[ despite how much he can tell she's trying to put him at ease, his shoulders still tense when she brings up "her" previous stay in eudio. the muscles under his shirt tighten and he inwardly curses because while he doubts that things will go that direction again ( annabeth is actually talking to him this time ), he's still reminded of how much it had hurt to lose a friend. her silence had struck deep, making him miserable and guilt-ridden. he's never wanted his love for percy to hurt anyone and he's even tried to separate himself in the past for percy and annabeth's sake. but here in eudio, anger and pain had simmered and led to silence and nico regrets every moment of it.
he knows how much it hurt percy, too. remembers how percy had withdrawn from everyone, put up walls, and even avoided others after annabeth went quiet and then disappeared. if he weren't feeling so guilty about how annabeth had reacted to learning they'd kissed, he'd be angry with her for causing percy so much grief. he'd never blame her, though. the fault was entirely his own ( so he believes ) and he's the one that had made things harder for the son of poseidon.
of course, that was in the past. something that could no longer be changed or affected. here, now, percy is happy again. and annabeth is speaking to him. if nico were the type to keep up hope, he certainly would now.
gaze down at annabeth and catching the way her eyes rove over him, he chews his lip. no response can truly be given to her statement. she already knows the answer. it's her question that makes him pause as he considers, fingers still toying with his ring. ]
I... it's not bad. Will is here and there are people who aren't as creeped out by me. I'm almost accepted here.
[ it still takes a lot for him to admit his feelings about being being accepted or not at camp. he knows that will loves him, that most at camp are okay with him, but he also knows he still scares people. the thought makes his shoulders tense a little more. he releases his ring and settles for shoving his hands in his pockets with a shrug. ]
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he knows how much it hurt percy, too. remembers how percy had withdrawn from everyone, put up walls, and even avoided others after annabeth went quiet and then disappeared. if he weren't feeling so guilty about how annabeth had reacted to learning they'd kissed, he'd be angry with her for causing percy so much grief. he'd never blame her, though. the fault was entirely his own ( so he believes ) and he's the one that had made things harder for the son of poseidon.
of course, that was in the past. something that could no longer be changed or affected. here, now, percy is happy again. and annabeth is speaking to him. if nico were the type to keep up hope, he certainly would now.
gaze down at annabeth and catching the way her eyes rove over him, he chews his lip. no response can truly be given to her statement. she already knows the answer. it's her question that makes him pause as he considers, fingers still toying with his ring. ]
I... it's not bad. Will is here and there are people who aren't as creeped out by me. I'm almost accepted here.
[ it still takes a lot for him to admit his feelings about being being accepted or not at camp. he knows that will loves him, that most at camp are okay with him, but he also knows he still scares people. the thought makes his shoulders tense a little more. he releases his ring and settles for shoving his hands in his pockets with a shrug. ]
And Percy's here.