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[deathkid]

Nico here, except I'm not. Leave a message. ☏ ✆ ✉ ⚐ ۞

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[ikols]

Imagine you were with Percy. You wake up with him every morning and for the past handful Percy's former lover-and-BFF, who broke his heart that you put back together, ah, they've been leaving gifts on his doorstop. Percy starts wearing the clothes they buy, he plays their music, he keeps the notes bearing their love.

That's what Wally West has been doing, the redhead back at the party. Dick was wild over him before I came along.

[ He pauses to pick up a shell, thumbing the sand from it without really paying attention. ]

We tolerate each other sleeping around, usually. I don't know, I ... I've hated seeing him get wooed away from me. Tonight he was wearing one of West's presents, that ugly sweater. It was like he was wrapped up out of reach —

[ The shell shatters in an accidental fist. ]

[deathkid]

[ when put like that, nico understands immediately. it would be like if all his best dreams come true and then annabeth came back into the picture. he'd be hurt, feel tossed aside, feel unwanted. and that's something nico's experienced far too much in his life to be okay with.

reaching out, he takes the offending hand and gently brushes away shatters shell pieces, checking to make sure there are no cuts or torn skin. when his concern is assuaged, he looks back up at loki. ]

Then what are you doing here with me? If it was me, I'd fight for Percy. I see the way Dick looks at you, you know. If Percy loved me like that, I'd never let him go. I wouldn't hesitate. I'd do anything to make sure he kept looking at me.

[ikols]

I know he loves West. Dick never stops being in love with someone once he falls that hard.

[ His palm is fine as the fragments of shell fall away, resting his wrist on Nico's shoulder. ]

I always told Dick 'I'm not your endgame, I won't be able to stay with you'. I'm Loki. I don't get to keep him, I've known that in my bones ever since I first wanted to. He was right, this is my fault.

[deathkid]

[ pulling that wrist down, he gives loki's palm a brief kiss. it's more platonic than anything. an attempt at comfort as he entwines their fingers again. part of nico feels jealous. not of loki nor of dick, but of what they have together. the comparison to percy just reminds him how something like that will never happen for him. i want you to be the exception his father had said. as it turns out, he probably won't be. ]

Go to him. [ quietly as his gaze shifts out to the waves meeting the shore. ] Go to him and make things right. It doesn't matter if you're Loki or some other god. It doesn't matter if you're not meant to be his "end game". If you love him as much as I think you do, you shouldn't be here with me. Don't make him play Psyche.

[ikols]

You're the only reason I haven't asked the Eudites to unmake me tonight. So, you see, I do need you, quite a lot.

[ Which is when he finally looks at Nico, the moment the demigod's gaze is turned and it's easier to view him in profile after such a confession. ]

They resurrected me when I wasn't supposed to exist, if I wasn't here then Dick could have Wally without worrying about my issues getting in the way, they could be happy. Almost no one would miss me, my joke of a birthday party proved that, and I'm not afraid to die. It doesn't seem as important the second time around.

[deathkid]

[ hearing this makes nico tense up, turn toward loki and grasp him by his shirt. he grips hard (though not hard enough that loki wouldn't be able to break away) and he can feel a constriction in this throat that comes from fear and panic. he's never realized that such idealization lived within loki, coiled up like a snake waiting for the perfect moment to hit the godling. he's never known a god save apollo to question his existence. he doesn't want that for loki. he wants to see the mischievous glint in his eyes and the smirk on loki's lips. ]

Don't you dare. I need you too, more than I ever thought possible. [ hesitation then because he very much wants loki and dick to be together, but he also wants loki to be happy. he's closer to the godling than he is to dick and frankly doesn't know what to say next. ] I would miss you.

[ but more than that, he wants to say, is that dick would miss him. he refuses to believe that dick would be so willing to abandon loki after the looks he's seen dick give him. ]

[ikols]

[ Blinking at Nico when tugged in with no resistance on the godling's part, he peers down at him in surprise as though the notion his affections would be genuinely returned wasn't ever on the cards, not for real. ]

If you met me anywhere else, Nico, I'd be vastly different. You've glimpsed one face of many, I was never meant to live forever just as I am now. [ He loves to touch Nico's hair and so he does now with long spidery fingers, careful not to tug. Absorbed in shadowy eyes. ] You might as well try to hold onto a ghost.

[ The phrasing is no accident, likening himself with Bianca's memory. ]

I'm getting tired these days, it's harder to be me. So tired.

[deathkid]

No... Don't do this, dammit. I don't care if you'd be different. Here, you are you and that's what matters.

[ ducking his head, he presses himself close to loki. the idea that the god would unmake himself genuinely frightens him, making him tremble as the ground beneath them does as well. ]

If you are a ghost, then you are mine. [ said with determination. he looks up again, the fire of power and just a hint of madness glinting in his eyes. ]

I am the king and I won't let you slip through my fingers. Don't you realize how much Dick wants you? How much I want you?

[ikols]

[ A god is a story, a mythoform making of themselves whatever they want if it aligns with their role. Loki has rejected his and rejuvenated it as best he can, for the longest time feeling that was the grandest edit he would ever make during this chapter to his life. Part of him agrees that Nico is right, he's Loki's little Ghost King with a right to claim him; and his eye twitches involuntarily as he considers it, uncertain why it feels very, very right and simultaneously silly.

He wraps up Nico in his arms, holding onto his young anchor as he swallows a hard lump, sturdy-legged despite the rumbling earth beneath them. ]

Tell me.

[deathkid]

[ as the earth settles beneath them, nico hesitates, but only because he doesn't know how to put his feelings into words. doing so has never been a strength for him, more used to using actions to speak for him. that said, he wants to express how the godling feels. and the best way he figures he can do this is by sharing some of his dreams with the godling. if he can peak into the dreams of a god, then he should be able to send his own to loki. ]

Close your eyes.

[ and if loki does, he closes his own, presses their foreheads together and sends the dream to him.

it's dark at first, nothing but a gleaming pair of green eyes. eyes similar yet dissimilar to those of percy jackson and definitely far more entrancing. what follows is shared laughter, a mischievous grin, and a touch that sends a thrill up a narrow spine. breathlessness in the dark before the bright light of magic pulls the red glow of courage into the shadows. there, the norn stones glimmer and a feeling of trust warms the area. trust and affection, need and desire, but most of all love. a love that is both platonic and romantic, entwined like two spirits. nico is a shadow made brilliant in the gleaming of green eyes and loki is figure straddling the threshold of dark and light, understanding it as well as the son of hades while keeping an understanding of all that brightens the world in a way that nico does not.

there is no pedestal for the son of laufey, not like one on which the son of poseidon stands. untouchable and beyond nico's reach. instead, there are a pair of held hands, two sets of black painted nails alternating as they stand on equal ground. loki may be a god, but in nico's mind, he is also someone. he is more that just a god. he's a friend, a lover, a confidant.

but it's not only that. in his dream, nico imagines misery. sees the woman's emaciated form, notes the way poisonous tears streak down a bloody, clawed face. loki is there too, knowing misery as intimately as nico does, but also shielding the demigod from most of her laughter. there is strength there, the combined power of a norse god and a demigod son of the underworld and together they banish misery to the furthest depths of tartarus where she can no longer harm either of them.

as the darkness of the dream fades, nico pulls away to look up into loki's features. a small, nervous smile sits on his lips and he swallows, awaiting the godling's judgement. ]

See?

[ikols]

[ Nico weaves dreams so well that at first Loki wonders if he hasn't found his match in illusions, then the truth of every glimpse through the dark becomes clear. Emotions broil, turbulent with passion as every moment insists that Loki is well-loved, an idol-yet-not. He feels like a shady hero when viewed through Nico's heart and it's a wonderfully uplifting experience. Seeing himself as worthy like that, without needing any polishing ...

He sinks to his knees and hugs Nico's middle, burying a grateful smile in his chest. ]

Yes, sire.

[deathkid]

[ nico drops to his knees as well, wanting that equality between them after he drops a kiss on loki's crown. his fingers card through dark hair and he tilts the godling's chin up. ]

I'm only the king of ghosts and you're no ghost, but you're mine nonetheless. And I'm certain that how I feel for you is only a fraction of how Dick feels. I'm no child of Aphrodite, but I know love enough to recognize it when I see it.

[ikols]

I'm not thinking about Dick right now. Trust that I'll deal with that business later. Ah, better than I would have before our chat.

[ Pushing his nose into Nico's cheek with a nuzzle, he sits back and widens his legs to indicate Nico should sit in between. They can watch the ocean like that, the aimless waves that let Loki think and clear his mind. ]

Come, sit with me.

[deathkid]

I'll hold you to it.

[ a kiss is given to loki's cheek and then he settles into place, pulling loki's arms around him so he can entwine their fingers. he makes a note to actually paint his nails black. it would go with his theme. ]

You know... my favorite place is underground, but I've always loved the beach as well. How did you find this place?

[ikols]

Oh, hmm. [ Arms around Nico and long legs framing him, Loki chins a shoulder from behind to become a comfortable living armchair in the cold night air. ] I used to roam the dead nations, the five which died off. Pick at whatever houses were left standing. Bring home trinkets for my friend, Verity, because she didn't like to travel far.

I would go treasure-hunting for the government and provide the museum with antiquities. It was lucrative.

[deathkid]

[ leaning back into loki, he gives a low hum of approval. it may be chilly, but they're both used to the chill. ]

That sounds fun. Stumble across any interesting dead people?

[ikols]

We-eeeell ...

[ Feeling more like himself, even with a black boulder still lodged in his gut (melting the longer he huddles close to Nico) Loki hums through a smile. ]

I once cleared the name of Eirian Santiago, collected her bones from the ocean floor and laid her soul to rest of all villainous charges. [ Humblebragging, oops. ] That was fun.

[deathkid]

[ hopefully the warmth they share will continue to melt that angst. nico wants loki to be happy, after all, and he doubts he can be the one to give that peace to the godling. really, the setting is perfect. all he could possibly want is a burger and fries. ]

That's cool. I wish more people would right the wrongs of the past like that. You probably put her soul to rest.

[ and for a little bit of his own bragging. ] Did you know I once put Daedalus to rest?

[ikols]

I did not, tell me all about it.

[ While he hogs his Nico-shaped teddy bear and refuses to let go. ]

[deathkid]

It was during the second Titan war, when Kronos was trying to take down the Olympians. Daedalus was still alive, having used automatons to extend his life. As a result, his labyrinth was still alive too, which Kronos' army tried to use to invade Camp Half-blood. At first, Daedalus sided with Kronos, but then rejoined us demigods to fight. After the battle, he realized that by continuing to live, his labyrinth continued to exist as well, as its own living entity. Plus, he knew his time was past and it was the moment to move on. So I put him to rest and the labyrinth collapsed.

[ a pause as he takes a breath. while explaining all this, his hands have begun to move in their characteristic gesturing. ]

Of course, much later, Pasiphaë resurrected the labyrinth and it's back, more deadly than ever, but... [ a shrug. that's where he'd been with will before coming to eudio. ]

[ikols]

[ No answer comes from Loki immediately, napping where his head hangs over Nico's shoulder. A wheezy noise agrees with a murmur, mmm, bad, but his greatest movement is to nuzzle his new cosy home again as his breathing evens out, his arms an immovable band around Nico's waist.

So tired, he has said. Not a lie. ]

[deathkid]

[ since his audience seems to have fallen asleep, nico figures it would be best to find him a more comfortable location. not wanting to rouse the godling, he silently pulls the night's shadows around them until they're dropping (gently) into nico's bed. there, he kicks off his shoes and carefully tugs off loki's before drawing the blankets around them both. if loki wakes some time during all this, nico takes care to brush dark hair from tired, green eyes and press a kiss to the godling's mouth. ]

[ikols]

[ Shadow-travelling is so cool that he's sorry he misses it, snoozing on his back until soft lips muss at his mouth, stealing a kiss. He tugs on Nico's sweater, wanting him for a blanket before anything else. ]

[deathkid]

[ and nico provides just that, tugging more of the blankets around them and draping himself over loki so that he's as comfortable as possible. ]

[ikols]

[ At some point during REM-sleep in the night, his unconscious unravels more than usual and all 525 lbs of godling makes the bed squeak and groan, shattering two of the legs.

Loki snores through it. ]