[ he has no reason to put up a fight. nico flips their positions and percy rolls with it, having no qualms with nico on top of him. he's leaning over him, pumping the brakes, and all percy can think about is how much he enjoys nico's weight on his lap, how he wants to keep rubbing against him, how much of a distraction he is from their conversation which is more significant than his physical needs. he reaches for nico's hips and graps them lightly, just somewhere to rest his hands. his teeth dig into his lower lip because he's torturing himself with the thought of dragging nico down against him, of holding him there, and he has to toss his head back and look at the ceiling to focus.
get it together, jackson. ]
No, [ he says with perfect clarity, attention back on nico. ] I'm not using you. I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me just because I'm hard. [ yes, he knows there's more to it than that for nico but it doesn't sit right with him, like somehow because he's more experienced it's okay for him to get percy off but not the other way around.
his stare is strange as if the question catches him off guard. what does he want? that's a thing? he sighs, wondering how it is that nico does that. he cuts through everything else and gets right to the point. he doesn't ramble on or waste his words and he's always been that way. so sure of his choice even in the midst of chaos. he knows what he wants, it's easy for him to answer that. percy, not so much. ]
I don't know. [ helpful! ] I don't want it to be one-sided. I want us both to enjoy this, or I don't want anything. [ so many people have taken things from nico. bianca took his hope for a family, hades took away his hope for learning about his past, percy took him for granted for a long time, and then there's cupid, taking his chance to decide for himself how he wants to accept himself. he doesn't want to add to that. he doesn't want to keep pushing and pulling because nico can bend without breaking.
he brushes his fingers across nico's waistband, contemplating dropping his palm and covering his erection with it. he's strongly considering it, but he hesitates. percy wants to hear what he has to say because he usually has a reasonable solution for all parties. he's good at that. ]
no subject
get it together, jackson. ]
No, [ he says with perfect clarity, attention back on nico. ] I'm not using you. I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me just because I'm hard. [ yes, he knows there's more to it than that for nico but it doesn't sit right with him, like somehow because he's more experienced it's okay for him to get percy off but not the other way around.
his stare is strange as if the question catches him off guard. what does he want? that's a thing? he sighs, wondering how it is that nico does that. he cuts through everything else and gets right to the point. he doesn't ramble on or waste his words and he's always been that way. so sure of his choice even in the midst of chaos. he knows what he wants, it's easy for him to answer that. percy, not so much. ]
I don't know. [ helpful! ] I don't want it to be one-sided. I want us both to enjoy this, or I don't want anything. [ so many people have taken things from nico. bianca took his hope for a family, hades took away his hope for learning about his past, percy took him for granted for a long time, and then there's cupid, taking his chance to decide for himself how he wants to accept himself. he doesn't want to add to that. he doesn't want to keep pushing and pulling because nico can bend without breaking.
he brushes his fingers across nico's waistband, contemplating dropping his palm and covering his erection with it. he's strongly considering it, but he hesitates. percy wants to hear what he has to say because he usually has a reasonable solution for all parties. he's good at that. ]