[ when she says that, that percy has that way, he can't help the ghost of a smile that flitters at the corners of his lips. percy does have a way about him and that's why it had been so hard for nico to push aside his feelings. it had always been so hard to not give in, to bask in that tendency of percy's to put others at ease, but he'd had to constantly remind himself that it wasn't anything special, it wasn't anything meant necessarily for him. it wasn't like percy felt anything for him. percy was just a likable guy and nico was... well, the son of hades. and all that time, nico thought it was never meant to be.
until now.
granted, there are still issues. it's why he's walking with annabeth now. it's why she's telling him about what percy said. of course percy would tell annabeth. he expects nothing different. while he knows percy truly cares for him, desires him even, he also knows annabeth is percy's true love. the one who walked through tartarus with him. nico may have walked there too, would've been willing to do anything to protect percy ( and annabeth ) from those horrors, but he hadn't been strong enough. ( he might never be as strong as annabeth and percy are together ).
the hands in his pockets turn into fists as he tries to keep from letting his emotions get the better of him. it would be too easy to let his emotions out like he'd done when pushed by cupid, but he doesn't want to subject annabeth to the freezing darkness that his emotions would emit. this isn't her fault, it's his and percy's and he knows he has to face the consequences. ]
Of course he did. [ he winces at his own bitter tone and tries for something much lighter. ] I mean-
[ this is hard, he thinks. maybe not as hard as coming out had been, but definitely difficult. a sigh escapes him and he stops in his place, staring out across the grass. ]
You were there when I admitted how I'd felt for Percy. I... wasn't entirely truthful. Or, at least, I thought I was. I just didn't think there was any way anything would happen between us when I know his eyes are always on you. He loves you more than life. I knew I couldn't compete.
[ no matter how much he tried. not even waiting at the side of the styx had been enough. ]
I didn't want to hang onto feelings that would never go anywhere. So I gave up. But here... [ his shoulders rise and fall as he swallows and glances towards her. there's guilt in his colorless eyes and the smile has been replaced with a frown. ] I don't know how it happened, but it did. I fell back in love with him and I doubt I could ever stop. I love him, Annabeth. Maybe as much as you do.
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until now.
granted, there are still issues. it's why he's walking with annabeth now. it's why she's telling him about what percy said. of course percy would tell annabeth. he expects nothing different. while he knows percy truly cares for him, desires him even, he also knows annabeth is percy's true love. the one who walked through tartarus with him. nico may have walked there too, would've been willing to do anything to protect percy ( and annabeth ) from those horrors, but he hadn't been strong enough. ( he might never be as strong as annabeth and percy are together ).
the hands in his pockets turn into fists as he tries to keep from letting his emotions get the better of him. it would be too easy to let his emotions out like he'd done when pushed by cupid, but he doesn't want to subject annabeth to the freezing darkness that his emotions would emit. this isn't her fault, it's his and percy's and he knows he has to face the consequences. ]
Of course he did. [ he winces at his own bitter tone and tries for something much lighter. ] I mean-
[ this is hard, he thinks. maybe not as hard as coming out had been, but definitely difficult. a sigh escapes him and he stops in his place, staring out across the grass. ]
You were there when I admitted how I'd felt for Percy. I... wasn't entirely truthful. Or, at least, I thought I was. I just didn't think there was any way anything would happen between us when I know his eyes are always on you. He loves you more than life. I knew I couldn't compete.
[ no matter how much he tried. not even waiting at the side of the styx had been enough. ]
I didn't want to hang onto feelings that would never go anywhere. So I gave up. But here... [ his shoulders rise and fall as he swallows and glances towards her. there's guilt in his colorless eyes and the smile has been replaced with a frown. ] I don't know how it happened, but it did. I fell back in love with him and I doubt I could ever stop. I love him, Annabeth. Maybe as much as you do.