( i wish the person i love loved me as much as you love each other.
he makes a mistake, maybe, in assuming nico is talking about loki. it makes this entire interaction feel -- guilty, selfish, and dick recoils upon reading it, suddenly hating himself a mile more than he had before. there's nothing he can say to that. he probably already loves you, because he probably does, because loki is easier to love and easier yet to obtain love from -- responsive to a pet, a show of kindness, a smile, his name said like a promise and not like a curse. dick can remember touching him fondly, and the look of surprise on his features while general blades were replaced with kisses, violence in exchange for love.
nico and loki are probably good for each other. they're probably still together, even, because when loki can't come to dick, that is evidently where he goes -- jealousy burbles alongside the sweeter curdle of happiness, a yes, love him, love him when i can't, love him when he won't let me. he doesn't really give a shit about his own feelings, or they're not the first thing on his mind -- knowing loki is taken care of is enough, more than enough, and dick will learn to be happy with that. )
I'm sorry you got stuck in the middle of all this, Nico. I'm sure we'll be fine, okay? Remember to take care of yourself, too. I'll treat you to ice cream sometime for being fantastic.
[ if only dick knew the truth. of how when nico thinks of green eyes, he doesn't imagine loki's. he imagines eyes less like emeralds and more like stormy seas. when he imagines dark hair, he doesn't think of loki's straight locks but inky, wind-blown grecian curls. nico thinks of a surfer's physique and power over water rather than armor and power over chaos. he doesn't want the love loki gives to dick. he wants percy jackson's love. the reason he loves loki is for different reasons and it's a different kind of love because despite being the gloomy son of hades, he has a big heart.
but of course, dick doesn't know this. and nico doesn't know what he's thinking. all he knows is that he wants them both to be happy because both have been kind to him. ]
it's okay i don't mind i just want you two to be happy don't worry i will be as long as you two will be and i'd appreciate that. take care of yourself too.
no subject
he makes a mistake, maybe, in assuming nico is talking about loki. it makes this entire interaction feel -- guilty, selfish, and dick recoils upon reading it, suddenly hating himself a mile more than he had before. there's nothing he can say to that. he probably already loves you, because he probably does, because loki is easier to love and easier yet to obtain love from -- responsive to a pet, a show of kindness, a smile, his name said like a promise and not like a curse. dick can remember touching him fondly, and the look of surprise on his features while general blades were replaced with kisses, violence in exchange for love.
nico and loki are probably good for each other. they're probably still together, even, because when loki can't come to dick, that is evidently where he goes -- jealousy burbles alongside the sweeter curdle of happiness, a yes, love him, love him when i can't, love him when he won't let me. he doesn't really give a shit about his own feelings, or they're not the first thing on his mind -- knowing loki is taken care of is enough, more than enough, and dick will learn to be happy with that. )
I'm sorry you got stuck in the middle of all this, Nico.
I'm sure we'll be fine, okay?
Remember to take care of yourself, too. I'll treat you to ice cream sometime for being fantastic.
no subject
but of course, dick doesn't know this. and nico doesn't know what he's thinking. all he knows is that he wants them both to be happy because both have been kind to him. ]
it's okay i don't mind
i just want you two to be happy
don't worry i will be as long as you two will be
and i'd appreciate that. take care of yourself too.
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If you're looking out for Loki, I'll look out for you, okay?
Let me know if you need something, my door's always open.
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i said i'll be fine.
i can take care of myself.
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You don't have to be by yourself, though. That's all I'm offering.
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i can come over after you and loki talk