She was... [ his lips part and close, as if he might be gasping for air and in a way he is. it's too easy to drown in grief, the echos of the arai haunting him, reminding him of what he's lost as the laughter of misery herself rings in his ears. you're perfect, the goddess had told him. and it had all started the night he'd lost his only family.
sure, he has hazel now, but hazel is a world away and one room over is the boy who was there that day he felt the ringing in his ears, his birthright coming to call with the death of bianca. ]
She was brave and kind. Stubborn as well. She always took care of me. Even after she joined the Hunters, she thought about me. [ he glances up towards his desk where sits a small figurine of his father; the only figure he'd kept when he'd burned all the rest of his mythomagic items in his styx-side fire. ] And she was beautiful.
[ Taking the loose cue to get some energy in the room, muted as it is with his stroll to the desk where he picks up the little figurine, Loki spends a moment seemingly debating the sour Hades before shooting Nico a squint. ]
That solves one mystery. You both got your looks from your mother.
[ a huff of a mirthless laugh; he still doesn't think himself very appealing but doesn't bother arguing the point at the moment. ]
She died this time of year. Right before the winter solstice. I'll never forget that, even if I can't quite recall her face. And even after all this time, despite everything I've learned about my powers... I can't bring her back. She's chosen reincarnation. Even if I met her again, I wouldn't know her.
[ Sinking down on the other side of the bed, now closer to Nico, the little statue in Loki's palm glows green and starts dancing its knock-knees off like it can't decide whether to be a flapper or John Travolta.
Loki lifts his attention back to Nico. ]
Rebirth is only an option when you feel you've lived the best life you can, its memory fills you up. Your heart bursts with gratitude for all the chances and loved ones you had. It sounds as though your sister died loving you without limit and you made her life complete, even if she passed prematurely. It's a very brave thing, to become someone new.
[ Just as Nico said she was, brave etc, although Loki agrees for his own reasons. There's a moment where his gaze flickers, then fixes back on Nico. ]
I'm sure if anyone gave her the strength to do that, it was you.
[ for a moment, nico's eyes close, his brows furrowing as if he's warring against something within him. he is. it's his grief he's fighting and though nothing can bring his sister back, loki's words breathe life into a realization that nico has never had before. he recalls what he knows of loki's past and understands, then, that loki is speaking from a place of experience. how many times has loki been reborn as someone new? after the old man was the boy and now the young god that sits before him. if anyone knows what rebirth means, it's him.
slowly unwinding from his position, he crawls towards loki. six months ago, he wouldn't have been able to bring himself to do this because six months ago, he was still struggling with accepting who he is. now, he can cast aside the doubts and fears about being accepted because he knows he is. so he reaches for loki's free hand and entwines their fingers. ]
Father wouldn't appreciate that much you know. [ wryly spoken as he shyly looks up at the godling. ] Thank you.
[ Simply staying where he is so Nico can take hold of him, he raises a brow to huff more lightly than before. The Thank you is silently accepted with a squeeze around Nico's fingers. ]
Well! I'm definitely feeding him scenes from Saturday Night but I've got no idea where all that twerking is coming from. That's one-hundred percent your dad, sorry to say.
You've ruined nothing. I'm in a cute boy's bedroom on my birthday, it's starting off well.
[ An arm slings around Nico's waist as Loki tilts his head to peck him on the cheek in return. The toy stops dancing, returning to a sedate pose. He thumbs the base curiously. ]
[ hesitates as he reaches out for the figure (it's not a toy!) and lowers his hand. ]
It was. Part of a game I used to play called Mythomagic. After Bianca died, I burned most of my collection. This is all I have left. I couldn't burn it because she... She died getting it for me.
[ Studying Nico for a moment, Loki's palm opens up once more. A flash of green magic flares like fire, worping in a mini tornado as he pictures what he wants and mumbles the Asgardian incantation to spell-stick the little thing together, botching this and that. After ten seconds or so, he seems satisfied.
[ for a few seconds, he stares, and then reaches out to take both the figure and the card, holding them to his chest before giving loki another kiss on the cheek. ]
Obviously. I'm way more fashionable than your dad in his bathrobe.
[ Here now, Nico will receive a chaste but fond kiss on the lips if he wants one, the long (and magic-warmed) fingers of Loki brushing along the demigod's jaw. ]
What do you have planned for today, will you be okay? Balling up in a wad of loneliness seems like a wonderful plan but I promise there are better things to do with your time in this city.
[ hums softly into the kiss, tilting his chin up to feel the warmth of those fingers. ]
I don't know. I might visit the graveyard. She doesn't have a grave, but I can still leave libations for some of the others there. Someone should check to see if it's properly tended anyway.
Sounds festive. Leave some bacon for me, would you? I'm sure I've walked over some of those graves in the past ... and might have vomited on a couple.
[ Shrugging!! Not his fault at the time, nope. Loki stands, still holding Nico's hand for a little bit longer as he fixes him with a meaningful look. ]
Worse comes to worst, you can always summon our fishy friend.
[ and then meets loki's eyes with a determined gaze of his own. a fire seems lit in his gaze, hinting at the power he has hidden inside him. the kind of power that could easily be used for destruction. ]
I don't need him, Loki. I've dealt with this on my own before, I can do it again.
It's not a him, it's my magic. If you don't need it to help you heal, then I'm happy for you.
[ Look at how harmless he is, holding up his other hand in surrender. ]
I should go. I think Dick's cooking dinner today and I want to ensure he doesn't burn the apartment down, even if he won't let me in the kitchen. We'll talk later, yes?
It's happy already, thanks to you. Sleep well if you can.
[ A kiss buffs Nico's knuckles of the hand not clutching Loki's figurine and the godling teleports slowly this time like glittery green smog blowing away in an unreal wind, leaving Nico to his solemn solitude. ]
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sure, he has hazel now, but hazel is a world away and one room over is the boy who was there that day he felt the ringing in his ears, his birthright coming to call with the death of bianca. ]
She was brave and kind. Stubborn as well. She always took care of me. Even after she joined the Hunters, she thought about me. [ he glances up towards his desk where sits a small figurine of his father; the only figure he'd kept when he'd burned all the rest of his mythomagic items in his styx-side fire. ] And she was beautiful.
no subject
That solves one mystery. You both got your looks from your mother.
no subject
She died this time of year. Right before the winter solstice. I'll never forget that, even if I can't quite recall her face. And even after all this time, despite everything I've learned about my powers... I can't bring her back. She's chosen reincarnation. Even if I met her again, I wouldn't know her.
no subject
[ Sinking down on the other side of the bed, now closer to Nico, the little statue in Loki's palm glows green and starts dancing its knock-knees off like it can't decide whether to be a flapper or John Travolta.
Loki lifts his attention back to Nico. ]
Rebirth is only an option when you feel you've lived the best life you can, its memory fills you up. Your heart bursts with gratitude for all the chances and loved ones you had. It sounds as though your sister died loving you without limit and you made her life complete, even if she passed prematurely. It's a very brave thing, to become someone new.
[ Just as Nico said she was, brave etc, although Loki agrees for his own reasons. There's a moment where his gaze flickers, then fixes back on Nico. ]
I'm sure if anyone gave her the strength to do that, it was you.
no subject
slowly unwinding from his position, he crawls towards loki. six months ago, he wouldn't have been able to bring himself to do this because six months ago, he was still struggling with accepting who he is. now, he can cast aside the doubts and fears about being accepted because he knows he is. so he reaches for loki's free hand and entwines their fingers. ]
Father wouldn't appreciate that much you know. [ wryly spoken as he shyly looks up at the godling. ] Thank you.
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Well! I'm definitely feeding him scenes from Saturday Night but I've got no idea where all that twerking is coming from. That's one-hundred percent your dad, sorry to say.
[ Nudging Nico with an elbow. ]
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It's kind of like watching a skeleton dance. Appropriate.
[ a beat and then- ]
Sorry for ruining your birthday.
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[ An arm slings around Nico's waist as Loki tilts his head to peck him on the cheek in return. The toy stops dancing, returning to a sedate pose. He thumbs the base curiously. ]
Is this part of a collection?
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It was. Part of a game I used to play called Mythomagic. After Bianca died, I burned most of my collection. This is all I have left. I couldn't burn it because she... She died getting it for me.
no subject
[ Studying Nico for a moment, Loki's palm opens up once more. A flash of green magic flares like fire, worping in a mini tornado as he pictures what he wants and mumbles the Asgardian incantation to spell-stick the little thing together, botching this and that. After ten seconds or so, he seems satisfied.
When the light dies down he holds a stats card and a little figure of himself, offering Nico both. ]
To help kick off your hobby again.
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It's perfect. The cream of the collection.
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[ Here now, Nico will receive a chaste but fond kiss on the lips if he wants one, the long (and magic-warmed) fingers of Loki brushing along the demigod's jaw. ]
What do you have planned for today, will you be okay? Balling up in a wad of loneliness seems like a wonderful plan but I promise there are better things to do with your time in this city.
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[ hums softly into the kiss, tilting his chin up to feel the warmth of those fingers. ]
I don't know. I might visit the graveyard. She doesn't have a grave, but I can still leave libations for some of the others there. Someone should check to see if it's properly tended anyway.
no subject
[ Shrugging!! Not his fault at the time, nope. Loki stands, still holding Nico's hand for a little bit longer as he fixes him with a meaningful look. ]
Worse comes to worst, you can always summon our fishy friend.
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[ and then meets loki's eyes with a determined gaze of his own. a fire seems lit in his gaze, hinting at the power he has hidden inside him. the kind of power that could easily be used for destruction. ]
I don't need him, Loki. I've dealt with this on my own before, I can do it again.
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[ Look at how harmless he is, holding up his other hand in surrender. ]
I should go. I think Dick's cooking dinner today and I want to ensure he doesn't burn the apartment down, even if he won't let me in the kitchen. We'll talk later, yes?
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Okay. And... I really hope you have a happy birthday.
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[ A kiss buffs Nico's knuckles of the hand not clutching Loki's figurine and the godling teleports slowly this time like glittery green smog blowing away in an unreal wind, leaving Nico to his solemn solitude. ]