( as it is, dick is an incredibly private person. even if he is heartfelt and soft to many people, he is a difficult egg to crack, hidden behind blockades of mental protective barriers he's been building up since he was nine years old. hearing talk of his private life in any capacity makes venom boil in his stomach, angry and sad, and the inevitable voice of bruce wayne saying you're an idiot, you failed, did i teach you to be this stupid?
there are many things nico doesn't know, he's willing to guess, but that's fine. he is loki's escape route, not dick's. ( dick doesn't have one. ) )
Let Loki know I'll be waiting for his call. Thank you.
[ on his end, a sigh that goes unheard. this isn't what he wants for either of them. he wants to see the two happy together. and yet he's managed to make things worse (or so he assumes). this is why he doesn't like getting into conversations like this. this is why he hates love gods and stepping into other people's lives. because he'll ultimately screw things up. ]
Let the record also show that I apologized to him. A couple times, which is a couple more than I thought entirely necessary, but I didn't care, because Loki means more to me than any sliver of pride I may or may not have. So, you won't have to give me the 'fight for him' speech, because that's what I've been doing since we started dating. If you're worried about my feelings for him for whatever reason, I'll tell you what I told him,
The only direction I move in is towards Loki. I chose him, I'm choosing him, and I will choose him until I'm dead, because even if he left me, he'd take my entire heart with him.
He doesn't believe me on this, but I hope you will.
you don't have to convince me i know what it's like to be in love so i can see it clearly in other people i see it every time you look at him it's not you i'm truly worried about
i know gods. i live with them every day. they're capricious, sometimes self-serving or untrustworthy and often times its difficult for them to understand mortals loki isn't exactly aphrodite either so i'm sure his concept of love is a bit different. in fact, i'd say his love is selfish he's a little like cupid, making psyche fight for him he doesn't want to think someone else loves you either not as much as he does.
i'll remind him again to fight for you because i believe you two are good for each other i'm jealous even i wish the person i love loved me as much as you love each other
( i wish the person i love loved me as much as you love each other.
he makes a mistake, maybe, in assuming nico is talking about loki. it makes this entire interaction feel -- guilty, selfish, and dick recoils upon reading it, suddenly hating himself a mile more than he had before. there's nothing he can say to that. he probably already loves you, because he probably does, because loki is easier to love and easier yet to obtain love from -- responsive to a pet, a show of kindness, a smile, his name said like a promise and not like a curse. dick can remember touching him fondly, and the look of surprise on his features while general blades were replaced with kisses, violence in exchange for love.
nico and loki are probably good for each other. they're probably still together, even, because when loki can't come to dick, that is evidently where he goes -- jealousy burbles alongside the sweeter curdle of happiness, a yes, love him, love him when i can't, love him when he won't let me. he doesn't really give a shit about his own feelings, or they're not the first thing on his mind -- knowing loki is taken care of is enough, more than enough, and dick will learn to be happy with that. )
I'm sorry you got stuck in the middle of all this, Nico. I'm sure we'll be fine, okay? Remember to take care of yourself, too. I'll treat you to ice cream sometime for being fantastic.
[ if only dick knew the truth. of how when nico thinks of green eyes, he doesn't imagine loki's. he imagines eyes less like emeralds and more like stormy seas. when he imagines dark hair, he doesn't think of loki's straight locks but inky, wind-blown grecian curls. nico thinks of a surfer's physique and power over water rather than armor and power over chaos. he doesn't want the love loki gives to dick. he wants percy jackson's love. the reason he loves loki is for different reasons and it's a different kind of love because despite being the gloomy son of hades, he has a big heart.
but of course, dick doesn't know this. and nico doesn't know what he's thinking. all he knows is that he wants them both to be happy because both have been kind to him. ]
it's okay i don't mind i just want you two to be happy don't worry i will be as long as you two will be and i'd appreciate that. take care of yourself too.
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there are many things nico doesn't know, he's willing to guess, but that's fine. he is loki's escape route, not dick's. ( dick doesn't have one. ) )
Let Loki know I'll be waiting for his call. Thank you.
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for what it's worth, i told him to fight for you
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Let the record also show that I apologized to him. A couple times, which is a couple more than I thought entirely necessary, but I didn't care, because Loki means more to me than any sliver of pride I may or may not have.
So, you won't have to give me the 'fight for him' speech, because that's what I've been doing since we started dating. If you're worried about my feelings for him for whatever reason, I'll tell you what I told him,
The only direction I move in is towards Loki. I chose him, I'm choosing him, and I will choose him until I'm dead, because even if he left me, he'd take my entire heart with him.
He doesn't believe me on this, but I hope you will.
no subject
i know what it's like to be in love
so i can see it clearly in other people
i see it every time you look at him
it's not you i'm truly worried about
i know gods. i live with them every day.
they're capricious, sometimes self-serving or untrustworthy
and often times its difficult for them to understand mortals
loki isn't exactly aphrodite either
so i'm sure his concept of love is a bit different.
in fact, i'd say his love is selfish
he's a little like cupid, making psyche fight for him
he doesn't want to think someone else loves you either
not as much as he does.
i'll remind him again to fight for you
because i believe you two are good for each other
i'm jealous even
i wish the person i love loved me as much as you love each other
no subject
he makes a mistake, maybe, in assuming nico is talking about loki. it makes this entire interaction feel -- guilty, selfish, and dick recoils upon reading it, suddenly hating himself a mile more than he had before. there's nothing he can say to that. he probably already loves you, because he probably does, because loki is easier to love and easier yet to obtain love from -- responsive to a pet, a show of kindness, a smile, his name said like a promise and not like a curse. dick can remember touching him fondly, and the look of surprise on his features while general blades were replaced with kisses, violence in exchange for love.
nico and loki are probably good for each other. they're probably still together, even, because when loki can't come to dick, that is evidently where he goes -- jealousy burbles alongside the sweeter curdle of happiness, a yes, love him, love him when i can't, love him when he won't let me. he doesn't really give a shit about his own feelings, or they're not the first thing on his mind -- knowing loki is taken care of is enough, more than enough, and dick will learn to be happy with that. )
I'm sorry you got stuck in the middle of all this, Nico.
I'm sure we'll be fine, okay?
Remember to take care of yourself, too. I'll treat you to ice cream sometime for being fantastic.
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but of course, dick doesn't know this. and nico doesn't know what he's thinking. all he knows is that he wants them both to be happy because both have been kind to him. ]
it's okay i don't mind
i just want you two to be happy
don't worry i will be as long as you two will be
and i'd appreciate that. take care of yourself too.
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If you're looking out for Loki, I'll look out for you, okay?
Let me know if you need something, my door's always open.
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i said i'll be fine.
i can take care of myself.
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You don't have to be by yourself, though. That's all I'm offering.
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i can come over after you and loki talk