[ maybe annabeth should be a little more aware of how that comes off. maybe she should feel a little bad for leaving something that cryptic, that imposing, that curt. but also, it's annabeth. serious, to the point annabeth.
[ nico's known this would be coming. he's known it would only be a matter of time. after all, he'd practically slept with annabeth's boyfriend and has kissed him on more than one occasion. he also knows that percy would never hide that from the girl he fell into tartarus for. percy jackson is madly in love with annabeth chase so it's natural that he would tell her.
so what is she feeling then? annabeth is a hard nut to crack. she's brilliant, someone he's always admired, and that has been part of the reason he could never hate her despite his jealousy. is she mad at him, he wonders. does she hate him now? it comes as some surprise that he dreads this conversation just a little. he never wanted to hurt annabeth and he would like to think they're friends. but with someone who constantly lives in their brain, analyzes everything to the tiniest detail... he can never truly know what she's thinking.
he'd like to. he likes her. maybe not in the way he likes percy, but there was a reason he'd played up the charade of having a crush on her. who wouldn't fall for someone like annabeth? he completely understands why percy adores her so much. but in this web their caught within, he's worried that they all might come out for the worse.
it's why he's hesitant to respond, at first. he stares down at the message on his phone, chewing on his lip as his eyes trace over each letter. they're not swimming right now. he doesn't need the words to be in greek for him to understand the enormity of the situation. it's plain and simple right in front of him. he just needs to find the courage to respond.
and that's another thing. he's a coward and he knows it. it had been so hard to face his feelings for percy and now that he's had a chance to experience what it's like to be cared for by the sea's favored son, he doesn't want to lose that. at the same time, he doesn't want to lose whatever potential friendship has been forming between him and annabeth. he's afraid of driving them both away. and while he has will and loki to fall back on, it's just... well, annabeth and percy have been such a center to his life that it's hard to imagine them no longer being part of that. he's drawn to them both like gravity and that's another frightening realization.
to love percy jackson means accepting that the son of poseidon is in love with the wisdom's favored daughter. they're a packaged deal. and nico finds himself questioning how he feels about that.
he won't ignore the message, though. coward though he may be, he won't require one of cupid's arrows to force him into action. still gnawing his lip, he swallows hard and forces his fingers to move. ]
[ if she's being honest - which is a hard enough thing for annabeth to do, when it comes to her own thoughts and feelings - no, she doesn't hate nico. she doesn't know if she ever could. nico, hades son, the boy who never wanted to be there but always seemed to find his way back. he was shy, quiet, haunted - sure. but he was also smart, and aware, and had this kind of depth to him that annabeth couldn't help but be drawn to, despite it all.
nico di'angelo was interesting - and for a girl who has spent her life trying to understand, he was was like a riddle she hadn't figured out, or a puzzle she couldn't solve. or - maybe couldn't isn't the right word (it never is, is it?) but rather - hasn't.
hearing that nico had been the person percy had kissed - the person that percy had done more than kiss - doesn't surprise her. she's had the hunch for what feels like years, a gut feeling whenever she'd seen the two of them interact, whenever she watched nico. she knows the rumors - knows that everyone had thought the affections had been towards her. that she had known wasn't the case from the beginning, a gut feeling she'd believed the second it happened. but him and percy? had only been a theory, an idea until proven true.
which it had, apparently, done so.
but annabeth wasn't sure where she stood. equal parts of her were more interested in parsing out the reaction than the situation itself. but then she'd think about it, and she'd feel something grow heavy, and she'd be faced with the fact this was happening, and happening to her. it wasn't some godly trick, or some weird dream (or maybe it was?). this was something she had to deal with, and annabeth chase never backed down from conflict. ]
The park, near the fountain. One hour.
[ she recognizes that nico hadn't had to respond to her. that he didn't have to agree. but she also knows that if he hadn't, she probably would have tracked him down to have this talk anyway, because until they do, she's not sure where she can go or what can be accomplished.
she's heard percy's side of it. now it's time to hear nico's. and once she has all the facts, and all the factors, she could decide how it is she wanted to feel about it in the end. ]
[ trying to understand annabeth is like trying to navigate daedalus' labyrinth, something with which nico has become intimately familiar. but that doesn't mean he's prepared to see wisdom's daughter. the hour time makes him antsy, nervous, and part of him desires escaping rather than facing what he's sure to come.
what must she be thinking of him? what should he expect? annabeth is a formidable opponent not just because of her mind. but he doesn't want to think about having to fight her and he doubts that will be necessary. because of annabeth's analytical mind, he has no doubt that she's already considered the consequences of attacks. neither of them want to go home without accomplishing their goals. so it'll be a talk. and if anything, that just makes nico more nervous.
he'll be the last to say he's good with words. expressing himself is a struggle and though will has helped him a bit with that, even his boyfriend still rebukes him for his poor "people skills". what if he screws this up, he thinks. the repercussions could affect not just him, but all of them. nico doesn't want that kind of responsibility or fault to be placed upon him, warranted or not.
he's going, of course. there's no avoiding this with annabeth, especially once she moves in ( and he has no doubt that she will; she and percy shared a room previously, they'll no doubt share one again. ) he just needs to suck it up and get it over with.
which means when the appointed time comes, nico is there, stepping out of the shadows, as he's prone to do, with hands settled deep in his pockets. keen, dark eyes glance around for a familiar head of blonde hair as he considers the past. the sound of the fountain seems loud in his ears, like the rushing of blood in his veins he feels every time he gets near percy. a sensation he's grown so used to that he wonders if it's practically become part of him, part of his very self. he thinks about how for so long, he let people think he'd loved annabeth, how he'd made no effort to dissuade people from believing it was her he was in love with. frankly, even he can see it. how easy it would be to fall for her if he'd been normal.
sometimes he even wonders if it was for her or for percy that he did half the things he did. did he agree to fight for camp halfblood because percy asked? or because annabeth did? did he insist percy bathe in the styx to save annabeth ( and the rest of the world ) from losing who was so important to her? did he search for percy because he's always been in love with poseidon's son or was it because he knew annabeth was not the same without him? no doubt his reasons were far from altruistic. he refuses to believe he's that selfless. but whether it had been for percy or annabeth, now he isn't so sure.
one thing is certain, while he might feel a draw towards wisdom's daughter due to her brilliant mind, it will be percy who will always keep his heart ensnared. and because percy jackson is not percy jackson without annabeth chase, loving the son of the sea means loving her too.
it's... a strange concept to acknowledge and as a result, there's a wild look in his eyes. a fire lit behind the shattered glass of a mirror, glinting somewhere between desperation, fear, and maybe even a bit of madness. subdued only by constant melancholy that clings to nico like the shadows.
as per usual, his clothes are dark. the familiar stygian sword sits on his hip even if it's not typically needed in a place like eudio ( some habits die hard and once he returns to camp halfblood, he'll have to make sure his skills have dulled ). thanks to the weather, he's discarded his jacket for the time being, but his arms are crossed as they typically would be. the fountain provides a decent enough prop, and he shifts his gaze into the trickling water, wondering if annabeth chose this place due to the combination of her and percy's elements. architectural grace and flowing water. ]
[ the most difficult part about all of this is that annabeth, herself, isn't sure of the direction she wants this to take. the conversation with percy was relatively easy, compared to this, because all things with percy tended to be. she wants him, wants to spend the rest of her life with him, wants to be with him for better or for worse. this was something annabeth had come to terms with a while ago - holding up the sky, the months she spent searching the US for him, suspended over tartarus - annabeth knew she wanted to be with percy, no matter what obstacles would try and tear them apart, as well as she knew anything else.
the difficulties come with nico - and she feels the need to specify, there, that difficulties aren't necessarily bad things. in fact, they rarely were for the daughter of athena. challenges meant a chance to do something right. there was no point to it all of it was easy, and (as she's found over the years) if something was easy, it was almost always wrong, or a trick. for it to be correct, for it to be real, there had to be something to complicate matters. so of course, part of her wasn't even surprised when percy mentioned nico's name, looking like he'd done something so terribly, terribly wrong. she wasn't surprised at all, and probably wouldn't have been if she'd heard about this happening years ago. nico's feelings for percy had been a thought of her's for a while now, but no more than a gut feeling, letting the rest of everyone make their assumptions and their quips.
she knew, and nico knew, and as far as anyone else was concerned - they were the only ones who needed to.
now it was different, because now percy was involved, and annabeth was forced to face a lot more than a gut feeling. annabeth was forced to look at it, think it over, parse it out in her mind. because with it came everything else - how percy deals with people, how percy feels, and on top of all of that, there's her too. she's not exactly thrilled at the idea of talking things over with nico, and if she had her way she would have been happy to just ignore the situation completely. but she can't, she knows she can't, so she bucks up and messages him and now-
now. now they're meeting, and annabeth- well, she doesn't panic. because she knows what panic feels like and this isn't it. this is like a wave, or a tsunami, rising to fill her attention with all of the things she hasn't thought about, but was aware were there. things like how she's been noticing how he's grown, how he's become more comfortable at camp, how he acts around hazel and how he acts around percy, around her, versus everyone else. things like how she acts around him, an odd comfort that she probably shouldn't have, but does. how she can't quite ignore the way he interests her, how curious he makes her, how much she just wants to know, but can't, even when she tries.
nico di angelo has been a puzzle that she can't - or hasn't yet - solved for as long as she's known him, and that alone is both frustrating and...something. something she can't quite put a finger on.
she walks into the park a few moments early, still needing a stretch or two before she reaches the fountain. she has a basic plan of how she wants to go about this talk, things she needs to ask and things she needs to say, but what bothers her, what curls away at her stomach as she finally does find herself approaching the fountain, is that she's not exactly sure how it is she feels. and she hates the idea that she hasn't figured it out and made up her mind as she approaches, seeing the dark figure, arms crossed, waiting at the fountain. it's the first time she's seen him since she's come to the city, and she takes the second to let that sink in. to take down the details that are different, that have changed.
annabeth's hands are in the pockets of her jean shorts, wearing a hoodie of percy's she'd stolen after he'd taken her back to the house. her hair is pulled back, like normal, with various curls breaking free and hanging around her face. her eyes dart around the small square - more out of habit than any actual worry - before they fall on nico, slowing as she gets close enough, but leaving a bit of polite distance.
for a moment, she almost lets them stand in silence - taking in everything first before she bothers to say anything - but after that initial second or two she does end up tilting her head down the walkway. ]
Do you want to hang here or walk?
[ they're both demigods, which means they're both feeling that insistent itch under their skin. the need to move, the need to run. it's their survival instincts, sure, but with the added tension of the moment, she wouldn't mind talking and walking.
but she'll leave that up to nico. whatever would make him more comfortable, all things considered. ]
[ it's hard not to notice annabeth when she steps into view. the daughter of athena has always had an aura about her that has made her hard to ignore. not the kind of aura that nico typically seeks, to determine how close to or far away a person might be from dying. sure, annabeth has one of those ( robust and strong, stubborn even, just like percy's; nico has always wondered if it's formed that way due to their shared experience in tartarus ), but the one he senses in this moment is different. it's that of determination blended with something else. intelligence as per her godly traits, wisdom, and a fierceness that nico knows can be dangerous to face. his dark eyes linger on her for a few seconds longer, as if he needs to take in every inch of that part of her.
it's a magnetism. like the one that surrounds percy. tempting him to draw closer but he ignores the urge if only because he still isn't sure how to address this situation. without thinking, his own hands drop and he begins toying with the silver skull ring on his finger. a nervous habit that often crops up in situations he feels he can't control. and control is something he craves constantly. it's not like he's a control freak or anything like that. rather, his life has always been so hectic and outside his control that what little he can is gripped with the kind of hold he tends to keep on his sword. steady, strong, and occasionally desperately.
now is one of the moments when he doesn't feel in control. he feels out of place, out of his depth ( this is one hole he's willing to dig himself deeper into ), and he knows it's partly his fault. this is the price he's paying for letting himself fall back in love with percy. he's not afraid to face annabeth, but he's certainly feeling a bit of trepidation.
eyes like oil slicks dart around the park for a few seconds. not because he's seeking a way out of this ( he's done running ), but for lack of anything else to do while he's feeling antsy. eventually, his gaze shifts back to the daughter of athena, noting the way she's wearing one of percy's sweatshirts ( the one that had been on the floor of percy's room on that night; nico remembers it too well ). idly, he wonders if it was a calculated move on her part or if it was just something she grabbed.
a sliver of something sharp and painful lodges in his chest, in his heart, but he ignores it, swallowing hard and licking his lips. ]
Let's walk.
[ not just because he's antsy, but also because the sound of the trickling water in his ear is a distraction he doesn't need or want right now. it reminds him too much of percy and considering their conversation will eventually turn towards him anyway, he'd rather not have an additional reminder. ]
[ she feels his eyes on her more than anything, feels the way he's thinking. it's a little surreal, having grown up around so many other athena-kids, to feel such a different aura looking back at her as she approaches him. but that had always been nico - something impressive, dark, mysterious. something she can't help but be drawn to, to be curious about. she wants to pick him apart piece by piece, in a very different manner than she feels towards just about everyone else.
annabeth chase isn't drawn to many people - and usually it comes across as her being too intense, too serious, to bother with most everyone else. and part of that is true. but really, it comes down to curiosity. is someone piques hers, she's there for life - stubborn and loyal and protective. it took percy all of an hour before she couldn't stop wanting to know, luke and thalia too. nico might have taken a little longer, considering how little she saw of him at first, but now? now she looks at the son of hades, the ambassador for pluto, and she wonders.
the situation itself can kind of be explained that way, too. because yes - she's hurt. she's upset. she's unsure. but she's also a child of athena, which means her head will win out over her heart. she knows that percy loves her, though. in the same way she also knows he has feelings for nico. in the same way she's known, for some time, nico has had feelings for percy, despite the rumors that had gone around camp. despite percy's own thoughts on the matter. she is terrified of this whole situation, because she doesn't know what she's supposed to do, but it has to be something.
nico fidgets, and it actually does ease her slight ping of panic - he's nervous, he's worried, which means she can't be. maybe it's a bit of her camp counselor side coming back into play. or just the general feeling of being an older demigod. she calms, almost instantly, seeing nico worried, because she doesn't want him to worry. it's a moment of feeling she also doesn't understand, but she pushes it away to unpack later. she's already got enough on her plate.
he mentions walking, and she nods, starting off in a direction and pausing only to let nico catch up with her before continuing again. she moves her hands from her shorts to the pocket of the sweatshirt, her eyes falling over the park, the trail, what's out in front of them both. they have plenty of park to wander through for the extent of whatever conversation they're about to have, and that thought makes her feel a little better, letting out a slow breath. ]
So how long have you been here?
[ an easy starting point, she thinks. despite her first instinct being getting right to the point, she wants to give nico a few moments to settle. ]
[ the start to the conversation is easy enough and nico can't express how grateful he is that she's not jumping right into the topic that lingers like shadows between them. it gives him time and space to just breathe as well as think without feeling anxious. his hands drop to their sides and then slip into his pockets. this way, with shoulders slumped, he looks a bit more like she'd first seen him, though not nearly so young.
his body has aged, after all. in eudio, it's been as if they needed to make sure his age isn't questioned, and though he's somewhere around 87 years old or so, he looks all the world like a typical teenager, broody and introspective. it's just his eyes that betray his true age: the eyes of a boy who'd been put aside for nearly a decade only to be drawn out again and thrust into a war in which he never wanted to fight. eyes of a boy who'd walked through tartarus and saw its horrors unmasked. a boy who clung to life, pomegrante seed by pomegrante seed.
said eyes are settled now on annabeth. as he'd expect, she seems calm and collected. but he remembers. percy and annabeth clinging desperately as he reached for them. wishing there was some way he could save them from the horrors he'd experienced. but he'd been too weak and he hates himself for that.
the one you care for most... plunged into tartarus, and you still will not allow the truth?
nico almost winces as the memory surfaces. it would be too easy to sink back into that despair again and even as they walk, a bit of the grass at his feet wilts. he swallows, not wanting to let this get to him, but being strong has always been hard for him when it comes to his emotions.
because maybe that's how the fatal flaw of a child of hades works. holding grudges can be dangerous. especially when one holds a grudge against himself. it's taken nico a long time to accept himself, but there are still moments when that same cold feeling seeps into him and threatens to drag him under.
and it's not like he blames annabeth. once more, it's that grudge making him angry with himself, making him blame himself. he kicks at a dying tuft of grass and shrugs. ]
Six months or so. I arrived... shortly before Percy.
[ the slump of his shoulders has her feeling oddly nostalgic, like for a brief moment they were much younger, had much less weight on their shoulders. but he doesn't look young - that's definitely something she's noticed - and the contradiction of it has her nearly pausing. nearly, but not quite, as the slow, constant steps of their feet is one of the more important parts to this conversation. they need to keep moving, even if all she wants to do is watch him a little more closely.
something about the city has changed him, and unless puberty decided to hit all at once once he arrived, magic must be at play. he looks older, nearly her and percy's age, and that is...interesting? difficult? curious? she doesn't know. but there's a different slant to his cheekbones, a different line to his shoulders. his eyes might be the same boy who used to be so obsessed with mythomagic, but everything else is different.
gods, he's taller than her now.
but she doesn't linger on that, despite the initial shock of it. instead, her eyes glaze over him in a single sweep, before turning to the ground ahead of them. she hides that initial anger (more like a pout) and instead focuses on the task at hand, the conversation, how she even wants this to go. nico walks alongside her, and she can feel the tension between them. aggressively ignores it in favor of her relaxed shoulders, her seemingly nonchalant air. one step at a time. ]
Which means you were here last time I was. [ there's a brief moment where her jaw tightens around the word, still annoyed at what she thinks happened. still upset that apparently gods are still messing with memories. still messing with her memories. still, apparently, trying to mess with her relationships too.
it's a beat later that she realizes what she said is something of a dumb statement to make - of course nico was here when she was last. of course he had a front row seat to what happened. she doesn't need to rehash that.
so instead, annabeth sighs. shakes her head a little. glances over to nico to show him she's not mad, before turning back to the path ahead. ]
[ despite how much he can tell she's trying to put him at ease, his shoulders still tense when she brings up "her" previous stay in eudio. the muscles under his shirt tighten and he inwardly curses because while he doubts that things will go that direction again ( annabeth is actually talking to him this time ), he's still reminded of how much it had hurt to lose a friend. her silence had struck deep, making him miserable and guilt-ridden. he's never wanted his love for percy to hurt anyone and he's even tried to separate himself in the past for percy and annabeth's sake. but here in eudio, anger and pain had simmered and led to silence and nico regrets every moment of it.
he knows how much it hurt percy, too. remembers how percy had withdrawn from everyone, put up walls, and even avoided others after annabeth went quiet and then disappeared. if he weren't feeling so guilty about how annabeth had reacted to learning they'd kissed, he'd be angry with her for causing percy so much grief. he'd never blame her, though. the fault was entirely his own ( so he believes ) and he's the one that had made things harder for the son of poseidon.
of course, that was in the past. something that could no longer be changed or affected. here, now, percy is happy again. and annabeth is speaking to him. if nico were the type to keep up hope, he certainly would now.
gaze down at annabeth and catching the way her eyes rove over him, he chews his lip. no response can truly be given to her statement. she already knows the answer. it's her question that makes him pause as he considers, fingers still toying with his ring. ]
I... it's not bad. Will is here and there are people who aren't as creeped out by me. I'm almost accepted here.
[ it still takes a lot for him to admit his feelings about being being accepted or not at camp. he knows that will loves him, that most at camp are okay with him, but he also knows he still scares people. the thought makes his shoulders tense a little more. he releases his ring and settles for shoving his hands in his pockets with a shrug. ]
[ annabeth doesn't know the specifics of what happened last time. she doesn't know what she was thinking, or how she reacted, or why. the idea that she would go home and leave percy after what happened doesn't sit well with her, but she can't figure out a way around it. she already doesn't like saying sorry, especially when she doesn't know why she did it at all, but she saw the look in percy's face when he told her. saw that fear.
a part of her hates herself, thinking that she could make percy look like that. but the bigger part is too busy trying to figure out how to fix it to let that hatred grow. percy would do anything for his friends, anything for anyone, anything for her - and she's prepared to return the favor. a hundred times over, if she has to.
and then there's nico - who is an entirely different beast. one that she's forced herself to look at from a different angle, in a different light. she catches how he tenses when she brings up her last stay, and she can only imagine what he was going through during all that.
the mention of will brings up a whole different set of questions she has - not that he's here, or anything of that nature. but- well. no. not for now. one set of problems at a time. and while annabeth's first response is to open her mouth about that comment on camp, on people accepting him, she holds her tongue.
a few years ago, there would have been no way to keep her from holding back those thoughts. but the thought of what all has changed since then hangs somewhere in the air between them. a tension of how much they've grown.
he mentions percy's name, and for half a second she goes tense. a thin sheen of ice down her spine. but the half second passes, and she forces another breath, pushing away that tension before it could stick around on its own. this is what she's here to talk about, isn't it? ]
Yeah...he has that way of making things feel easier.
[ her voice sounds a little distant when she says it, despite the instinctual smile that creeps into her tone. she can't not smile when she talks about percy, which is a habit she has found to be more annoying than anything.
and percy's here.
there are a few moments here where annabeth lets the silence hang. a few moments where thoughts scroll through too fast for her to keep up. they walk almost ten steps before she finally continues, her voice only slightly different in tone than the sentence before. where there had been fondness, now is an unassuming, calm, straightforward tone. ]
He told me what happened.
[ one beat, then she looks over to gauge nico's reaction. to see how he looks after the statement. part of her wonders if she shouldn't have continued to ease into it. shouldn't have continued the conversation further. not that it mattered anymore. ]
[ when she says that, that percy has that way, he can't help the ghost of a smile that flitters at the corners of his lips. percy does have a way about him and that's why it had been so hard for nico to push aside his feelings. it had always been so hard to not give in, to bask in that tendency of percy's to put others at ease, but he'd had to constantly remind himself that it wasn't anything special, it wasn't anything meant necessarily for him. it wasn't like percy felt anything for him. percy was just a likable guy and nico was... well, the son of hades. and all that time, nico thought it was never meant to be.
until now.
granted, there are still issues. it's why he's walking with annabeth now. it's why she's telling him about what percy said. of course percy would tell annabeth. he expects nothing different. while he knows percy truly cares for him, desires him even, he also knows annabeth is percy's true love. the one who walked through tartarus with him. nico may have walked there too, would've been willing to do anything to protect percy ( and annabeth ) from those horrors, but he hadn't been strong enough. ( he might never be as strong as annabeth and percy are together ).
the hands in his pockets turn into fists as he tries to keep from letting his emotions get the better of him. it would be too easy to let his emotions out like he'd done when pushed by cupid, but he doesn't want to subject annabeth to the freezing darkness that his emotions would emit. this isn't her fault, it's his and percy's and he knows he has to face the consequences. ]
Of course he did. [ he winces at his own bitter tone and tries for something much lighter. ] I mean-
[ this is hard, he thinks. maybe not as hard as coming out had been, but definitely difficult. a sigh escapes him and he stops in his place, staring out across the grass. ]
You were there when I admitted how I'd felt for Percy. I... wasn't entirely truthful. Or, at least, I thought I was. I just didn't think there was any way anything would happen between us when I know his eyes are always on you. He loves you more than life. I knew I couldn't compete.
[ no matter how much he tried. not even waiting at the side of the styx had been enough. ]
I didn't want to hang onto feelings that would never go anywhere. So I gave up. But here... [ his shoulders rise and fall as he swallows and glances towards her. there's guilt in his colorless eyes and the smile has been replaced with a frown. ] I don't know how it happened, but it did. I fell back in love with him and I doubt I could ever stop. I love him, Annabeth. Maybe as much as you do.
[ she catches the briefest hint of a smile from nico, feeling an odd companionship over the moment. because it's easy, loving someone like percy. it's easy loving percy, just percy, and she can't really fault nico for that. not considering how long she's known - or at least, considered. seen the possibility. known it in her gut. for as long as everyone had whispered about nico crushing on annabeth, annabeth had other thoughts. thoughts she never voiced, less they become true.
faced with them now, she feels almost partially to blame. or- no. blame isn't the word she's looking for. something else. some kind of guilt that weighs at her chest.
she feels at war with it a bit - those feelings of her heart versus the facts in her head - but before she can get swept up in them she feels the air shift, the tension harden. noticing this allows her to expect the bitter tone to nico's words, unsurprised and expectant when it comes out. nico fumbles over them, and annabeth lets him, feeling him come to a stop and taking a few more steps herself before stopping, her back to him as he starts to explain.
he loves you more than life. i knew i couldn't compete.
annabeth turns, then, to face nico. watches his shoulders rise and fall. watches his form, still a bit hunched, braced against what he thinks will follow. as he talks, annabeth schools her expressions, holds back on her thoughts, lets the information happen without barely a blink before she starts to process it.
i love him, annabeth. maybe as much as you.
she will admit, her chest tightens when he says that. an internalized competitive and possessive side to her lurching at the sound of it. her jaw does tense, her need to be able to control her own emotions fighting hard to keep it in check. she doesn't take her eyes away from nico, and if he keeps watching her, he will probably be able to see that momentary shadow cross her grey eyes.
one moment passes, then two, before annabeth takes a slow breath and forces the tension out of her jaw. ]
I know, Nico. I have known. It's not... [ she trails off, that steadfast determination to keep her straight face faltering as her shoulders drop with her next exhale. it feels a bit like defeat, in a strange way. like she's been fighting this fate of theirs, trying to force something normal for her and percy, for once. and now she's come to realize that was never in the cards. not for them, not since the beginning.
annabeth sighs, her eyes falling to the ground between them as she tries to recenter herself. they need to talk about this, she knows they need to talk about this, but whatever plan she had going into this conversation escapes her now, leaving her frustrated and a little tired. ]
I don't blame you for it- or fault you, or whatever you want to call it. It's- [ she presses her lips together for a moment, trying to sort out how she wants to say what she's thinking. ] It's not like we get to choose who we fall in love with, and gods know he has that way of getting under people's skin.
[ there's another pause here, where annabeth weighs her thoughts, the scales tipping back and forth behind her eyes before she finally looks back up to nico, forcing herself to keep her head up. he deserves that much, despite how much they both want to run from this conversation. ]
He loves you too, you know. [ despite her best efforts, her smile is a little sad here. ] I don't know how, or in what ways, but he does.
[ he loves you too, you know. that almost makes him scoff ( old habits ), but he withholds his derision. it's not fair, he knows, to blame anyone for the truth in annabeth's words, even if he doubts them a little. in his head, it's still hard to believe that percy feels anything but uncertainty towards him when for so long their relationship had been so... unclear. not quite friends, but certainly not enemies. to think that percy might feel more than attraction makes nico's head spin and he shifts his footing.
how does he respond to that? should he argue against it? that seems rather counter productive when annabeth knows percy as intimately and emotionally as he does. if not more so. she would know what percy's feeling probably better than he does. and nico has no doubt that annabeth could lay it out in the most logical argument possible for something like this.
so he doesn't argue against it. he merely lifts his shoulders again, this time in a shrug as he shifts his gaze to the ground. ]
That may be true, but he'll always pick you first.
[ it's a truth that cannot be denied and he likes to think they both know it. after all, percy never would've considered going as far as he did had annabeth never left. he recalls what percy said about him being there for percy and knows that percy never would've needed or wanted him, much less looked at him the way he had, had annabeth been here the whole time.
and when it came to either grasping his hand or falling with annabeth, nico had seen first hand the choice percy made. it still tears him to pieces inside. ]
And it figures you'd known. [ a short, mirthless laugh escapes him. a soft heh. ] I mean, it's you. You're pretty much a genius. If anyone could figure me out, it's you.
[ his feet scuff at the ground again and fortunately no grass dies around his toes. but his emotions are still simmering and he's unsure how to let go without lashing out. ]
So what are we going to do then? I don't want to give him up, but- I know I can't compete to what you two have.
[ annabeth can tell that he doesn't believe her, and she has to push down that urge to argue further. to prove it to him. she'd seen the way percy had looked when he explained what happened, she could tell what it meant. and maybe she doesn't understand it, maybe she can't quite wrap her head around it, but she knows. the combative part of her almost says as much, again, just to make him believe, but she holds her tongue.
but he'll always pick you first.
she doesn't know how to respond to that, so in turn she feels herself start to frown. ]
Being first doesn't really have anything to do with it. [ because, okay, he's not wrong and they both know it. annabeth won't admit it either, but that fact is part of the only reason she's not as freaked out as she otherwise should be. percy loves her, and that isn't what they've come to discuss.
he just also happens to have feelings for nico. on top of that.
but then he laughs - short and soft - and annabeth relaxes just a bit. ]
You aren't very subtle, honestly. I'm surprised no one else figured it out. [ she shrugs, a little curious at the slight shift in tone of their conversation. wondering what nico means to bring all that up.
but then it returns again, and annabeth's eyes follow nico down to his feet. watching to see his reaction, to try and gauge how in control he really is in that moment. she has a feeling, but she isn't sure, and the lack of dead grass is...what, a good sign? or just that he's better at hiding his tells? ]
I don't know. [ she nearly cringes as she admits it, hating the way the words taste. ] I'm not...good at this. This is for Piper, or Sil- [ she bites back on silena's name, still uneasy and unsure how she feels about it all. she still hasn't spoken to the other camper, despite hearing from percy that she was here and alive again. that was another can of worms she'd have to deal with at another time. ]
In the end, it's not up to me. [ the words come out easily, despite how much she hates it. she wants it to be up to her. she wants to make an easy decision so that this could be buttoned up and pushed away.
but it's not that easy, and with the expression percy had shown her, she knows she can't just fix this. not as easily as she wants to. ] Or you, for that matter.
[ annabeth turns to look back further into the park, the lightly winding trail. she still wasn't sure how she felt about eudio, especially considering all of this, but she could appreciate the thought put into the layout. the elegantly sweeping architecture of the small croppings of stone scattered throughout. it calms her enough to keep going. ]
Percy cares about us both and apparently has feelings for us both. The nature of the agreement we made to come here- unless your's was different from mine- kind of changes traditional ways of looking at relationships. [ she pauses, suddenly not sure if that was where she should have gone with it, before she sighs and shakes her head a bit - reaching around to rub at the back of her neck. ] If I had an easy answer for you, I would have offered it up already. But I don't. I don't know if there is one.
[ after a moment annabeth drops her hand and slides it back into the pocket of percy's sweatshirt, looking back to nico with what is probably her most genuine face she's worn through the course of all of this. ]
I love him, Nico. I am always going to love him. And if you make him happy I'm not... [ an exhale, short and a bit forced - it could be a laugh, but it sounds a little too lost, a little too desperate for that. ] I'm not going to get in the way of that.
[ the laugh soon returns, despite even himself, as annabeth insists that he's not subtle. and frankly, he agrees. he'd tried so hard to make people believe he hated percy and she saw right through him. is he surprised by this? not in the least. once again, she proves to be the girl he's always admired and the one percy loves so much. he really should've expected as much.
he recalls that day in camp halfblood, when the war was over and he'd thought he was over percy too. the light in her hair, the pleased gleam in percy's eyes, and the way she'd given him a high-five. it reminds him that he likes annabeth, for all the jealousy he's had of her. it's a large part of why he could've never brought himself to come between them, though at that time, he'd never believed he could.
now, things are so very different. the dynamic has shifted and nico has gained something he'd thought was forever out of reach. but at what expense? her short, frustrated sigh clues him into just how much she's struggling too ( a strange realization for him given she always seems so composed ). they both love the same person and neither wants to see the other hurt. ]
I've had enough meddling from love gods, to be honest. As nice as Piper is and Silena... was, I don't really want their advice. Moments like these. Moments like these, I need logic to work through how I feel.
[ he looks up at her, expression genuine as that familiar manic light gleams in his eyes. percy and annabeth are a thing that's meant to be. he and percy... they're on the verge of being something too. only one solution comes to mind, one that doesn't leave anyone out. loathe as he is to share percy, he knows that loving percy means loving who percy loves. so his eyes seek hers and he withdraws his hands from his pockets. ]
I don't think any of us will find an easy answer. [ though he suspects that percy would be the best of the three to figure something out. not because he's smart or logical like either nico or annabeth, but because he lets his emotions rule his head better than the other two ever could. ] But... I may have a solution.
[ he licks his lips, gaze darting away for only the briefest of seconds, but when it returns to her grey eyes, his expression becomes determined. ] I won't let you stand aside for me and Percy. That wouldn't be fair to either of you. So why don't we just... [ his shoulders lift and fall in a shrug. ] Share him.
I'd do anything for Percy and I know you would too. I guess... I guess I like you. Maybe not, you know- Like that, but still. And I know that if I want to do what's right for all of us, it means accepting you being with Percy as well.
[ as he speaks, his hands move, gesturing as though he's agitated. it's more that he's trying to find the best way to word things. ]
It's not possible to make Percy choose, so why don't we give him both of us and work things out as they come along.
[ his laugh pulls a small smile from her too, and briefly she feels a lot more like annabeth and nico than she has up until this point. like it's still a secret shared between them. part of her wonders what it would have been like if she'd been there after they found him and his sister. what would have happened if she'd been around when he was introduced to the world. it's not worth too much thought - she wasn't, too busy trying to chase down luke, too busy holding up the sky - but she does entertain it briefly. wonder if things would have been different, then.
most of their early time together had been, what annabeth now knows was, jealousy. nico watching her and hating her. nico watching her and wishing she wasn't there. and maybe it was never that intense, maybe his jealousy was never that bad, but there was something that shaped those few years, that pushed nico away.
there is something inside of annabeth that almost feels guilty, but she's brought back to the conversation at hand. ]
Oh I definitely don't want the gods involved. Just- [ well, he has a point too. piper isn't here, and as much annabeth wished she was, it wouldn't be any help. logic was the best way through it, as nico suggests, but annabeth pauses even still. because if there's one thing she knows, it's that with love (and also percy jackson) logic wasn't always the best. but she waits for nico to offer his suggestion anyway, and when he does, she just...stops. ]
Share...him? [ it's a bit difficult to wrap her head around, so she gives herself a few moments to weight the option out.
at first, she doesn't like it - but that only takes a moment for her to recognize that as her own pride getting in the way, and she files it back. second, she's unsure of it. she may not be an expert on relationships, but she knows enough to know that for most people, sharing wasn't really an option. and she's still not sure how she feels about it, but she also knows that they are demigods, which means they're anything but most people. third, something about the simplicity of it doesn't quite...stick. yet.
as she processes, her face defaults into an intense expression - brow furrowed and lips in a tight line. it's not until he says i guess i like you that annabeth breaks out of it, blinking and looking back to the son of hades.
he's trying - that much she can see. it gives her an extra push to possibly consider it. an option. she doesn't have anything better to suggest, does she? ]
I guess I like you too. [ she says with a small, almost playful smile. because really, she does. nico is interesting, a quiet, withdrawn kid who had grown into...well. what she sees ahead of her. with an interesting kind of confidence and a mind and wit she could actually talk to.
for so long it'd only been percy that annabeth doesn't even know what it means to possibly be attracted to someone. so much that she's not even sure what she should be looking for. still, nico has a point, and annabeth finds herself nodding, letting out another longer, more relaxed breath of air. ]
It's worth a shot, if anything. [ even if she hates the idea of going into anything without a little more confidence that it'd work. ] But we'll also have to run it by Percy. If he's....comfortable with it.
[ watching her consider is a fascinating experience. one that ties patience in with something almost like attraction. the small crease between her brows, that tiny furrow of her lips. it's not something he'd see from percy and he doubts it's something he shows much. so much of his own thinking is done behind shuttered expressions that, really, only someone like annabeth can read. and percy... well, as much as he loves the son of poseidon, he knows percy is more prone to action than thought.
so it's a relief when she exhales slowly, nods as she comes to a decision. if they can agree on this, it's a good first step. after all, it would only cause percy pain if they couldn't come to some sort of arrangement, a consensus.
which brings his thoughts back to percy and how he'll feel about this. once again, annabeth has the right of things. they will have to check with him first, to see if he's comfortable with all of it. nico has a feeling that percy will be pleased. not just because the two people he cares about might be getting along, but also because this way, percy can have them without having to worry about trying to parse his feelings for them.
and he wants everything to go well for percy. it's why he's been willing to sacrifice so much over the years. for percy's sake. and in his head, making this small sacrifice seems worth it if it means he can, for once, have percy's love. it may be divided, but it's certainly better than being forever in love with a boy who won't look his way.
so he grins. it's more of a smirk because to him, this is an achievement. it means he's grown enough to accept his feelings in a way he'd never been willing to before. he's also grinning because he feels like this might be the best way to make things work. he's already told percy he can't go back on being in love with him, can't go back to being unloved in return. there may be a chance it will all fall apart, but nico's used to those kinds of chances. he was willing to bet on percy in the styx, willing to bet on percy and annabeth in tartarus, and he's willing to bet on this now. ]
Naturally. From this point on, all of our decisions should probably be made as... well, a threesome?
[ and here, a slight hint of color takes to his high italian cheeks. not because the idea is scandalous to him ( here in eudio, he's taken part in his fair share ) but because this is something new for them all and part of him really wants to explore it. ]
[ she's been called out on the look more than once, and there was a bit when younger annabeth was almost self conscious of it. the way luke and thalia would poke at her for the creases in her brow, how kids at camp would call her mean. percy even called her out on it more than a couple of times, talking about how intense she'd get when they were faced with a problem. she's no longer concerned with it - the look itself is so much of who annabeth is as her blonde hair and grey eyes - but it can still catch others off-guard.
whether or not nico is watching her, she doesn't quite notice, still trying to process how the idea fits in her understanding of things. what holds out above everything else is the fact that in the end, she'll do what it takes to make percy happy. if he's safe, if he's okay, and if they're together? then she doesn't have much room to complain.
and nico seems almost visibly more relaxed, and annabeth can...try. she doesn't know yet how she feels about it, or if she thinks this will even work, but they're going to talk to percy and nico is smiling and all things considered, she doesn't feel bad. she doesn't feel like it'll fail, and they've definitely worked through worse odds than this.
the comment he gives makes her blink, looking at nico with a blank, unassuming expression, like she can't even start to process he said that. she lets that sit for just a moment, before she feels her face break into a small grin. annabeth isn't laughing at him, but there's definitely a joking tone to it, before she shakes her head. ]
You said it. [ but he's right, and with a bit of a breath annabeth lifts her head a little more to check down the pathway. she knows they haven't been followed, and she knows no one is listening - or probably would even care - but she feels herself need to check just in case. ]
We can go back and talk to him at the apartment. [ when she'd messaged nico, percy was still sleeping. it'd be a 50/50 shot on if he was still there when she returned (considering how poorly they both sleep whenever the other isn't there) but it was a good place to start. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text » private.
[ maybe annabeth should be a little more aware of how that comes off. maybe she should feel a little bad for leaving something that cryptic, that imposing, that curt. but also, it's annabeth. serious, to the point annabeth.
she needs to figure this out. ]
text » private.
so what is she feeling then? annabeth is a hard nut to crack. she's brilliant, someone he's always admired, and that has been part of the reason he could never hate her despite his jealousy. is she mad at him, he wonders. does she hate him now? it comes as some surprise that he dreads this conversation just a little. he never wanted to hurt annabeth and he would like to think they're friends. but with someone who constantly lives in their brain, analyzes everything to the tiniest detail... he can never truly know what she's thinking.
he'd like to. he likes her. maybe not in the way he likes percy, but there was a reason he'd played up the charade of having a crush on her. who wouldn't fall for someone like annabeth? he completely understands why percy adores her so much. but in this web their caught within, he's worried that they all might come out for the worse.
it's why he's hesitant to respond, at first. he stares down at the message on his phone, chewing on his lip as his eyes trace over each letter. they're not swimming right now. he doesn't need the words to be in greek for him to understand the enormity of the situation. it's plain and simple right in front of him. he just needs to find the courage to respond.
and that's another thing. he's a coward and he knows it. it had been so hard to face his feelings for percy and now that he's had a chance to experience what it's like to be cared for by the sea's favored son, he doesn't want to lose that. at the same time, he doesn't want to lose whatever potential friendship has been forming between him and annabeth. he's afraid of driving them both away. and while he has will and loki to fall back on, it's just... well, annabeth and percy have been such a center to his life that it's hard to imagine them no longer being part of that. he's drawn to them both like gravity and that's another frightening realization.
to love percy jackson means accepting that the son of poseidon is in love with the wisdom's favored daughter. they're a packaged deal. and nico finds himself questioning how he feels about that.
he won't ignore the message, though. coward though he may be, he won't require one of cupid's arrows to force him into action. still gnawing his lip, he swallows hard and forces his fingers to move. ]
yeah. okay.
when and where?
text » private.
nico di'angelo was interesting - and for a girl who has spent her life trying to understand, he was was like a riddle she hadn't figured out, or a puzzle she couldn't solve. or - maybe couldn't isn't the right word (it never is, is it?) but rather - hasn't.
hearing that nico had been the person percy had kissed - the person that percy had done more than kiss - doesn't surprise her. she's had the hunch for what feels like years, a gut feeling whenever she'd seen the two of them interact, whenever she watched nico. she knows the rumors - knows that everyone had thought the affections had been towards her. that she had known wasn't the case from the beginning, a gut feeling she'd believed the second it happened. but him and percy? had only been a theory, an idea until proven true.
which it had, apparently, done so.
but annabeth wasn't sure where she stood. equal parts of her were more interested in parsing out the reaction than the situation itself. but then she'd think about it, and she'd feel something grow heavy, and she'd be faced with the fact this was happening, and happening to her. it wasn't some godly trick, or some weird dream (or maybe it was?). this was something she had to deal with, and annabeth chase never backed down from conflict. ]
The park, near the fountain.
One hour.
[ she recognizes that nico hadn't had to respond to her. that he didn't have to agree. but she also knows that if he hadn't, she probably would have tracked him down to have this talk anyway, because until they do, she's not sure where she can go or what can be accomplished.
she's heard percy's side of it. now it's time to hear nico's. and once she has all the facts, and all the factors, she could decide how it is she wanted to feel about it in the end. ]
text » private → action
what must she be thinking of him? what should he expect? annabeth is a formidable opponent not just because of her mind. but he doesn't want to think about having to fight her and he doubts that will be necessary. because of annabeth's analytical mind, he has no doubt that she's already considered the consequences of attacks. neither of them want to go home without accomplishing their goals. so it'll be a talk. and if anything, that just makes nico more nervous.
he'll be the last to say he's good with words. expressing himself is a struggle and though will has helped him a bit with that, even his boyfriend still rebukes him for his poor "people skills". what if he screws this up, he thinks. the repercussions could affect not just him, but all of them. nico doesn't want that kind of responsibility or fault to be placed upon him, warranted or not.
he's going, of course. there's no avoiding this with annabeth, especially once she moves in ( and he has no doubt that she will; she and percy shared a room previously, they'll no doubt share one again. ) he just needs to suck it up and get it over with.
which means when the appointed time comes, nico is there, stepping out of the shadows, as he's prone to do, with hands settled deep in his pockets. keen, dark eyes glance around for a familiar head of blonde hair as he considers the past. the sound of the fountain seems loud in his ears, like the rushing of blood in his veins he feels every time he gets near percy. a sensation he's grown so used to that he wonders if it's practically become part of him, part of his very self. he thinks about how for so long, he let people think he'd loved annabeth, how he'd made no effort to dissuade people from believing it was her he was in love with. frankly, even he can see it. how easy it would be to fall for her if he'd been normal.
sometimes he even wonders if it was for her or for percy that he did half the things he did. did he agree to fight for camp halfblood because percy asked? or because annabeth did? did he insist percy bathe in the styx to save annabeth ( and the rest of the world ) from losing who was so important to her? did he search for percy because he's always been in love with poseidon's son or was it because he knew annabeth was not the same without him? no doubt his reasons were far from altruistic. he refuses to believe he's that selfless. but whether it had been for percy or annabeth, now he isn't so sure.
one thing is certain, while he might feel a draw towards wisdom's daughter due to her brilliant mind, it will be percy who will always keep his heart ensnared. and because percy jackson is not percy jackson without annabeth chase, loving the son of the sea means loving her too.
it's... a strange concept to acknowledge and as a result, there's a wild look in his eyes. a fire lit behind the shattered glass of a mirror, glinting somewhere between desperation, fear, and maybe even a bit of madness. subdued only by constant melancholy that clings to nico like the shadows.
as per usual, his clothes are dark. the familiar stygian sword sits on his hip even if it's not typically needed in a place like eudio ( some habits die hard and once he returns to camp halfblood, he'll have to make sure his skills have dulled ). thanks to the weather, he's discarded his jacket for the time being, but his arms are crossed as they typically would be. the fountain provides a decent enough prop, and he shifts his gaze into the trickling water, wondering if annabeth chose this place due to the combination of her and percy's elements. architectural grace and flowing water. ]
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the difficulties come with nico - and she feels the need to specify, there, that difficulties aren't necessarily bad things. in fact, they rarely were for the daughter of athena. challenges meant a chance to do something right. there was no point to it all of it was easy, and (as she's found over the years) if something was easy, it was almost always wrong, or a trick. for it to be correct, for it to be real, there had to be something to complicate matters. so of course, part of her wasn't even surprised when percy mentioned nico's name, looking like he'd done something so terribly, terribly wrong. she wasn't surprised at all, and probably wouldn't have been if she'd heard about this happening years ago. nico's feelings for percy had been a thought of her's for a while now, but no more than a gut feeling, letting the rest of everyone make their assumptions and their quips.
she knew, and nico knew, and as far as anyone else was concerned - they were the only ones who needed to.
now it was different, because now percy was involved, and annabeth was forced to face a lot more than a gut feeling. annabeth was forced to look at it, think it over, parse it out in her mind. because with it came everything else - how percy deals with people, how percy feels, and on top of all of that, there's her too. she's not exactly thrilled at the idea of talking things over with nico, and if she had her way she would have been happy to just ignore the situation completely. but she can't, she knows she can't, so she bucks up and messages him and now-
now. now they're meeting, and annabeth- well, she doesn't panic. because she knows what panic feels like and this isn't it. this is like a wave, or a tsunami, rising to fill her attention with all of the things she hasn't thought about, but was aware were there. things like how she's been noticing how he's grown, how he's become more comfortable at camp, how he acts around hazel and how he acts around percy, around her, versus everyone else. things like how she acts around him, an odd comfort that she probably shouldn't have, but does. how she can't quite ignore the way he interests her, how curious he makes her, how much she just wants to know, but can't, even when she tries.
nico di angelo has been a puzzle that she can't - or hasn't yet - solved for as long as she's known him, and that alone is both frustrating and...something. something she can't quite put a finger on.
she walks into the park a few moments early, still needing a stretch or two before she reaches the fountain. she has a basic plan of how she wants to go about this talk, things she needs to ask and things she needs to say, but what bothers her, what curls away at her stomach as she finally does find herself approaching the fountain, is that she's not exactly sure how it is she feels. and she hates the idea that she hasn't figured it out and made up her mind as she approaches, seeing the dark figure, arms crossed, waiting at the fountain. it's the first time she's seen him since she's come to the city, and she takes the second to let that sink in. to take down the details that are different, that have changed.
annabeth's hands are in the pockets of her jean shorts, wearing a hoodie of percy's she'd stolen after he'd taken her back to the house. her hair is pulled back, like normal, with various curls breaking free and hanging around her face. her eyes dart around the small square - more out of habit than any actual worry - before they fall on nico, slowing as she gets close enough, but leaving a bit of polite distance.
for a moment, she almost lets them stand in silence - taking in everything first before she bothers to say anything - but after that initial second or two she does end up tilting her head down the walkway. ]
Do you want to hang here or walk?
[ they're both demigods, which means they're both feeling that insistent itch under their skin. the need to move, the need to run. it's their survival instincts, sure, but with the added tension of the moment, she wouldn't mind talking and walking.
but she'll leave that up to nico. whatever would make him more comfortable, all things considered. ]
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it's a magnetism. like the one that surrounds percy. tempting him to draw closer but he ignores the urge if only because he still isn't sure how to address this situation. without thinking, his own hands drop and he begins toying with the silver skull ring on his finger. a nervous habit that often crops up in situations he feels he can't control. and control is something he craves constantly. it's not like he's a control freak or anything like that. rather, his life has always been so hectic and outside his control that what little he can is gripped with the kind of hold he tends to keep on his sword. steady, strong, and occasionally desperately.
now is one of the moments when he doesn't feel in control. he feels out of place, out of his depth ( this is one hole he's willing to dig himself deeper into ), and he knows it's partly his fault. this is the price he's paying for letting himself fall back in love with percy. he's not afraid to face annabeth, but he's certainly feeling a bit of trepidation.
eyes like oil slicks dart around the park for a few seconds. not because he's seeking a way out of this ( he's done running ), but for lack of anything else to do while he's feeling antsy. eventually, his gaze shifts back to the daughter of athena, noting the way she's wearing one of percy's sweatshirts ( the one that had been on the floor of percy's room on that night; nico remembers it too well ). idly, he wonders if it was a calculated move on her part or if it was just something she grabbed.
a sliver of something sharp and painful lodges in his chest, in his heart, but he ignores it, swallowing hard and licking his lips. ]
Let's walk.
[ not just because he's antsy, but also because the sound of the trickling water in his ear is a distraction he doesn't need or want right now. it reminds him too much of percy and considering their conversation will eventually turn towards him anyway, he'd rather not have an additional reminder. ]
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annabeth chase isn't drawn to many people - and usually it comes across as her being too intense, too serious, to bother with most everyone else. and part of that is true. but really, it comes down to curiosity. is someone piques hers, she's there for life - stubborn and loyal and protective. it took percy all of an hour before she couldn't stop wanting to know, luke and thalia too. nico might have taken a little longer, considering how little she saw of him at first, but now? now she looks at the son of hades, the ambassador for pluto, and she wonders.
the situation itself can kind of be explained that way, too. because yes - she's hurt. she's upset. she's unsure. but she's also a child of athena, which means her head will win out over her heart. she knows that percy loves her, though. in the same way she also knows he has feelings for nico. in the same way she's known, for some time, nico has had feelings for percy, despite the rumors that had gone around camp. despite percy's own thoughts on the matter. she is terrified of this whole situation, because she doesn't know what she's supposed to do, but it has to be something.
nico fidgets, and it actually does ease her slight ping of panic - he's nervous, he's worried, which means she can't be. maybe it's a bit of her camp counselor side coming back into play. or just the general feeling of being an older demigod. she calms, almost instantly, seeing nico worried, because she doesn't want him to worry. it's a moment of feeling she also doesn't understand, but she pushes it away to unpack later. she's already got enough on her plate.
he mentions walking, and she nods, starting off in a direction and pausing only to let nico catch up with her before continuing again. she moves her hands from her shorts to the pocket of the sweatshirt, her eyes falling over the park, the trail, what's out in front of them both. they have plenty of park to wander through for the extent of whatever conversation they're about to have, and that thought makes her feel a little better, letting out a slow breath. ]
So how long have you been here?
[ an easy starting point, she thinks. despite her first instinct being getting right to the point, she wants to give nico a few moments to settle. ]
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his body has aged, after all. in eudio, it's been as if they needed to make sure his age isn't questioned, and though he's somewhere around 87 years old or so, he looks all the world like a typical teenager, broody and introspective. it's just his eyes that betray his true age: the eyes of a boy who'd been put aside for nearly a decade only to be drawn out again and thrust into a war in which he never wanted to fight. eyes of a boy who'd walked through tartarus and saw its horrors unmasked. a boy who clung to life, pomegrante seed by pomegrante seed.
said eyes are settled now on annabeth. as he'd expect, she seems calm and collected. but he remembers. percy and annabeth clinging desperately as he reached for them. wishing there was some way he could save them from the horrors he'd experienced. but he'd been too weak and he hates himself for that.
the one you care for most... plunged into tartarus, and you still will not allow the truth?
nico almost winces as the memory surfaces. it would be too easy to sink back into that despair again and even as they walk, a bit of the grass at his feet wilts. he swallows, not wanting to let this get to him, but being strong has always been hard for him when it comes to his emotions.
because maybe that's how the fatal flaw of a child of hades works. holding grudges can be dangerous. especially when one holds a grudge against himself. it's taken nico a long time to accept himself, but there are still moments when that same cold feeling seeps into him and threatens to drag him under.
and it's not like he blames annabeth. once more, it's that grudge making him angry with himself, making him blame himself. he kicks at a dying tuft of grass and shrugs. ]
Six months or so. I arrived... shortly before Percy.
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something about the city has changed him, and unless puberty decided to hit all at once once he arrived, magic must be at play. he looks older, nearly her and percy's age, and that is...interesting? difficult? curious? she doesn't know. but there's a different slant to his cheekbones, a different line to his shoulders. his eyes might be the same boy who used to be so obsessed with mythomagic, but everything else is different.
gods, he's taller than her now.
but she doesn't linger on that, despite the initial shock of it. instead, her eyes glaze over him in a single sweep, before turning to the ground ahead of them. she hides that initial anger (more like a pout) and instead focuses on the task at hand, the conversation, how she even wants this to go. nico walks alongside her, and she can feel the tension between them. aggressively ignores it in favor of her relaxed shoulders, her seemingly nonchalant air. one step at a time. ]
Which means you were here last time I was. [ there's a brief moment where her jaw tightens around the word, still annoyed at what she thinks happened. still upset that apparently gods are still messing with memories. still messing with her memories. still, apparently, trying to mess with her relationships too.
it's a beat later that she realizes what she said is something of a dumb statement to make - of course nico was here when she was last. of course he had a front row seat to what happened. she doesn't need to rehash that.
so instead, annabeth sighs. shakes her head a little. glances over to nico to show him she's not mad, before turning back to the path ahead. ]
How do you like it here?
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he knows how much it hurt percy, too. remembers how percy had withdrawn from everyone, put up walls, and even avoided others after annabeth went quiet and then disappeared. if he weren't feeling so guilty about how annabeth had reacted to learning they'd kissed, he'd be angry with her for causing percy so much grief. he'd never blame her, though. the fault was entirely his own ( so he believes ) and he's the one that had made things harder for the son of poseidon.
of course, that was in the past. something that could no longer be changed or affected. here, now, percy is happy again. and annabeth is speaking to him. if nico were the type to keep up hope, he certainly would now.
gaze down at annabeth and catching the way her eyes rove over him, he chews his lip. no response can truly be given to her statement. she already knows the answer. it's her question that makes him pause as he considers, fingers still toying with his ring. ]
I... it's not bad. Will is here and there are people who aren't as creeped out by me. I'm almost accepted here.
[ it still takes a lot for him to admit his feelings about being being accepted or not at camp. he knows that will loves him, that most at camp are okay with him, but he also knows he still scares people. the thought makes his shoulders tense a little more. he releases his ring and settles for shoving his hands in his pockets with a shrug. ]
And Percy's here.
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a part of her hates herself, thinking that she could make percy look like that. but the bigger part is too busy trying to figure out how to fix it to let that hatred grow. percy would do anything for his friends, anything for anyone, anything for her - and she's prepared to return the favor. a hundred times over, if she has to.
and then there's nico - who is an entirely different beast. one that she's forced herself to look at from a different angle, in a different light. she catches how he tenses when she brings up her last stay, and she can only imagine what he was going through during all that.
the mention of will brings up a whole different set of questions she has - not that he's here, or anything of that nature. but- well. no. not for now. one set of problems at a time. and while annabeth's first response is to open her mouth about that comment on camp, on people accepting him, she holds her tongue.
a few years ago, there would have been no way to keep her from holding back those thoughts. but the thought of what all has changed since then hangs somewhere in the air between them. a tension of how much they've grown.
he mentions percy's name, and for half a second she goes tense. a thin sheen of ice down her spine. but the half second passes, and she forces another breath, pushing away that tension before it could stick around on its own. this is what she's here to talk about, isn't it? ]
Yeah...he has that way of making things feel easier.
[ her voice sounds a little distant when she says it, despite the instinctual smile that creeps into her tone. she can't not smile when she talks about percy, which is a habit she has found to be more annoying than anything.
and percy's here.
there are a few moments here where annabeth lets the silence hang. a few moments where thoughts scroll through too fast for her to keep up. they walk almost ten steps before she finally continues, her voice only slightly different in tone than the sentence before. where there had been fondness, now is an unassuming, calm, straightforward tone. ]
He told me what happened.
[ one beat, then she looks over to gauge nico's reaction. to see how he looks after the statement. part of her wonders if she shouldn't have continued to ease into it. shouldn't have continued the conversation further. not that it mattered anymore. ]
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until now.
granted, there are still issues. it's why he's walking with annabeth now. it's why she's telling him about what percy said. of course percy would tell annabeth. he expects nothing different. while he knows percy truly cares for him, desires him even, he also knows annabeth is percy's true love. the one who walked through tartarus with him. nico may have walked there too, would've been willing to do anything to protect percy ( and annabeth ) from those horrors, but he hadn't been strong enough. ( he might never be as strong as annabeth and percy are together ).
the hands in his pockets turn into fists as he tries to keep from letting his emotions get the better of him. it would be too easy to let his emotions out like he'd done when pushed by cupid, but he doesn't want to subject annabeth to the freezing darkness that his emotions would emit. this isn't her fault, it's his and percy's and he knows he has to face the consequences. ]
Of course he did. [ he winces at his own bitter tone and tries for something much lighter. ] I mean-
[ this is hard, he thinks. maybe not as hard as coming out had been, but definitely difficult. a sigh escapes him and he stops in his place, staring out across the grass. ]
You were there when I admitted how I'd felt for Percy. I... wasn't entirely truthful. Or, at least, I thought I was. I just didn't think there was any way anything would happen between us when I know his eyes are always on you. He loves you more than life. I knew I couldn't compete.
[ no matter how much he tried. not even waiting at the side of the styx had been enough. ]
I didn't want to hang onto feelings that would never go anywhere. So I gave up. But here... [ his shoulders rise and fall as he swallows and glances towards her. there's guilt in his colorless eyes and the smile has been replaced with a frown. ] I don't know how it happened, but it did. I fell back in love with him and I doubt I could ever stop. I love him, Annabeth. Maybe as much as you do.
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faced with them now, she feels almost partially to blame. or- no. blame isn't the word she's looking for. something else. some kind of guilt that weighs at her chest.
she feels at war with it a bit - those feelings of her heart versus the facts in her head - but before she can get swept up in them she feels the air shift, the tension harden. noticing this allows her to expect the bitter tone to nico's words, unsurprised and expectant when it comes out. nico fumbles over them, and annabeth lets him, feeling him come to a stop and taking a few more steps herself before stopping, her back to him as he starts to explain.
he loves you more than life. i knew i couldn't compete.
annabeth turns, then, to face nico. watches his shoulders rise and fall. watches his form, still a bit hunched, braced against what he thinks will follow. as he talks, annabeth schools her expressions, holds back on her thoughts, lets the information happen without barely a blink before she starts to process it.
i love him, annabeth. maybe as much as you.
she will admit, her chest tightens when he says that. an internalized competitive and possessive side to her lurching at the sound of it. her jaw does tense, her need to be able to control her own emotions fighting hard to keep it in check. she doesn't take her eyes away from nico, and if he keeps watching her, he will probably be able to see that momentary shadow cross her grey eyes.
one moment passes, then two, before annabeth takes a slow breath and forces the tension out of her jaw. ]
I know, Nico. I have known. It's not... [ she trails off, that steadfast determination to keep her straight face faltering as her shoulders drop with her next exhale. it feels a bit like defeat, in a strange way. like she's been fighting this fate of theirs, trying to force something normal for her and percy, for once. and now she's come to realize that was never in the cards. not for them, not since the beginning.
annabeth sighs, her eyes falling to the ground between them as she tries to recenter herself. they need to talk about this, she knows they need to talk about this, but whatever plan she had going into this conversation escapes her now, leaving her frustrated and a little tired. ]
I don't blame you for it- or fault you, or whatever you want to call it. It's- [ she presses her lips together for a moment, trying to sort out how she wants to say what she's thinking. ] It's not like we get to choose who we fall in love with, and gods know he has that way of getting under people's skin.
[ there's another pause here, where annabeth weighs her thoughts, the scales tipping back and forth behind her eyes before she finally looks back up to nico, forcing herself to keep her head up. he deserves that much, despite how much they both want to run from this conversation. ]
He loves you too, you know. [ despite her best efforts, her smile is a little sad here. ] I don't know how, or in what ways, but he does.
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how does he respond to that? should he argue against it? that seems rather counter productive when annabeth knows percy as intimately and emotionally as he does. if not more so. she would know what percy's feeling probably better than he does. and nico has no doubt that annabeth could lay it out in the most logical argument possible for something like this.
so he doesn't argue against it. he merely lifts his shoulders again, this time in a shrug as he shifts his gaze to the ground. ]
That may be true, but he'll always pick you first.
[ it's a truth that cannot be denied and he likes to think they both know it. after all, percy never would've considered going as far as he did had annabeth never left. he recalls what percy said about him being there for percy and knows that percy never would've needed or wanted him, much less looked at him the way he had, had annabeth been here the whole time.
and when it came to either grasping his hand or falling with annabeth, nico had seen first hand the choice percy made. it still tears him to pieces inside. ]
And it figures you'd known. [ a short, mirthless laugh escapes him. a soft heh. ] I mean, it's you. You're pretty much a genius. If anyone could figure me out, it's you.
[ his feet scuff at the ground again and fortunately no grass dies around his toes. but his emotions are still simmering and he's unsure how to let go without lashing out. ]
So what are we going to do then? I don't want to give him up, but- I know I can't compete to what you two have.
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but he'll always pick you first.
she doesn't know how to respond to that, so in turn she feels herself start to frown. ]
Being first doesn't really have anything to do with it. [ because, okay, he's not wrong and they both know it. annabeth won't admit it either, but that fact is part of the only reason she's not as freaked out as she otherwise should be. percy loves her, and that isn't what they've come to discuss.
he just also happens to have feelings for nico. on top of that.
but then he laughs - short and soft - and annabeth relaxes just a bit. ]
You aren't very subtle, honestly. I'm surprised no one else figured it out. [ she shrugs, a little curious at the slight shift in tone of their conversation. wondering what nico means to bring all that up.
but then it returns again, and annabeth's eyes follow nico down to his feet. watching to see his reaction, to try and gauge how in control he really is in that moment. she has a feeling, but she isn't sure, and the lack of dead grass is...what, a good sign? or just that he's better at hiding his tells? ]
I don't know. [ she nearly cringes as she admits it, hating the way the words taste. ] I'm not...good at this. This is for Piper, or Sil- [ she bites back on silena's name, still uneasy and unsure how she feels about it all. she still hasn't spoken to the other camper, despite hearing from percy that she was here and alive again. that was another can of worms she'd have to deal with at another time. ]
In the end, it's not up to me. [ the words come out easily, despite how much she hates it. she wants it to be up to her. she wants to make an easy decision so that this could be buttoned up and pushed away.
but it's not that easy, and with the expression percy had shown her, she knows she can't just fix this. not as easily as she wants to. ] Or you, for that matter.
[ annabeth turns to look back further into the park, the lightly winding trail. she still wasn't sure how she felt about eudio, especially considering all of this, but she could appreciate the thought put into the layout. the elegantly sweeping architecture of the small croppings of stone scattered throughout. it calms her enough to keep going. ]
Percy cares about us both and apparently has feelings for us both. The nature of the agreement we made to come here- unless your's was different from mine- kind of changes traditional ways of looking at relationships. [ she pauses, suddenly not sure if that was where she should have gone with it, before she sighs and shakes her head a bit - reaching around to rub at the back of her neck. ] If I had an easy answer for you, I would have offered it up already. But I don't. I don't know if there is one.
[ after a moment annabeth drops her hand and slides it back into the pocket of percy's sweatshirt, looking back to nico with what is probably her most genuine face she's worn through the course of all of this. ]
I love him, Nico. I am always going to love him. And if you make him happy I'm not... [ an exhale, short and a bit forced - it could be a laugh, but it sounds a little too lost, a little too desperate for that. ] I'm not going to get in the way of that.
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he recalls that day in camp halfblood, when the war was over and he'd thought he was over percy too. the light in her hair, the pleased gleam in percy's eyes, and the way she'd given him a high-five. it reminds him that he likes annabeth, for all the jealousy he's had of her. it's a large part of why he could've never brought himself to come between them, though at that time, he'd never believed he could.
now, things are so very different. the dynamic has shifted and nico has gained something he'd thought was forever out of reach. but at what expense? her short, frustrated sigh clues him into just how much she's struggling too ( a strange realization for him given she always seems so composed ). they both love the same person and neither wants to see the other hurt. ]
I've had enough meddling from love gods, to be honest. As nice as Piper is and Silena... was, I don't really want their advice. Moments like these. Moments like these, I need logic to work through how I feel.
[ he looks up at her, expression genuine as that familiar manic light gleams in his eyes. percy and annabeth are a thing that's meant to be. he and percy... they're on the verge of being something too. only one solution comes to mind, one that doesn't leave anyone out. loathe as he is to share percy, he knows that loving percy means loving who percy loves. so his eyes seek hers and he withdraws his hands from his pockets. ]
I don't think any of us will find an easy answer. [ though he suspects that percy would be the best of the three to figure something out. not because he's smart or logical like either nico or annabeth, but because he lets his emotions rule his head better than the other two ever could. ] But... I may have a solution.
[ he licks his lips, gaze darting away for only the briefest of seconds, but when it returns to her grey eyes, his expression becomes determined. ] I won't let you stand aside for me and Percy. That wouldn't be fair to either of you. So why don't we just... [ his shoulders lift and fall in a shrug. ] Share him.
I'd do anything for Percy and I know you would too. I guess... I guess I like you. Maybe not, you know- Like that, but still. And I know that if I want to do what's right for all of us, it means accepting you being with Percy as well.
[ as he speaks, his hands move, gesturing as though he's agitated. it's more that he's trying to find the best way to word things. ]
It's not possible to make Percy choose, so why don't we give him both of us and work things out as they come along.
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most of their early time together had been, what annabeth now knows was, jealousy. nico watching her and hating her. nico watching her and wishing she wasn't there. and maybe it was never that intense, maybe his jealousy was never that bad, but there was something that shaped those few years, that pushed nico away.
there is something inside of annabeth that almost feels guilty, but she's brought back to the conversation at hand. ]
Oh I definitely don't want the gods involved. Just- [ well, he has a point too. piper isn't here, and as much annabeth wished she was, it wouldn't be any help. logic was the best way through it, as nico suggests, but annabeth pauses even still. because if there's one thing she knows, it's that with love (and also percy jackson) logic wasn't always the best. but she waits for nico to offer his suggestion anyway, and when he does, she just...stops. ]
Share...him? [ it's a bit difficult to wrap her head around, so she gives herself a few moments to weight the option out.
at first, she doesn't like it - but that only takes a moment for her to recognize that as her own pride getting in the way, and she files it back. second, she's unsure of it. she may not be an expert on relationships, but she knows enough to know that for most people, sharing wasn't really an option. and she's still not sure how she feels about it, but she also knows that they are demigods, which means they're anything but most people. third, something about the simplicity of it doesn't quite...stick. yet.
as she processes, her face defaults into an intense expression - brow furrowed and lips in a tight line. it's not until he says i guess i like you that annabeth breaks out of it, blinking and looking back to the son of hades.
he's trying - that much she can see. it gives her an extra push to possibly consider it. an option. she doesn't have anything better to suggest, does she? ]
I guess I like you too. [ she says with a small, almost playful smile. because really, she does. nico is interesting, a quiet, withdrawn kid who had grown into...well. what she sees ahead of her. with an interesting kind of confidence and a mind and wit she could actually talk to.
for so long it'd only been percy that annabeth doesn't even know what it means to possibly be attracted to someone. so much that she's not even sure what she should be looking for. still, nico has a point, and annabeth finds herself nodding, letting out another longer, more relaxed breath of air. ]
It's worth a shot, if anything. [ even if she hates the idea of going into anything without a little more confidence that it'd work. ] But we'll also have to run it by Percy. If he's....comfortable with it.
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so it's a relief when she exhales slowly, nods as she comes to a decision. if they can agree on this, it's a good first step. after all, it would only cause percy pain if they couldn't come to some sort of arrangement, a consensus.
which brings his thoughts back to percy and how he'll feel about this. once again, annabeth has the right of things. they will have to check with him first, to see if he's comfortable with all of it. nico has a feeling that percy will be pleased. not just because the two people he cares about might be getting along, but also because this way, percy can have them without having to worry about trying to parse his feelings for them.
and he wants everything to go well for percy. it's why he's been willing to sacrifice so much over the years. for percy's sake. and in his head, making this small sacrifice seems worth it if it means he can, for once, have percy's love. it may be divided, but it's certainly better than being forever in love with a boy who won't look his way.
so he grins. it's more of a smirk because to him, this is an achievement. it means he's grown enough to accept his feelings in a way he'd never been willing to before. he's also grinning because he feels like this might be the best way to make things work. he's already told percy he can't go back on being in love with him, can't go back to being unloved in return. there may be a chance it will all fall apart, but nico's used to those kinds of chances. he was willing to bet on percy in the styx, willing to bet on percy and annabeth in tartarus, and he's willing to bet on this now. ]
Naturally. From this point on, all of our decisions should probably be made as... well, a threesome?
[ and here, a slight hint of color takes to his high italian cheeks. not because the idea is scandalous to him ( here in eudio, he's taken part in his fair share ) but because this is something new for them all and part of him really wants to explore it. ]
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whether or not nico is watching her, she doesn't quite notice, still trying to process how the idea fits in her understanding of things. what holds out above everything else is the fact that in the end, she'll do what it takes to make percy happy. if he's safe, if he's okay, and if they're together? then she doesn't have much room to complain.
and nico seems almost visibly more relaxed, and annabeth can...try. she doesn't know yet how she feels about it, or if she thinks this will even work, but they're going to talk to percy and nico is smiling and all things considered, she doesn't feel bad. she doesn't feel like it'll fail, and they've definitely worked through worse odds than this.
the comment he gives makes her blink, looking at nico with a blank, unassuming expression, like she can't even start to process he said that. she lets that sit for just a moment, before she feels her face break into a small grin. annabeth isn't laughing at him, but there's definitely a joking tone to it, before she shakes her head. ]
You said it. [ but he's right, and with a bit of a breath annabeth lifts her head a little more to check down the pathway. she knows they haven't been followed, and she knows no one is listening - or probably would even care - but she feels herself need to check just in case. ]
We can go back and talk to him at the apartment. [ when she'd messaged nico, percy was still sleeping. it'd be a 50/50 shot on if he was still there when she returned (considering how poorly they both sleep whenever the other isn't there) but it was a good place to start. ]