[ nico's trying to kill him. that's what this is. he's trying to strip him of everything he is in a way that both hera and the river styx failed to. ( gods, right there, right there, yes. ) he rakes his teeth hard across his bottom lip and for a few agonizing seconds he's stuck staring at the stretch of exposed skin. he wants to bite nico, lean up and taste his throat. drag his teeth across it, leave a mark, maybe. he leans up halfway, but he doesn't make it as far as he wants before he's crying out and descending into a series of what he perceives as unflattering noises. he doesn't care. he doesn't have the drive to be modest with nico essentially riding him, and when he stops, percy really considers flipping him over and picking back up where they left off. he struggles with it visibly, warring with what he wants versus how he wants it to eventually unfold, if it ever does.
he can feel the pre-cum pooling at the head of his cock, wetting a spot on the front of his boxers. percy squirms under nico and drops his gaze to the prominent v of his hips. he's staring. how is nico this hot? how is this fair? he knows all he has to do is say the word and nico's willing to be his for tonight, willing to go that extra step and teach him what sex is really like. his fingers flex in the sheets once they slide away and it's a miracle he doesn't say what he's thinking out loud. he doesn't know anything about sucking cock, but there's a moment where he thinks about how easy it'd be to pull nico forward, to tug the front of his pants down and try. it's such a filthy thought for him that he has to physically bind himself not to find out if he's that impulsive.
the son of hades whimpers, smooths his hands over his chest again, and percy thinks stop. stop doing that. because he can't. he doesn't know how. ]
I just need to stop touching you for a minute. [ yeah, that's going to help. he crosses his arms behind his head, pins his own arms in place because it's the only thing that stops him from reaching out. now that he knows what being with nico feels like, he can't pretend that he's not interested. he can't tell himself it's a weird situation based on circumstance and it'll pass. percy jackson wants nico di angelo, now he knows for sure. is it only the physical aspects? he wants to say yes, needs to, but there's a feeling he gets in his gut that says that's a lie. if that's true, that he's only into nico for these sensations, they would have gotten it over with already. it wouldn't mean anything, and he wouldn't feel as guilty.
he cares about nico, always has, but the extent of that concern is transforming, expanding. until now, he hasn't had to ask himself what it means. in fact, he's avoided it like the plague. nico's with will. and until they'd kissed again, it'd been easy to try and separate himself from it and focus on everything he feels regarding annabeth's departure. sparring with clarisse, running until he can't anymore, trying to exert himself physically so that there's nothing left mentally or emotionally. except at the end of the day, he still misses annabeth, and nico's still one of the only people there for him.
nico wets his lips and asks him a question, and percy worries if he answers him, he's going to lose this. think first, percy, think. ]
Because you're here. [ he says thoughtlessly, ignoring his own advice. he doesn't mean it quite like it comes across, like it's only because nico's on top of him, waiting in the wings. as if anyone will do. anyone that pursues him and kisses him and sits on top of his lap in annabeth's absence. he unfolds one arm even though it's dangerous for him, catches nico's wrist before he can shadow travel out of the room due to that really crappy explanation.
percy guides nico's hand to his heart, not really thinking about the placement on that level so much as he wants nico to feel under his fingertips what he's doing to him. ]
I've given you practically every reason not to be near me over the years and you haven't left my side. You've been here for me since the moment we got into this city. [ yeah, percy's not dumb. he knows there may be ulterior motives there, that in light of being here, a spark has been reignited in nico's heart - hope, and he's guilty of fanning that flame, of needing it to some degree because he'd felt unworthy of it. ]
If we do this, I want it to mean something. I want to be sure. I don't want it to be because of me, because I need to feel like I'm worth something to someone. [ losing annabeth is messing with his head. not talking out with her, not knowing what she feels, what she thinks, it's tearing him apart. ] Sorry, that's.. not your mess. I mean that I want it to be because we want to be with each other that way. I don't want to question it later. I don't want anything else clouding my judgment. Does that make sense?
[ he's a romantic at heart. he wants his first time, be it with annabeth or nico ( or someone else ), to be perfect. ]
no subject
he can feel the pre-cum pooling at the head of his cock, wetting a spot on the front of his boxers. percy squirms under nico and drops his gaze to the prominent v of his hips. he's staring. how is nico this hot? how is this fair? he knows all he has to do is say the word and nico's willing to be his for tonight, willing to go that extra step and teach him what sex is really like. his fingers flex in the sheets once they slide away and it's a miracle he doesn't say what he's thinking out loud. he doesn't know anything about sucking cock, but there's a moment where he thinks about how easy it'd be to pull nico forward, to tug the front of his pants down and try. it's such a filthy thought for him that he has to physically bind himself not to find out if he's that impulsive.
the son of hades whimpers, smooths his hands over his chest again, and percy thinks stop. stop doing that. because he can't. he doesn't know how. ]
I just need to stop touching you for a minute. [ yeah, that's going to help. he crosses his arms behind his head, pins his own arms in place because it's the only thing that stops him from reaching out. now that he knows what being with nico feels like, he can't pretend that he's not interested. he can't tell himself it's a weird situation based on circumstance and it'll pass. percy jackson wants nico di angelo, now he knows for sure. is it only the physical aspects? he wants to say yes, needs to, but there's a feeling he gets in his gut that says that's a lie. if that's true, that he's only into nico for these sensations, they would have gotten it over with already. it wouldn't mean anything, and he wouldn't feel as guilty.
he cares about nico, always has, but the extent of that concern is transforming, expanding. until now, he hasn't had to ask himself what it means. in fact, he's avoided it like the plague. nico's with will. and until they'd kissed again, it'd been easy to try and separate himself from it and focus on everything he feels regarding annabeth's departure. sparring with clarisse, running until he can't anymore, trying to exert himself physically so that there's nothing left mentally or emotionally. except at the end of the day, he still misses annabeth, and nico's still one of the only people there for him.
nico wets his lips and asks him a question, and percy worries if he answers him, he's going to lose this. think first, percy, think. ]
Because you're here. [ he says thoughtlessly, ignoring his own advice. he doesn't mean it quite like it comes across, like it's only because nico's on top of him, waiting in the wings. as if anyone will do. anyone that pursues him and kisses him and sits on top of his lap in annabeth's absence. he unfolds one arm even though it's dangerous for him, catches nico's wrist before he can shadow travel out of the room due to that really crappy explanation.
percy guides nico's hand to his heart, not really thinking about the placement on that level so much as he wants nico to feel under his fingertips what he's doing to him. ]
I've given you practically every reason not to be near me over the years and you haven't left my side. You've been here for me since the moment we got into this city. [ yeah, percy's not dumb. he knows there may be ulterior motives there, that in light of being here, a spark has been reignited in nico's heart - hope, and he's guilty of fanning that flame, of needing it to some degree because he'd felt unworthy of it. ]
If we do this, I want it to mean something. I want to be sure. I don't want it to be because of me, because I need to feel like I'm worth something to someone. [ losing annabeth is messing with his head. not talking out with her, not knowing what she feels, what she thinks, it's tearing him apart. ] Sorry, that's.. not your mess. I mean that I want it to be because we want to be with each other that way. I don't want to question it later. I don't want anything else clouding my judgment. Does that make sense?
[ he's a romantic at heart. he wants his first time, be it with annabeth or nico ( or someone else ), to be perfect. ]