isn’t painful but it’s so sudden that he can’t conceal how it affects him. with it comes an ache so intense that he moans, brows drawn in, too lured in now to turn back. nico’s speaking italian and percy has no idea what he’s saying, other than the first cry, and if any of it’s more than nonsensical rambling. his tone doesn’t leave much to question though, because it sounds like he’s begging, like he wants more. and just like that, there’s nothing he wants more than to be the one to satisfy nico. to give him exactly what he wants, which is probably about as hazardous as percy asking him questions to sate his curiosity when nico’s as stripped bare as he is.
he shuts his eyes when their dicks finally do touch because the relief is too sweet to try and fight. it’s short-lived. because- ]
Ah- gods, that's amazing. [ changes very quickly once his eyes are open again and he’s struggling to keep them that way, to watch as he rubs their tips together. it’s not enough. he can’t hang with the slow pace, no matter how slick his fingers are. he wants to know what it feels like to stroke both of their dicks at the same time, if it’s as good as when he’s alone. if it’s better. pacing himself isn’t exactly an option, but he tries. he has to readjust his grip a couple times to keep them flush together when his palm is sliding down, because he can’t stop the way he jerks up into his hand and against nico.
being quiet is the last thing on his mind ( sorry, will ) and he doesn’t bite back or swallow any of the pants ( he feels like he’s hyperventilating ) or the grunts that tumble through his lips.
his hand leaves nico’s rear to cup the back of his neck and yank him into a devouring kiss. if he pulls him down in the process, he doesn’t care. percy wants nico’s mouth on him. he wants to taste his name on his tongue. he wants to feel every noise vibrating against his mouth. he needs to. he can't catch his breath, but he finds it within himself to break the kiss. he doesn't give nico any of his space back, doesn't let him retreat. ] Say it again? Tell me it's - mmn - me.
[ not that it will be easy, considering he's chasing nico's lips already. ]
[ with the way percy's chasing his lips, his body shifts and rocks against the son of poseidon's. his hips jerk forward and like when their dicks had been pressed flush together, nico's lashes flutter against flushed cheeks. the way percy grips him, it's hard to think. hard to string words together. frankly, nico's mind has gone a little blank about now.
he doesn't want to close his eyes, even though they seem to on their own. he wants to watch the way percy's face flushes, his mouth parts in moans. he wants to see how crazy he's driving percy because if it's anything like what percy is making him feel right now, surely he's going mad.
this pace, this motion of their bodies... it suits them. when they kiss again, it's like the tide surging in towards the shore and nico accepts the kiss without hesitation. nothing matters now but this. there's nothing he wants more in this moment.
slowly, one hand slides its way up percy's chest to settle a palm against his neck. nico's fingers grip at the nape and he turns his head just enough that when percy ducks in again, their lips brush but he's soon mouthing along percy's jaw. his other hand drops to their laps where he curls his fingers around percy's hand to help him out a little.
if percy wants him to say it again, he doesn't need to ask. nico releases a huffed laugh, followed by a moan as he gives his head a short nod. ]
[ he gasps when they break apart, appeased only by the smear of their lips. frustration flares up in him briefly, erased by nico’s mouth on his jaw. if it’s his goal to sear every memory and every thought out of percy’s mind, then it’s working. he’s grateful for the hand at the nape of his neck not because he’s considering cutting this short and running away, but because he feels like every touch, every emotion flickering between them is too intense for him to land softly. he’s going to fall and he’s going to hit the ground with a resounding thud.
if nico wasn’t holding him together, his head would tip back when he covers percy’s hand. his assistance keeps percy on track and stops him from being overwhelmed and slowing down.
for someone that isn’t in love, he’s pretty greedy. the next groan is strangled. ( is it possible to choke on emotions? ) it seems to tear out of him, suddenly and with as much of a waver as the tremors down his spine, in his thighs. he’s trying really hard not to come but he doesn’t see how he can last much longer, especially when he can’t pull up a distracting image in his head. everything slips away from him. there’s only nico, sitting on him, close but not close enough, telling him what he wants to hear.
( and percy wants to tell nico that he's beautiful. that he's so hot like this, that his kisses make him feel like he's intoxicated. he's putty in his hands. that percy wants him. him. he wants nico, not because he's there, not because he's lonely, not because he's convenient. he wants him because he does. because it's a thought that's gotten more and more tangled in his head, in his dreams, since that first kiss. ) ]
Shit, Nico. Ohmyguh—fuck! Don't stop. Please don't stop. Don't ever stop touching me. [ his strokes are firmer, from the base to the tips of their cocks, but faster if nico allows it. he does lean into nico's hand then, propped up but baring his throat. if nico feels like percy is trying to guide him face first towards his throat, he's not wrong. ] I nh—need you to..
[ bite me, kiss me, fuck me. he doesn't care anymore.
( and it shows in his eyes when he can keep them open. ) ]
[ he's falling apart at the seams. coming unraveled, dissolving, disintegrating. or at least it seems like his mind is. he can't think beyond the way percy's hand squeezes around him. beyond the way percy's cock, pressed against his own, throbs. nothing else exists beyond this. beyond the feel of percy's pulse thrumming under his fingers when he drags his hand forward and up to cup his jaw. beyond the way their hips move. and when he ducks forward, his lips drag across sweaty flesh with his lower lip catching on percy's adam's apple to slick across that taut skin. he breaths in the son of poseidon, glorifies in his scent and the way percy begs to him.
it's all a natural consequence of having held back for so long, of having to keep his emotions dammed behind a wall of anger and self-loathing. percy has not only put cracks in that way, but he's shattered it. exposed nico's inner core and making him an utter mess as he trembles atop percy's lap. his croons get louder, regardless of his boyfriend sleeping in the next room over, and his breathing is so punctuated that it's a wonder his lungs haven't stopped working. ]
Yes, uhn, gods. Percy, Percy, so uhm, so close.
[ with that dam having crumbled completely, nico begs without thought, without fear, without any semblance of self-consciousness. this is what percy jackson does to him. this is how much percy jackson has insinuated himself into his heart. he wants percy with every fiber of his being, so much that it hurts but in the way that feels so fucking good.
as percy's hand moves faster, so does his, and he can feel that coiling in the pit of his stomach heralding his climax. it's only the look he sees in percy's eyes that does it.
( the look he's wanted to see since he was old enough to understand its meaning. the way he's always wanted percy to look at him. )
choking on a cry that is muffled against percy's throat, he gives in. his orgasm hits hard, and nico is lost in the crashing waves of pleasure and emotion that have surged forth from that very wall behind which he's been keeping all his thoughts and feelings. ]
[ he's suddenly in over his head in the river styx again, losing his grip on everything that ever mattered to him. his memories, the sound of sally's laughter, blue candy, annabeth. maybe it isn’t as painful, or as drastic. maybe his soul isn’t at risk of being ripped from his body, but nico puts his mouth on percy and burns the very last ounce of resistance from him. whatever he pulls out of those waters is what’s left. he reaches for nico now like he didn’t then, clutching at him as hard as his fingers had scraped that cliffside above tartarus. he won’t let go.
percy doesn’t think he can this time.
mostly because nico’s coming apart in his lap, shaking, saying his name. revealing parts of himself that percy has never seen before, and hadn’t known existed. it’s mostly that.
( he won’t say it’s how his eyes aren’t terrifying like the pitch black of night, that they’re comforting like sitting on the roof watching the stars. they’re that kind of dark. and he won’t say it’s because kissing nico makes him forget what’s wrong, or that he likes rolling over and finding him there, even if all he’s doing is checking in before he leaves. he definitely won’t so much as think that nico’s touch is what he’s been craving for some time now. )
when nico comes with a badly disguised cry into his skin, percy isn’t far behind him at all. he slows the pace of his hand, working nico through his orgasm for a few strokes, before he eases off and takes his own dick in hand. it doesn’t take much for him. he’s been on the verge of his own climax for what feels like forever now, so with a few measured twists of his wrist and the right press of his fingers, it rocks through him almost violently.
nothing about it is quiet. not the huffed breaths, not the drawn out groan. he’s already forgotten himself, sorry nico. ( and sorry, will, if he’s awake now. ) his voice feels raw, his throat, as he heaves for air. he trades his grasp on nico’s hip to rub over his face, whispers something like fuuuck because it’s the most intelligible word he can shape. he can't look at nico yet, but when he does ( if he does ), he's afraid his thoughts will be written on his face. ]
[ it doesn't even matter that percy isn't looking at him. if he had been, nico still wouldn't noticed. his own eyes are closed and his mouth is agape because breathing through his nose just isn't enough for how he feels right now. his veins feel like they're on fire, but in a better way than what drinking from the phlegethon feels like. his entire body feels like a string of a guitar, vibrating pleasantly and thrumming as if he's been plucked.
it's a metaphor that's not too far from the truth. percy has made pleasure bloom in his blood better than any flower ever created by his step-mother. it's why he's panting, leaning into percy so their foreheads meet. he barely registers that percy has come as well, and as the realization settles inside him, making itself known, he slowly opens his eyes.
but it's the drawn out curse that really draws his attention. finally, he looks up at percy with flushed features, dark and sweaty curls clinging to his features, and lips plump from having been kissed and bitten. in essence, he looks well fucked. percy, meanwhile, looks glorious. the pinch of his brows above the hand covering the rest of his features gives nico a small idea of what he must be feeling.
the problem is that the expression is hard to read. was it good? he wonders. sure, percy came, but that's not hard when you're a teenager. what nico wants to know now is if percy had enjoyed it. if it was something that percy liked. and maybe if it was something percy would like to repeat in the future.
licking his lips, he exhales as slowly as he can and surreptitiously wipes his hand clean on the comforter under them. ]
Heh, wow... [ another look is chanced at percy's covered features. ] So...?
[ his teeth sink into his lower lip as he watches the son of poseidon. say something, he silently wills him, hoping all the while that percy won't kick him out of bed. ]
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he's still incredibly turned on, of course. even more so now that percy's warm hands are gliding along his torso, jostling the camp beads around his throat. his breath hitches and he has to swallow hard because he can feel his nipples tighten and the look percy gives him makes him tremble again. he wonders vaguely how he looks in percy's eyes and what he's thinking, but for as much as he might tease percy about having kelp for brains or the like, percy is as complicated as they come. he has depth like the ocean from whence his power comes and nico will never not be astonished by what he sees in percy's eyes.
percy might not think he's enough, that he's just some regular guy who's had to carry more weight than a person should ever rightly be burdened with, but nico knows what that weight feels like and he wants to help percy carry it. so, dragging his fingers out of percy's hair, he allows hilt-callused fingers trail along percy's jaw. across percy's lips as he licks his own. he rolls his hips up against percy's and then slowly shakes his head.
if this is percy's first time... well, shouldn't it be with someone he loves? isn't that what percy has always wanted? nico remembers the sunny day in camp when percy had been so elated by the acceptance annabeth had given him to the idea of going together to new rome. and though the memory makes him feel like his heart is being squeezed, nico can't bring himself to ruin anything like that between percy and annabeth. they truly do belong together and if he can just be a part of percy's heart while she dominates the rest, he would be content with that.
carefully, and if percy allows it, nico flexes his thighs, intending to guide percy onto his back. if percy's comfortable with it, he'll settle atop percy's lap and lean over him, holding his gaze. he knows just how much pressure has been placed on percy's shoulders through the years. part of that had been his fault in expecting a thirteen-year-old to protect his sister as if percy were someone to set on a pedestal. but he knows what it's like to bear the scars of tartarus, knows that being a demigod means being thrust into situations you can't control, can't choose. in this case, he wants percy to have the chance to decide for himself. ]
Or... I can take care of you. [ his voice is far more sturdy than he'd expected, especially considering how breathless percy has made him. ] What do you want?
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get it together, jackson. ]
No, [ he says with perfect clarity, attention back on nico. ] I'm not using you. I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me just because I'm hard. [ yes, he knows there's more to it than that for nico but it doesn't sit right with him, like somehow because he's more experienced it's okay for him to get percy off but not the other way around.
his stare is strange as if the question catches him off guard. what does he want? that's a thing? he sighs, wondering how it is that nico does that. he cuts through everything else and gets right to the point. he doesn't ramble on or waste his words and he's always been that way. so sure of his choice even in the midst of chaos. he knows what he wants, it's easy for him to answer that. percy, not so much. ]
I don't know. [ helpful! ] I don't want it to be one-sided. I want us both to enjoy this, or I don't want anything. [ so many people have taken things from nico. bianca took his hope for a family, hades took away his hope for learning about his past, percy took him for granted for a long time, and then there's cupid, taking his chance to decide for himself how he wants to accept himself. he doesn't want to add to that. he doesn't want to keep pushing and pulling because nico can bend without breaking.
he brushes his fingers across nico's waistband, contemplating dropping his palm and covering his erection with it. he's strongly considering it, but he hesitates. percy wants to hear what he has to say because he usually has a reasonable solution for all parties. he's good at that. ]
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it's flattering, of course. and a little bit dorky the way percy's immediate thought is that nico is willing to let himself be used for percy's sake. nico does have a record of doing that, doing what he thinks is the right or necessary thing to do in order to keep percy jackson alive ( because nico always thought that losing him, even if he might never truly have him would be just as earth shattering as losing bianca had been. ) however, that's not the case here. and nico's lips quirk because it's the way percy obviously cares for him, worries even, and nico finds himself smiling just a fraction. all affectionate and just a little bit wry. it's less about just getting percy off ( though he'd certainly enjoy that and would likely get off at the same time ) and more about giving percy a choice when he knows how often choices are taken from the son of poseidon. it's like how many choices have been stolen from nico and though sometimes that makes nico feel bitter and resentful, he's not going to let his own feelings get in the way of percy being able to decide for himself.
tilting his hips into the touch at his waistband and wanting nothing more than to shed the last bit of separation between them, nico only stalls enough to cup percy's cheek and nip at that lip that's been chewed on. ]
Sometimes... [ there's clear affection in his voice, but also a bit of that wry exasperation. ] What I meant was if you're really okay with this, with it being me and not, you know, Annabeth, then I'll show you what we'll do.
[ it's an out for percy, to prevent any later regrets. as much as nico wants to feel percy inside him, feel the son of the sea surging into him like the tide, he wants to make sure there will be no way percy will regret what they might do. he wants this to be for real. and not just because they're both horny.
and nico is horny. he wants nothing more than to guide percy inside him, show him how good this can feel, how incredibly groundbreaking an experience it can be. and to give just a hint of what might be coming if percy does want to continue, nico drags his palms down percy's chest before slowly cupping him through his boxers and squeezing. ]
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so maybe nico's holding back but percy's slightly lost to pleasure. he knows he needs to listen. he needs to think. but if he adjusts his hips enough, if he tugs nico forward an inch or two, then their bodes will slot together in just the right way that nico's sitting directly on top of percy's dick. the fabric's annoying, but it doesn't seem to stop him from arching up and rubbing himself against the seat of nico's pajama pants. he should probably let go of his waist, he probably shouldn't be using his grasp to push nico down on him. that's when his hand drifts and nico leans into it and pinches percy's lip with his teeth.
it hurts but it doesn't. the nip gets his attention, sort of, because there are words happening. words regarding whether he's okay with his first time being with nico instead of annabeth and it's like he's reached the surface for a moment. he's not. he's not okay with it going farther than this, not yet, because he's never imagined his first time to be with a guy, let alone nico. he still hasn't said anything ( he can't find the words ) and nico's waiting on him, albeit not patiently. his touch sears a path down percy's torso to the front of his boxers and he grunts before he can clamp his teeth down on the noise. his fingers hook in nico's waistband and he curses in greek, slides his hand to the sheets because he is listening.
he's probably going to come in his boxers, but he's listening. ]
I- [ can't breathe? ] I don't want this to stop. [ that's not an answer, is it? wait. is it? ]
You want me to be honest with you? I don't know what I'm doing. I never thought we'd be here, but we are. The scary thing is that I really like it. I want to keep touching you. I want to kiss you again. In case you missed it, I'm very, very into this, but I don't know if I'm doing it for the right reasons. [ he groans, less sexually charged and more out of frustration. ] I hate that I'm saying this, but I should know that before we... [ well, you know. he gestures vaguely, apparently too flustered to say sex out loud, never mind that they're half-naked already. ] Shouldn't I?
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when he regains a bit of himself again, one hand still on percy's boxers while the other settles on percy's bare chest, he sucks in air. his heart feels like a constant beating drum, slamming into his rib cage, and the way percy curses in words they both know forces nico to bite down on his lip to withhold a curse of his own. he lifts himself just a fraction, enough so that when percy's fingers hook into his waistband, it shifts down just enough to make the 'v' of his slim hips even more pronounced.
and then percy is talking. rambling like he does when he's overcome with emotion. nico's dark eyes find percy's, hold his gaze as percy tries to talk his way around how he feels. nico doesn't speak, still biting his own lip because part of him is afraid of what he'll hear, but another part of him needs to know.
i don't want this to stop, percy says and nico knows exactly what he means. he doesn't want this to stop either. if it does, he's not sure what state his heart will be in. it's one thing to experience outright rejection. nico's heart has long since hardened itself in preparation for that. it would've been so much easier if they'd never started this, never let it get this far, because then nico would never know what it feels like to have percy hard and needy beneath him, just as wanting as he is. so he hopes, gods he hopes and tries not to hold his breath.
i don't know if i'm doing this for the right reasons.
it doesn't actually hurt when percy puts it like that. and the blow, as gentle as it is, is softened even more by the way percy admits without hesitation just how much he wants this, wants to kiss him, wants to feel him. nico once more thrills in that knowledge. it's how he's felt about percy for so long and even getting that in return is so incredibly mindblowing that nico whimpers a little.
now, nico's hands move again. sliding over taunt panes of percy's skin, tracing firm muscles with callused fingers. it's natural to question things like this. he doesn't even begrudge percy for being uncertain. in some ways, part of nico is too. ]
Yeah. You should know. We- We can even stop if that's better.
[ he swallows because it feels like his throat is closing up, like earth and stone are caught there, and though he can still breathe, he's torn. he doesn't want to stop, but if that's what percy needs...
his eyes still haven't left percy's and he subconsciously licks his lips. ]
Tell me. [ his voice is almost impossibly soft. ] Why do you think you're doing this?
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he can feel the pre-cum pooling at the head of his cock, wetting a spot on the front of his boxers. percy squirms under nico and drops his gaze to the prominent v of his hips. he's staring. how is nico this hot? how is this fair? he knows all he has to do is say the word and nico's willing to be his for tonight, willing to go that extra step and teach him what sex is really like. his fingers flex in the sheets once they slide away and it's a miracle he doesn't say what he's thinking out loud. he doesn't know anything about sucking cock, but there's a moment where he thinks about how easy it'd be to pull nico forward, to tug the front of his pants down and try. it's such a filthy thought for him that he has to physically bind himself not to find out if he's that impulsive.
the son of hades whimpers, smooths his hands over his chest again, and percy thinks stop. stop doing that. because he can't. he doesn't know how. ]
I just need to stop touching you for a minute. [ yeah, that's going to help. he crosses his arms behind his head, pins his own arms in place because it's the only thing that stops him from reaching out. now that he knows what being with nico feels like, he can't pretend that he's not interested. he can't tell himself it's a weird situation based on circumstance and it'll pass. percy jackson wants nico di angelo, now he knows for sure. is it only the physical aspects? he wants to say yes, needs to, but there's a feeling he gets in his gut that says that's a lie. if that's true, that he's only into nico for these sensations, they would have gotten it over with already. it wouldn't mean anything, and he wouldn't feel as guilty.
he cares about nico, always has, but the extent of that concern is transforming, expanding. until now, he hasn't had to ask himself what it means. in fact, he's avoided it like the plague. nico's with will. and until they'd kissed again, it'd been easy to try and separate himself from it and focus on everything he feels regarding annabeth's departure. sparring with clarisse, running until he can't anymore, trying to exert himself physically so that there's nothing left mentally or emotionally. except at the end of the day, he still misses annabeth, and nico's still one of the only people there for him.
nico wets his lips and asks him a question, and percy worries if he answers him, he's going to lose this. think first, percy, think. ]
Because you're here. [ he says thoughtlessly, ignoring his own advice. he doesn't mean it quite like it comes across, like it's only because nico's on top of him, waiting in the wings. as if anyone will do. anyone that pursues him and kisses him and sits on top of his lap in annabeth's absence. he unfolds one arm even though it's dangerous for him, catches nico's wrist before he can shadow travel out of the room due to that really crappy explanation.
percy guides nico's hand to his heart, not really thinking about the placement on that level so much as he wants nico to feel under his fingertips what he's doing to him. ]
I've given you practically every reason not to be near me over the years and you haven't left my side. You've been here for me since the moment we got into this city. [ yeah, percy's not dumb. he knows there may be ulterior motives there, that in light of being here, a spark has been reignited in nico's heart - hope, and he's guilty of fanning that flame, of needing it to some degree because he'd felt unworthy of it. ]
If we do this, I want it to mean something. I want to be sure. I don't want it to be because of me, because I need to feel like I'm worth something to someone. [ losing annabeth is messing with his head. not talking out with her, not knowing what she feels, what she thinks, it's tearing him apart. ] Sorry, that's.. not your mess. I mean that I want it to be because we want to be with each other that way. I don't want to question it later. I don't want anything else clouding my judgment. Does that make sense?
[ he's a romantic at heart. he wants his first time, be it with annabeth or nico ( or someone else ), to be perfect. ]
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he has to releases a slow breath, try to regain his senses again when percy responds. the first thing percy says does make him flinch, makes bitterness and betrayal well up in his chest and hurt shows in his eyes. but the hand at his wrist restrains him and he realizes percy has more to say. his palm is placed against percy's heart where nico can feel percy's rib cage vibrate against the beating of his heart. he doesn't even bother to hide the way he gasps in response, stares at percy with wide eyes.
does it mean what he thinks it means? nico isn't sure. most of the time, he has a good measure of percy's intentions. it's hard not to when percy is simple that way. some aspects of him will never change. but this... nico trembles as his mouth opens and closes. he doesn't want to voice out loud the three words that have been hanging on his tongue, so he bites his lip again, waiting for percy to continue. when he does, nico isn't disappointed.
in a way, percy's insistence that this be... special has nico coloring but also thinking about how much it endears him to percy. the son of poseidon has come to a place that he cares enough to want this first time to be important. there's no way nico can fault him for that.
once more, the wry smile forms on his lips and he leans forward enough to press his forehead against percy's. he still holds the other boy's gaze and his fingers traipse their way down to percy's waistband. they pluck at the fabric, but don't pull down the cloth just yet. ]
I understand. I want it to mean something too. You are... Gods, Percy, you're the person I've always wanted to do this with. I stayed by your side because- Because the thought of not being near you is just-
[ he gives his head a rapid shake. ]
But... I'm willing to wait. If that's what you'd prefer. I've waited a long time, it won't hurt to wait a little longer.
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maybe that's wrong.
maybe he is screwing with nico's head, leading him on, giving him hope with his hand over percy's heart. they don't have a future. nico is with the son of apollo and he's happy, and percy is with the daughter of athena, also happy. or will be, some day, when this is all over.
where can this possibly go between them? what's he even doing besides holding a shovel and burying them both deeper and deeper in this hole? it can't go anywhere. it never will. but nico's staring at him with those same dark eyes that have demanded a promise from him in the past ( he's done the same to nico - twice, actually ), and he can't seem to find the strength to pry his hand away.
somewhere aphrodite and cupid are high-fiving and drinking mojitos. percy hates them.
nico leans forward and bumps their foreheads together and it's such a small affectionate gesture that it makes his chest feel tight. how does he know percy needs that from him in that moment? it's likely he needs the contact just as much. it's funny though, to imagine nico as the kind of person that needs anything from anyone. that's an old perception, he reminds himself, and it's only a part of who the son of hades is. he can go it alone, that doesn't mean that he wants to. percy owes it to nico not to hide from him and so he doesn't look away, doesn't glance down to follow the path nico's fingers are taking. he remains steady, touches their noses together, but doesn't kiss him. if not kissing and not touching is their way out of the hole, then percy feels himself slipping, unable to find purchase on the walls as long as nico's playing with his boxers.
don't lean into him, don't move. the instructions are quite simple to follow once he's caught off guard by what's being confessed to him. it's his turn to try on the wide-eyed look. he knows that nico has feelings for him and that it's been a winding and confusing journey and he's had to find his footing on his own. he knows that nico must have struggled endlessly, wanting to be near percy but also not wanting to be anywhere near him, all the while hoping that maybe, some day, under the right circumstances that he might reciprocate. he knows because it's how he'd felt for annabeth, waiting, too uncertain of his own feelings to ever make a move. never knowing if he'd live through the next day, let alone to see the prophecy play out. hearing that he's the person nico's always wanted to be with intimately just makes his ears turn red. he has to say something with nico shaking his head like that. ]
Hey. I told you already. I'm not going anywhere. [ if he needs reminding, so be it. looking at nico, he does his best imitation of a guy that has his head together. ] You were pretty good at cards once, right? Play these ones right and maybe it won't be that long.
[ feel free to smack him in the head with a pillow any time, nico. ]
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if he's getting led on, nico no longer cares. intellectually, he already knows that this can't last. that it'll never be what he really wants. he's long since accepted that, before they even kissed. but nico is selfish, he knows he is deep down, and he wants to experience this for as long as it's possible. if he can have one scrap of percy, maybe even one small part of his heart, nico will be satisfied. it would be more than he'd ever expected.
and it feels good like this, even if they're no moving in the same desperate way they had moments ago. just with his forehead pressed to percy's, their breaths mingling as they breathe and speak. his fingers continue their slow traipsing along the band of percy's boxers and he feels the smallest smile form on his lips.
until percy says that.
the first reaction is a groan and not one of pleasure. it's followed by a very visible roll of his eyes and he certainly is tempted to smack the son of poseidon with a pillow. he only manages to abstain by sitting up. his eyes go darker skill and the annoyed frown soon shifts into something much more lascivious. if percy wants to play that way, well... nico is more than game. ]
I still am, you know.
[ his voice is a low murmur full of danger and promise and he flattens his palms against percy's abdomen, slides them against bare skin and under percy's body to grab handfuls of percy's cheeks. his own body rolls against percy's again. ]
And I don't think it would take much for me to get you to fold, Percy.
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he's trying to cut through the sexual tension between them because nico's still perched on him and his fingers are traveling and he really. just. can't deal with that. maybe if he kills the mood, it'll be easier. it's a great plan! a perfect strategy and he actually believes it's having the desired effect. nico looks exasperated ( why are you this way, percy? ) and he grins sheepishly, but he's not that sorry.
scratch that. he's feeling progressively more sorry when he catches the change in nico's eyes and his voice, the charge in the atmosphere. he tries to backpedal, something like: ] How could you forget?
[ but then nico's palms are on his skin and he inhales sharply in surprise. there's relief too. it's as if nico's ignited a fire that won't be quelled. his touch isn't void of heat like the underworld, but to percy he runs a little cooler in comparison and the contrast is nice since he feels like he's overheating. it's such a sudden and drastic change, going from bumping foreheads to nico grabbing his ass and grinding against him. he has zero guard. his mouth opens when he moans and his expression morphs - frowning, but not. struggling to sit still. he's overwhelmed by the pleasure and it's overriding the need to know where they stand. there's no filtering the way his eyes darken, or how his breathless honesty comes across. his good intentions are corroding.
percy can't keep his hands off of nico. they're going in circles where he relents and returns like the tide. he glides his palms up nico's sides, thumbs spread out across his stomach. his sea green eyes likely look black in this light but he's following every inch his fingertips map out with his gaze. ]
I'd let you win. [ let him? he's already winning. if this is a game, everything's going in his favor. it's with that realization that percy drags his hand south, down his stomach, straight to the front of his pajama pants. he's still nervous but he's less afraid of messing up, more willing to learn as he goes. he knows what feels good to him, so he's going with something like that. he rubs his palm along the length of nico's bulge and squeezes him lightly as he he traces his fingers and thumb back up, cupping him. percy's not above grinding against the back of his hand as he touches nico either, not this far along. ] I don't care. I'd let you.
forever and a day later
but more than all that, it's the honesty with which percy reacts. the way he responds to nico and the way he holds no sound back. percy seems to have forgotten that they're not alone in the apartment and nico finds that so-fucking-hot because that means he's gotten inside percy's brain in such a way to ensure complete distraction. it's all him, the son of hades, and he has percy wrapped around his fingers.
when will he have an opportunity like this again? when will nico get the chance to have percy like this? he tries not to think about what will come later, what kind of awkwardness or discussions might arise. right now, all nico wants is to get him and percy off.
so he grinds himself against percy's palm with a noise not unlike a purr and leans forward again to lick a stripe along percy's collarbone. ]
Good. Because I want you, Percy Jackson.
[ he sucks a bruise into percy's skin, keeping the pace of their rolling hips and then pulls away again. ]
Where's your lube?
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he can't make noises like that ( ones that go straight to his dick ) and he can't grind against him because he can feel the friction even with his hand in the way. he throws his head back when nico licks his collarbone because it's too good. it's like a dream. it doesn't feel real at all. like this is something that's happening between them in reality. maybe that's what sex is like in the dark of a bedroom, maybe it's supposed to feel like a dirty secret. ( and it does feel dirty in a way, knowing will's in the next bedroom, knowing annabeth is probably waiting for him at home because even if people at home aren't supposed to know they're missing, annabeth would. ) he's already more than a little delirious when nico tells him he wants him and calls him by his full name. ]
I'm not- [ yours? is that what he wants to say? is that what he means anymore? he jerks his hips and cries out when nico marks him. he knows without looking that it's bright red, it might even be purple later. that bruise is wrong, but it just feeds into that insecurity in his head. yes, he pushed annabeth away. yes, he betrayed her. yes, he's the reason why she didn't want to be near him, and yet, nico does. that's the one resonating detail. he doesn't blame annabeth ( he hates himself ) but if nico wants him, then at least somebody still thinks he's worthy of something. ] I'm not going to make it that far, Nico.
[ he feels his stomach tighten, his thighs tremble from the force of trying to hold back. nico stops rolling against him and he grunts in frustration, squinting at him in confusion. ]
It's in the dresser, I think, [ he knows it is because that's where he keeps a fleshlight. ] but if you touch me, I'm going to cum. I might even if you don't. I'm too close.
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and he's very intently focused on percy at the moment. he's tempted to roll his hips again, just one more time to see if that really would push the son of poseidon over the edge. but he also wants the whole thing. he wants to show percy how amazing it feels to be pressed close, connected, and what it's like to be completely enveloped by another person. in essence, he wants to feel percy inside him and wonders if he can manage to keep him from coming until then. that is, if it's something percy wants at all.
so he pushes up on his knees and pulls away from percy. he holds the other demigod's gaze as he reaches over towards the dresser and then licks his lips. ]
Oh, I'm not going to touch you. I'm going to make you watch me for a bit.
[ with that said, he quickly retrieves the lube and then shimmies out of the rest of his clothes before straddling percy again, giving him a full view of his body (including the bow and arrow tattoo on his hip) as he flips open the cap of the lube and smears a dollop over his fingers. ]
Think you can hold off or would you rather come in my mouth?
[ he's being his filthiest now, not even caring what he might sound like, if he might be shocking percy with his manner of speech. his dick is hard and leaking precome, curving up towards his abdomen. he wants and wants and wants so much that he's past the point of caring about anything else but this. and with the way percy continues to react to everything he says and does, stopping now would be a shame.
( not that he won't if that's what percy wants. he knows the son of posiedon has a lot on his mind, but he'd really like to wipe that mind clean of anything but pleasure, if only for a little while. ) ]
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he has to be intimate with someone. has to hold hands, has to touch someone. he has to do something if he wants to stay in eudio and have his wish granted. it doesn't have to be nico, and yet, percy's drawn to him. his persistence. those dark eyes. he's trying to look into them now because nico's talking about making percy watch him and that idea blooms to life in his mind. it's all he can think about, which is bad. thinking about nico touching himself again. yeah, again, because this isn't the first time he's seen nico like this.
he still remembers walking in on him.
the difference here is that he can stare without getting a nosebleed by smacking his face into the door frame. logic tells him to look away. percy tells logic to go to tartarus because there's a real naked person in front of him and not far away on a screen. then nico's on top of him again with his dick out, rubbing lube onto his fingers, and talking so dirty that percy whines. the thought of nico stroking his dick or stretching himself open with his fingers coupled with the prospect of coming in his mouth is way too much. ]
You're putting a lot of faith in my terrible impulse control. [ the guy with the kneejerk reaction to give his word isn't about to right now. ] I can try? No promises.
[ he brushes his thumb over nico's bow and arrow tattoo and tries not to think of bianca. he's trying to do a lot of things at once. he inhales slowly to measure his breathing, to attempt to calm down a little. it's not really working, but it's worth a shot. percy covers nico's hand with his own ( the one with lube on it ) and holds his gaze steadily. whatever timidness or awkwardness he has is masked by how turned on he is. he guides nico's hand lower, not necessarily pushing him but encouraging him. ]
Show me. I want to watch you. I've wanted to for awhile. [ wow, good job. he has been watching nico, stealing glances, here and there. trying not to be obvious. wondering if this is just him, if nico's thinks percy is someone he wants because he's wanted him for so long that he has to see it through. he's been wondering since the kiss in his bedroom, if it's going to happen again. when. not fantasizing exactly, but it's a small apartment, and their lives are relatively simple here. there's not a lot else to think about in a city that wants its citizens to touch each other. with that admission ( which nico is free to interpret however he wants ), percy flashes his best disarming smile. ] Show me what you like.
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the way percy says it, breathless and holding his gaze, steals away his breath. since this started, nico's known that percy must want him on some level. maybe not emotionally, but certainly physically. percy is attracted to him and it's been a realization that nico repeats over and over in his mind because he never would've thought it was possible. in his mind, percy has always been 100% straight as a stick and seeing that this is blatantly false to such enormous proportions goes straight to nico's head. and to his dick.
how long, he wonders. how long is awhile? since that first kiss? since percy walked in on him? gods, now he's wondering just how long percy had stood there watching him. he wonders what percy might think if he'd known nico was imagining him at that moment.
he doesn't have to imagine now. percy's hands are on his, slowly lowering to his cock and nico has to bite a lip to withhold sound. it doesn't work and soon a whine similar to percy's is muffled behind his lips. he entwines his slick fingers with percy's and positively gasps when their hands reach his dick. the next sound he makes is caused by the shuddering breath he inhales as he watches percy through lidded eyes. ]
Like this. [ he guides both their hands around his erection with percy's hands underneath his own. he wants percy to feel the way he throbs for him, to feel how hard he is. against his flushed cheeks, his dark lashes flutter. the enormity of it all is almost too much to take. percy jackson's hand is on his cock and it feels amazing. ] I like it when I'm touched.
[ and he guides percy's hand in the first upward stroke. percy's hand is rough from handling weapons for so long, but it doesn't matter. it's perfect. ]
I want you to touch me more.
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percy jackson is attracted to nico di angelo, and it is what it is.
he is who he is and if he's bisexual, then so be it.
if nico asked him his questions now, he'd answer, like this. he can't think about anything else outside of his bedroom. nico's on top of him, completely naked, and it's certainly different than a girl without any clothes on. sharp edges instead of curves. his scars go hand-in-hand with percy's. it's intimidating, sure, seeing how hard nico's dick is - for him - and knowing what he expects of him, but that's why he's letting nico guide him. he wants to make him feel good. he doesn't want to screw this up by being awful at it.
nico's watching him, gasping, and maybe he's not so terrible. he's torn between wanting to watch nico's reactions, how he shudders, and glancing down at their hands. nico's fingers are wet on top of his and his aren't slick enough, it doesn't distract him from how turned on nico is because of percy. his hand slides down and he's not physically getting anything out of it but he still hums. a deep mmh as nico continues to talk to him and throbs in his palm. it affects him visually and mentally, and he'd be lying if he said that his partner's pleasure wasn't more important to him than his own, anyway. he guides percy and while he's doing that, percy reaches for the bottle of lube, then uncaps it with his other hand. this may not happen again. they may not get another chance at this and percy wants to do it right, which means when he gets to tip of nico's dick, he lets him go. he's not stopping. he's squeezing a little more lube onto his own fingers and rubbing it around, warming it up on his skin and gazing up at nico as he does it. ]
Yeah? You want my hands on you? [ far be it for percy to deny him that. he curls his fingers around nico's length again, resuming where he left off by stroking down, then turning his wrist to glide back up. it's slow. partially because he's trying to find a steady pace but also because it's to tease nico as much as he's torturing himself. he has instructions to watch. he plans to follow them, no matter how uncomfortably hard he is. he abandons the bottle of lube at his side in the sheets in order to reach for nico's hip, only he keeps his hand traveling around him. he doesn't stop until his palm's on nico's ass, cupping one of his cheeks. he has to lean forward a little but that's okay. ] How many times have you thought about this?
[ about them, about his hands on nico, about having sex with percy. he means all of it. he doesn't care how needy that sounds, how obvious it is that he wants to know the truth. he speeds up his ministrations, less concerned with how into this he is, like if he drives nico wild enough, he'll answer anything, too. ]
Is it just my hands that you think about?
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but for just about the same amount of time, nico knew it would never be a possibility. he knew that percy would always be devoted to annabeth and he knew that between betrayal and distrust, his own fear of his sexuality and more, getting close to percy was practically impossible. he's dreamt of moments like this far more than he can count, but always with the belief it would never happen. he's always thought it would forever be a shameful, unspoken need.
it's happening now and it's still hard to believe. the way percy looks at him, eyes dark in the low light of the room and darker still due to lust. percy's eyes on his body are like hot trails that he wishes would leave marks because when it all ends, he wants proof that it happened. he wants to make sure that this is not just something happening in the dark spaces of his head and that he won't wake up in the morning with the need to explain to will why the sheets are wet. ( how embarrassing would that be? ) ]
Yes, I want your hands on me. [ ( all over, everywhere ) and he rocks his hips into percy's hand. as the son of poseidon sits up, draws closer, his hands find purchase in percy's hair and he leans closer too, seeking out percy's mouth with his own. if he can get close enough, he breathe against percy's lips, mewl for him, card his fingers through dark strands before answering. ]
I've thought about it so much- Gods, Percy... [ it's another whine, a plea for more. ] I've thought about it so many times...
[ his voice is interrupted frequently by the gasps that escape him when percy's hand twists around his cock, the pace so teasing and much too slow. he needs more, feels the desire ringing in his bones again, like it has so many times. only this time, he's not alone with his hand. he's not by himself, without anyone to touch him. he's not hidden away with the belief that this could only be a dream. ]
I've wanted so much more. I want- I've wanted to feel you inside me.
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his whine is deafening in percy's ears, similar to his confessions.
now he doesn't have to stand in a doorway, wondering what nico looks like without his many layers on. he doesn't have to watch from a distance. he can look for as long as he wants without having to find an excuse to look away. he gets to be the one with his hand around nico's dick drawing these reactions out of him and he gets to be the one on his mind and in front of him. it does more for his confidence than he'll admit. he's not really a possessive guy because he's always been sure of the people around him and in his life, but there's a rush of it that shoots through him when nico says he's wanted percy inside of him.
that train of thought makes it difficult to remember that he's afraid of anything. it's his reckless side.
he kisses nico again, hard on the mouth, like he wants to consume every gasping secret nico has. it doesn't linger, doesn't transform into a deeper kiss because percy refuses to shut his eyes or take his gaze off of nico. ]
When I walked in on you that time, who were you thinking about? [ it's not a desperate question and as if to prove that he's not stopping, regardless of what the answer may be, he stops experimenting. stops teasing nico with slow, questioning strokes. he twists his wrist for a better angle now that they're sitting up and focuses on his tip - it's a little different, considering nico isn't circumcised like percy is, but not by that much. ] I was standing there long enough for it to be weird. I wanted to watch you.
[ as if to serve as proof of those words, he drops his gaze between them, close as they are, to watch how his fingers glide down. how the pad of his thumb's pressed against the underside of nico's dick while his other fingers curl around him. he bites his own bottom lip to keep himself quiet, but he can't keep his hips down, and he's obviously terrible at following instructions. what self-control?
he pulls his hand away from nico's ass to tug his boxers down as far as he can without sacrificing too much contact. it takes some maneuvering ( and he risks a few seconds stalling his ministrations ) to yank them down to his thighs. if he's embarrassed by how turned on he is, how his cock is arching, or how nico's probably looking at him, he does a good job at keeping that close to his chest. they're close enough together that percy thinks putting his thumb around his own erection and pressing nico's against his with his fingers just might work. he's already halfway towards accomplishing that when he hesitates, meeting nico's eyes. ]
Can I.. try something?
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normally, he's so reserved, prone to keeping his expressions and emotions locked away where only the shadows might find them. normally, only anger and bitterness are enough to evoke anything out of him. but now, percy has him giving up his secrets with a twist of his wrist, with a squeeze of his hand, with the press of his thumb. how can he expect to keep anything from the son of poseidon when percy now has so much control over him. and does percy even realize it? how easily it would be for percy to have him coming apart at the seams, his soul laid bare? that part of him hasn't seen daylight since he'd grasped the soul of bryce lawrence and ripped the life out of him before sending the other demigod to the darkest parts of the underworld. only now it's not hate and anger and pain and suffering driving him, it's need and desire and above all, love.
he can't let percy know that. he can't let percy see into his heart like that. but if percy asked...
it's almost frightening, but in some ways, that just intensifies everything. makes the sensation of percy's thumb on his tip seem better than nectar on his lips. makes the way percy's palm drags against his foreskin feel more encapsulating than the comfort of the shadows. makes the way feeling the heat of percy's skin feel hotter than a fire. and when percy asks him that first question, a full body tremble passes through him followed by an abrupt gasp. ]
Di immortales-!
[ not quite shouted. he has the presence of mind to keep his voice down a little, but it's a sign that both percy's words and his touch are having their desired affect.
( i wanted to watch you ) hearing that draws an italian plea from nico's lips. ] I- It was you. It's pretty much always you...
[ not entirely the truth. nowadays, it's also will and loki and a few other people he's met in eudio. but before he got close to the son of apollo, it had most certainly always been percy.
and then percy is shifting under him, pulling away and yet another italian plea, this time more desperate, escapes him. once percy is fully undressed, though, it's worth it. because his eyes meet percy's and he can tell without looking what percy has in mind. to feel percy's arousal against his own... the thought is mindblowing and he most certainly wants it. ]
Percy-! Un-mmpf. [ one of the most undignified noises he's ever made, but by this point, he's to far along to care. ] Y-yeah. Yeah.
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he shuts his eyes when their dicks finally do touch because the relief is too sweet to try and fight. it’s short-lived. because- ]
Ah- gods, that's amazing. [ changes very quickly once his eyes are open again and he’s struggling to keep them that way, to watch as he rubs their tips together. it’s not enough. he can’t hang with the slow pace, no matter how slick his fingers are. he wants to know what it feels like to stroke both of their dicks at the same time, if it’s as good as when he’s alone. if it’s better. pacing himself isn’t exactly an option, but he tries. he has to readjust his grip a couple times to keep them flush together when his palm is sliding down, because he can’t stop the way he jerks up into his hand and against nico.
being quiet is the last thing on his mind ( sorry, will ) and he doesn’t bite back or swallow any of the pants ( he feels like he’s hyperventilating ) or the grunts that tumble through his lips.
his hand leaves nico’s rear to cup the back of his neck and yank him into a devouring kiss. if he pulls him down in the process, he doesn’t care. percy wants nico’s mouth on him. he wants to taste his name on his tongue. he wants to feel every noise vibrating against his mouth. he needs to. he can't catch his breath, but he finds it within himself to break the kiss. he doesn't give nico any of his space back, doesn't let him retreat. ] Say it again? Tell me it's - mmn - me.
[ not that it will be easy, considering he's chasing nico's lips already. ]
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he doesn't want to close his eyes, even though they seem to on their own. he wants to watch the way percy's face flushes, his mouth parts in moans. he wants to see how crazy he's driving percy because if it's anything like what percy is making him feel right now, surely he's going mad.
this pace, this motion of their bodies... it suits them. when they kiss again, it's like the tide surging in towards the shore and nico accepts the kiss without hesitation. nothing matters now but this. there's nothing he wants more in this moment.
slowly, one hand slides its way up percy's chest to settle a palm against his neck. nico's fingers grip at the nape and he turns his head just enough that when percy ducks in again, their lips brush but he's soon mouthing along percy's jaw. his other hand drops to their laps where he curls his fingers around percy's hand to help him out a little.
if percy wants him to say it again, he doesn't need to ask. nico releases a huffed laugh, followed by a moan as he gives his head a short nod. ]
It's you. Haa- fuck. Gods, it's you.
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if nico wasn’t holding him together, his head would tip back when he covers percy’s hand. his assistance keeps percy on track and stops him from being overwhelmed and slowing down.
for someone that isn’t in love, he’s pretty greedy. the next groan is strangled. ( is it possible to choke on emotions? ) it seems to tear out of him, suddenly and with as much of a waver as the tremors down his spine, in his thighs. he’s trying really hard not to come but he doesn’t see how he can last much longer, especially when he can’t pull up a distracting image in his head. everything slips away from him. there’s only nico, sitting on him, close but not close enough, telling him what he wants to hear.
( and percy wants to tell nico that he's beautiful. that he's so hot like this, that his kisses make him feel like he's intoxicated. he's putty in his hands. that percy wants him. him. he wants nico, not because he's there, not because he's lonely, not because he's convenient. he wants him because he does. because it's a thought that's gotten more and more tangled in his head, in his dreams, since that first kiss. ) ]
Shit, Nico. Ohmyguh—fuck! Don't stop. Please don't stop. Don't ever stop touching me. [ his strokes are firmer, from the base to the tips of their cocks, but faster if nico allows it. he does lean into nico's hand then, propped up but baring his throat. if nico feels like percy is trying to guide him face first towards his throat, he's not wrong. ] I nh—need you to..
[ bite me, kiss me, fuck me. he doesn't care anymore.
( and it shows in his eyes when he can keep them open. ) ]
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it's all a natural consequence of having held back for so long, of having to keep his emotions dammed behind a wall of anger and self-loathing. percy has not only put cracks in that way, but he's shattered it. exposed nico's inner core and making him an utter mess as he trembles atop percy's lap. his croons get louder, regardless of his boyfriend sleeping in the next room over, and his breathing is so punctuated that it's a wonder his lungs haven't stopped working. ]
Yes, uhn, gods. Percy, Percy, so uhm, so close.
[ with that dam having crumbled completely, nico begs without thought, without fear, without any semblance of self-consciousness. this is what percy jackson does to him. this is how much percy jackson has insinuated himself into his heart. he wants percy with every fiber of his being, so much that it hurts but in the way that feels so fucking good.
as percy's hand moves faster, so does his, and he can feel that coiling in the pit of his stomach heralding his climax. it's only the look he sees in percy's eyes that does it.
( the look he's wanted to see since he was old enough to understand its meaning. the way he's always wanted percy to look at him. )
choking on a cry that is muffled against percy's throat, he gives in. his orgasm hits hard, and nico is lost in the crashing waves of pleasure and emotion that have surged forth from that very wall behind which he's been keeping all his thoughts and feelings. ]
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percy doesn’t think he can this time.
mostly because nico’s coming apart in his lap, shaking, saying his name. revealing parts of himself that percy has never seen before, and hadn’t known existed. it’s mostly that.
( he won’t say it’s how his eyes aren’t terrifying like the pitch black of night, that they’re comforting like sitting on the roof watching the stars. they’re that kind of dark. and he won’t say it’s because kissing nico makes him forget what’s wrong, or that he likes rolling over and finding him there, even if all he’s doing is checking in before he leaves. he definitely won’t so much as think that nico’s touch is what he’s been craving for some time now. )
when nico comes with a badly disguised cry into his skin, percy isn’t far behind him at all. he slows the pace of his hand, working nico through his orgasm for a few strokes, before he eases off and takes his own dick in hand. it doesn’t take much for him. he’s been on the verge of his own climax for what feels like forever now, so with a few measured twists of his wrist and the right press of his fingers, it rocks through him almost violently.
nothing about it is quiet. not the huffed breaths, not the drawn out groan. he’s already forgotten himself, sorry nico. ( and sorry, will, if he’s awake now. ) his voice feels raw, his throat, as he heaves for air. he trades his grasp on nico’s hip to rub over his face, whispers something like fuuuck because it’s the most intelligible word he can shape. he can't look at nico yet, but when he does ( if he does ), he's afraid his thoughts will be written on his face. ]
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it's a metaphor that's not too far from the truth. percy has made pleasure bloom in his blood better than any flower ever created by his step-mother. it's why he's panting, leaning into percy so their foreheads meet. he barely registers that percy has come as well, and as the realization settles inside him, making itself known, he slowly opens his eyes.
but it's the drawn out curse that really draws his attention. finally, he looks up at percy with flushed features, dark and sweaty curls clinging to his features, and lips plump from having been kissed and bitten. in essence, he looks well fucked. percy, meanwhile, looks glorious. the pinch of his brows above the hand covering the rest of his features gives nico a small idea of what he must be feeling.
the problem is that the expression is hard to read. was it good? he wonders. sure, percy came, but that's not hard when you're a teenager. what nico wants to know now is if percy had enjoyed it. if it was something that percy liked. and maybe if it was something percy would like to repeat in the future.
licking his lips, he exhales as slowly as he can and surreptitiously wipes his hand clean on the comforter under them. ]
Heh, wow... [ another look is chanced at percy's covered features. ] So...?
[ his teeth sink into his lower lip as he watches the son of poseidon. say something, he silently wills him, hoping all the while that percy won't kick him out of bed. ]
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